Author rod_in_gtown Posted September 19, 2008 Author Posted September 19, 2008 Why would she care? You hadn't even met her at that point. I think she cares because Jen and Laura are teammates. I think she mentioned something like "Laura's sloppy seconds", which I don't believe is the case. I didn't get rejected by Laura, I just met Jen afterwards and was smitten by her. If anything one might argue that I chose Jen over Laura. Either way, I hope Jen can get past it and see all the great things my friend told her about me. Also, guess what, she seemed concerned about my height as well. I'm 5'11 and she's 5'10. I hope I don't get another height repeat.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 If she can't get beyond that then she is kinda lame. I suspect she isn't lame, however, in which case you have nothing to worry about.
Author rod_in_gtown Posted September 24, 2008 Author Posted September 24, 2008 It's nice but Jen had nothing to apologize at all for. Not really, she was just apologizing for not calling me back when I called her / being unavailable. IMO it's just her way of telling me not to take it the wrong way, that she's actually interested. I was going to call her this week but my friend told me not to. Apparently she's had a very very rough and busy week, to the point that she's missed a practice and she has a perfect attendance record. Hearing how overwhelmed she is makes me want to do something nice for her but I feel at this stage it might be misinterpreted.
Author rod_in_gtown Posted October 9, 2008 Author Posted October 9, 2008 Well, I had just about written Jen off, I had called her a couple of times, tried asking her out before leaving on my trip to Miami last week and didn't get a call back. So I figured she's not interested. I even went speed dating last night. Today I was talking to my friend about speed dating last night and we got to the topic of Jen, I told her that I was not going to keep pursuing it because she hadn't gotten back to me and I figured that was her way of saying "I'm not interested". I asked my friend to NOT say anything to Jen, that I was only going to let it fizzle, and about 5 minutes ago, very suspiciously I get an email from Jen. It says: "Hey Rod_in_gtown. I got your email from *friend* so I could quicky fire off an apology for not returning your phone call from last week. I've been absolutely swamped with my jobs and battling two colds. Plus my phone is still not functioning properly, and I'm receiving messages - such as yours - days after they were left. Anyway, I don't want to bore you with all my lame excuses. But I know I owe you a call and I'm sorry I have been unresponsive. I hope you had a good trip to Miami. - Jen" I'm thoroughly confused. I want to go out with her but she keeps on disappearing and the issues with her phone are starting to sound like an excuse. She doesn't really say that she does want to get together some time in the email so I don't know if she's just being polite or is actually interested... At this point, I just don't know what to think.
Shygirl15 Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 It's clear, Rod. She's just not interested. There wouldn't have been any confusion on your part if she was.
sunshinegirl Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 It's clear, Rod. She's just not interested. There wouldn't have been any confusion on your part if she was. I agree. She probably just felt guilty for being rude. If she was interested she would have suggested getting together. Move on...
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 I agree. She probably just felt guilty for being rude. If she was interested she would have suggested getting together. Move on... I second this...I'm in a similar situation right now, and I'm letting it go. At this point I'm just not interested anymore.
Author rod_in_gtown Posted October 13, 2008 Author Posted October 13, 2008 I was able to talk to Jen tonight.. she does sound like she's got a terrible cold. she was very warm and talkative. Our schedules are ridiculous so we have a date a week from Tuesday. We're going for drinks to this really funky coffee house / bar in the DC area. They just opened a second store and we'll be hitting it after she teaches her class. Whoo hooo!
Star Gazer Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Rod, are you looking for a relationship? If so, while she may be interested, she's not relationship-material. Why waste your time?
Author rod_in_gtown Posted October 13, 2008 Author Posted October 13, 2008 Hi SG, Why do you say she's not relationship material?
Star Gazer Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Do you want someone who would wait this long to contact you, and only after being nudged (regardless of her cold, schedule, etc.)? Or someone you'd honestly have to wait a week and a half to see? Doesn't sound like the makings of someone who's capable of having a relationship.
Author rod_in_gtown Posted October 13, 2008 Author Posted October 13, 2008 I'm concerned about these things. She did offer to meet the day after tomorrow. Unfortunately I already have plans (volunteering for phone banks) so she offered next Tuesday as a compromise. Her friend did speak on her behalf very well, and conviced me that she's definitely worth the delays. Otherwise I would've moved on already.
Star Gazer Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 *Shrug* To each their own. Personally, I prefer to engage with people who are actually available to date, and for a potential relationship. If they're not, it doesn't matter how awesome they are...
Author rod_in_gtown Posted October 13, 2008 Author Posted October 13, 2008 Also, she's someone who never dates. She hasn't gone on a date in years so I'm willing to cut her some slack. I don't think that makes her incapable of being in a relationship. Maybe she's just unsure ok how to do it. Either way, I won't know if I don't ask her and I can't ask her if I don't go out with her.
Star Gazer Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Again, to each their own. I'm don't desire to train someone how to date or be in a relationship either.
Author rod_in_gtown Posted October 13, 2008 Author Posted October 13, 2008 I know SG, like I said, I worry about those things too. And I appreciate you mentioning them. I know why you do it and I know it's not because you want to tell me how to date
Lishy Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 The only flakes I like are chocolate ones!!!! And that girl is a flake with a capital F!
Author rod_in_gtown Posted October 13, 2008 Author Posted October 13, 2008 I'm afraid there will be a big I told you so from all you girls in the future... Maybe it's the masochist in me that likes to put myself in these situations.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Frosted Flakes are pretty good, too I would be really curious as to why she hasn't been on a date in years. Lack of interest? Opportunity? Was she in a long FWB type of arrangement that satisfied her needs? Hmmm.....
Author rod_in_gtown Posted October 13, 2008 Author Posted October 13, 2008 Well, my friend who is really close to her, told me that her life is VERY busy. Rowing is a morning sport, which means you get up at 3 or 4 AM every morning and go hit the river hard which means 9 or 10 PM bed times are the norm. Also, this means that your weekends are also packed with races and meets and practice. so there's little going out at night. Additionally she's got a pretty hectic job at a non-profit and like most professionals in the area 10-hour work days are the norm. To top that, she teaches spinning at a gym 3 times a week and also heads the board of directors of a couple of associations. So I do see why she's so busy, her friends speak very highly of her and wish she dated more. She's usually by herself at parties and when she's not doing all of these things, she's usually resting. In fact, most of her friends from rowing, are all single and don't date very often. That's why you'll find rowers dating rowers more often than not. So I get it. And I like her. I just want to see if there's anything there. I guess I like a challenge
Lishy Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 You must like a challenge cos this girl is a major challenge! I could not be bothered to be honest! Seems like too much hard work!
Stockalone Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 I'm concerned about these things. She did offer to meet the day after tomorrow. Unfortunately I already have plans (volunteering for phone banks) so she offered next Tuesday as a compromise. Her friend did speak on her behalf very well, and conviced me that she's definitely worth the delays. Otherwise I would've moved on already. I wouldn't worry too much about her being a flake. Some people are that way when they are on the fence about whether or not they should date you. And you have a friend vouching for her. It's sounds like it is worth a try and giving her a bit more time seems all right. Maybe she will stop with the flakiness once you start dating. If she truly is a flake and/or not really interested, you have "wasted" nothing more than a few phone calls. You also said she hasn't dated in years. I think that some reluctance/flakiness on her part can be expected in that case. Cutting her some slack, as you are doing, seems to be well within reason. I'm afraid there will be a big I told you so from all you girls in the future... Maybe it's the masochist in me that likes to put myself in these situations. I don't think it is masochistic at all. If we men don't take chances, we get nowhere.
flc Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Well, my friend who is really close to her, told me that her life is VERY busy. Rowing is a morning sport, which means you get up at 3 or 4 AM every morning and go hit the river hard which means 9 or 10 PM bed times are the norm. Also, this means that your weekends are also packed with races and meets and practice. so there's little going out at night. Additionally she's got a pretty hectic job at a non-profit and like most professionals in the area 10-hour work days are the norm. To top that, she teaches spinning at a gym 3 times a week and also heads the board of directors of a couple of associations. So I do see why she's so busy, her friends speak very highly of her and wish she dated more. She's usually by herself at parties and when she's not doing all of these things, she's usually resting. In fact, most of her friends from rowing, are all single and don't date very often. That's why you'll find rowers dating rowers more often than not. So I get it. And I like her. I just want to see if there's anything there. I guess I like a challenge So with all of that, where does it leave time for you? It is not a challenge it is impossible. Say you date her and like her it sounds like you will be lucky to see her once a week. If you can live with that fine but if not why bother
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Well, my friend who is really close to her, told me that her life is VERY busy. Rowing is a morning sport, which means you get up at 3 or 4 AM every morning and go hit the river hard which means 9 or 10 PM bed times are the norm. Also, this means that your weekends are also packed with races and meets and practice. so there's little going out at night. Additionally she's got a pretty hectic job at a non-profit and like most professionals in the area 10-hour work days are the norm. To top that, she teaches spinning at a gym 3 times a week and also heads the board of directors of a couple of associations. So I do see why she's so busy, her friends speak very highly of her and wish she dated more. She's usually by herself at parties and when she's not doing all of these things, she's usually resting. ) Wow, I'm tired just reading that. I wonder where she would fit you in if she chose to? Sounds like she would have to give something up. Would you want to be with someone who could only carve out little spaces of time for you? Because you know, eve if you guys end up dating, you can't have the expectation in the back of your head that she will drop half of her activities for you. Maybe she will, but you can't count on that. Well it will be interesting to see what happens! Stockalone is right, sometimes you just have to take chances. What do you have to lose? Not much.
Author rod_in_gtown Posted October 13, 2008 Author Posted October 13, 2008 Wow, I'm tired just reading that. I wonder where she would fit you in if she chose to? Sounds like she would have to give something up. Would you want to be with someone who could only carve out little spaces of time for you? Because you know, eve if you guys end up dating, you can't have the expectation in the back of your head that she will drop half of her activities for you. Maybe she will, but you can't count on that. Well it will be interesting to see what happens! Stockalone is right, sometimes you just have to take chances. What do you have to lose? Not much. That's ok, I'll just move in with her on our third date so she'll just HAVE to see me when she gets home at night and before she leaves for practice in the mornings! :lmao:
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