WiseOne1 Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 In my case I dont know how to feel, and I got confused feelings. So me and my ex have been on NC for about 5 days. She calls and tells me how much she misses me, and missed me during NC. She then got really really jealous and started freaking out when I told her I was dating someone else. She says she know she made a mistake in the way she treated me, and she says she should have treated me much better. She says that she wish she had never broke up with me, and that if she didnt we would have something special right now. She also says that she broke up with me out of fear, that I would just be another guy to hurt her, "CALIGUY" was right, she admitted that she had been slowly detaching herself from the relationship the whole time. She says she has a new bf now, and would never want to hurt him. ^^^Instead of making me feel better, All this did was make me mad. And I told her well you surely didnt think twice about hurting me. All this confession of hers is making me like, she ****ed over me, like yea your a good guy, but I ****ed over you. ON PURPOSE Would this little confession of hers make you feel better or worse?
0hpenelope Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 Worse. But in an angry way. She's had a bf and now that you're making attempts at moving on, she freaks out? Really? What's with the self-entitlement note she's singing now? You stood your ground. I think this was brilliant, by the way: And I told her well you surely didnt think twice about hurting me.You called her out on her detaching from you slowly when, in fact, she should've been communicating with you her fears and worries. Stand firm and if you want her back in your life (as a friend, as a boyfriend, or any personal connections), make sure she earns that chance.
Author WiseOne1 Posted September 14, 2008 Author Posted September 14, 2008 We've been talking today, and all she did was ask me about my female friend 24/7 it was aggravating, I told her to stop talkign about her, but thats all she did. She says "I'm happy that she loves you" she says that same line over and over. And then she tries to brag about her new BF
0hpenelope Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 We've been talking today, and all she did was ask me about my female friend 24/7 it was aggravating, I told her to stop talkign about her, but thats all she did. She says "I'm happy that she loves you" she says that same line over and over. And then she tries to brag about her new BF She's deluding herself. That's such a typical copout: she's deluding herself in taking the martyr complex way. She's not happy that female friend loves you (completely unreasonable - your female friend's new, right? How can either of you love each other already?), she's taking notes, comparing your new female friend with herself, etc. She's mentioning her new BF to make you jealous and to make herself feel better: that it's not just you who has someone. So... this begs the question, good sir: why are you still in contact with her? I may have read your original thread already, but I hope you'll understand it when I say I can't remember.
cybersister Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 sounds to me like she does not know what she wants right now. She wants you for herself but to keep her options open. Who wouldn't. But this is not being fair.Suggest longer NC for her to sort herself out a little. Actually maybe both of you- you are seeing someone else- If ex wanted you back seriously , where would that leave your new GF? maybe you are in the same zone as her? reminds me of when I separated from my H. He wanted time and space to reinvent himself. I moved out- we agreed on 3 months separation. 2 months in he told me he did not rule out dating someone else in that time, if he were asked. That really got my goat as I had not been seeing anyone else. So the same week I went on line and started dating. With hindsight that move on my part may have been the final nail in the coffin- it seemed he wanted it all ways with me just sitting on the sidelines waiting for him to decide. And I was not having that. I think looking back that was the excuse I needed to end it, with it looking like it was coming from him . Break ups are confusing times. Good luck
Author WiseOne1 Posted September 14, 2008 Author Posted September 14, 2008 0hpenelope, Well me and her were best best friends for 5 years before we started dating, so instead of kicking her to the curb like I did a past ex, I have more pastience with her. And She surely doesnt seem to be happy that my new friend loves me. 3 Months ago I told her I had a new GF "during the time I was just playing", and she started crying and said she loved me, she even went as far as saying lets get back together, but then she changed her mind once she seen I was still on her string. She bassically becomes very very jealous when I tell her im talking to someone new, once time she cursed me out for about 3 hours str8. ___________________________________________________________ cybersister - Well if I found someone that was special to me, and I really felt like we had a connection, NO, she would be SOL. I Told her many times, that im one of the most sexiest guys that ever lived, I should be in the magazine next to Tom Cruise, I told her you expected me to wait around? Lol Enough EGO.
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