Contacting by e-mail: way to blow it, or way to do it?

[prettybaby]

I've posted about getting back in touch with someone, but got very little feedback.

 

I'll be more specific now: I am currently considering getting back in touch with an old crush (haven't seen him in 6 years or so), and send him a casual e-mail to see how he's doing. I'm still undecided though! E-mails are so easy to ignore. What do I do if he doesn't respond?

 

What do you think? Any advise? Or any better way of getting back in touch? He doesn't have MySpace/Facebook; which I don't use either anyway.

[cybersister]

if he doesn,t respond you have your answer ( assuming the email address is good)

What have you got to lose?

[prettybaby]

Well there's my favorite sandwich place right next to where he works; I used to eat there for lunch pretty often in the past. If I start this old habit again, I might end up bumping into him .... but I feel so weird and stalkerish for considering this :-/

 

But then part of me knows that it's always better to physically bump into someone rather than sending a random text that could be read at the wrong time and then forgotten or whatever.

 

**sigh** I have different ways to possibly get back in touch with him, and I don't want to blow it by picking the wrong one. I hope that makes sense.

[spookie]

Well there's my favorite sandwich place right next to where he works; I used to eat there for lunch pretty often in the past. If I start this old habit again, I might end up bumping into him .... but I feel so weird and stalkerish for considering this :-/

 

But then part of me knows that it's always better to physically bump into someone rather than sending a random text that could be read at the wrong time and then forgotten or whatever.

 

**sigh** I have different ways to possibly get back in touch with him, and I don't want to blow it by picking the wrong one. I hope that makes sense.

 

Yup.

 

I wouldn't go the email route. As you said, they're so easy to ignore.

 

While it's somewhat stalkerish to attempt to bump into him IRL, it isn't like you're stalking him in a city you don't live in or something. I mean, you've been to this place before. Just resume your old habits, and hope for the best.

[JoeNewbie]

I personally find e-mails non-intrusive and allows people to respond whenever they have time.

 

If he doesn't feel like getting back to you, he won't. If he does, then good.

[spookie]

I personally find e-mails non-intrusive and allows people to respond whenever they have time.

 

If he doesn't feel like getting back to you, he won't. If he does, then good.

 

Sure, but if she's intent on getting back in touch with him, it's just going to seem more creepy when she starts stalking him AFTER he doesn't respond to her emails.

 

IMO cut to the chase now and go hang out at that sandwich place.

[prettybaby]

Sure, but if she's intent on getting back in touch with him, it's just going to seem more creepy when she starts stalking him AFTER he doesn't respond to her emails.

 

IMO cut to the chase now and go hang out at that sandwich place.

 

lol yeah, that's the dilemma I'm facing: if he doesn't respond to an e-mail, I'll be stuck with no more options, unless I wanna act like a total creep. He's not really a computer person, so although he has an e-mail address, there's a risk of me not getting a response and then being left to wonder whether he purposely didn't answer or if he just only checks it once every six months, etc.

 

So yeah, I don't know. We also have one common friend, but she's lost touch with him as well, so not much hope from that side.

 

Sandwich place it is then, I guess? LOL

[JoeNewbie]

lol yeah, that's the dilemma I'm facing: if he doesn't respond to an e-mail, I'll be stuck with no more options, unless I wanna act like a total creep. He's not really a computer person, so although he has an e-mail address, there's a risk of me not getting a response and then being left to wonder whether he purposely didn't answer or if he just only checks it once every six months, etc.

 

So yeah, I don't know. We also have one common friend, but she's lost touch with him as well, so not much hope from that side.

 

Sandwich place it is then, I guess? LOL

 

I personally think the sandwich place option is even creepier. How many times will go before you run into him, if ever? Nowadays people do read their e-mail and if he truly wants to get back to you, he will.

[spookie]

I personally think the sandwich place option is even creepier. How many times will go before you run into him, if ever? Nowadays people do read their e-mail and if he truly wants to get back to you, he will.

 

Yah but if he doesn't "truly" want to, what's she supposed to do?

 

Sometimes people don't "truly" know until you're there in the flesh, standing before them. Especially if they haven't seen you in a couple of years.

[JoeNewbie]

Yah but if he doesn't "truly" want to, what's she supposed to do?

 

Move on to the next guy... I see nothing wrong with giving people an easy way out. We're not trying to see a car here...

[prettybaby]

Move on to the next guy... I see nothing wrong with giving people an easy way out. We're not trying to see a car here...

I don't think I'm ready to move on to the next guy just yet. I let him go years ago to "move on to the next guy", and those relationships failed. I don't really want to go into details, but, the timing and situation just made a possible relationship between us pretty much impossible back then. So I let it go and moved on.

 

I hadn't thought about him in years, but a recent series of events just brought the past back up, and now that things are different, I realize that a possible relationship might be perfectly possible now.

 

I know, that probably sounds vague as hell and weird. I just want to give it a shot and not screw it up.

 

If you have a better idea besides e-mail / lunch place, let me know lol Any advise is welcome!

[spookie]

I just think if you did it over email, and he didn't respond, you'd be back at square one, only this time kicking yourself for making things more complicated.

 

I'd try to run into him if I could. Is there any way you can get your friend to reach out to him first instead and set up some kind of reunion if he responds?

[JoeNewbie]

I don't think I'm ready to move on to the next guy just yet.

 

You haven't seen him in years and don't even have his phone number - but yet you're not "ready" to move on to the next guy? Smells like trouble to me...

 

I guess the best thing would be to somehow track his phone number.

[prettybaby]

You haven't seen him in years and don't even have his phone number - but yet you're not "ready" to move on to the next guy? Smells like trouble to me...

 

I guess the best thing would be to somehow track his phone number.

 

I do have his phone number. But, calling would be weird, no? We haven't talked in years. I feel like, calling would be awkward lol

[prettybaby]

Is there any way you can get your friend to reach out to him first instead and set up some kind of reunion if he responds?

 

I actually thought about that. hmm

[ed-205]

I do have his phone number. But, calling would be weird, no? We haven't talked in years. I feel like, calling would be awkward lol

 

Why don't you just give him a call, and ask him to join you for lunch at the sandwich place to catch-up and talk about old times? Unless a woman left me with a lot of severely painful memories, I generally enjoy hearing from her after a while has passed.

One way or another, even a short phone conversation is going to tell you a lot more than an e-mail, and hanging out at the shop in hopes that he'll show up could be a grand waste of time if he's developed a preference for Chinese food, or eats lunch at an odd time, or brown bags, or for a hundred other reasons.

[prettybaby]

^^ I guess that's an option. Although he may find it weird that I kept his phone number for all those years ... lol

[JoeNewbie]

I'd definitely call him.

 

Good luck.