samueltrece Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 I'm a high school male who is having problems. I need real friends. all my "friends" don't truly care about me. all they want to do is play video games and never talk. But often i need to talk things out but they don't care. I have tried having friends who are girls since they tend to be more sensitive and maybe they would care about me. I just need some ideas on how to meet some real friends.
plrs199 Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 How have the friendships with girls worked out?
hendersongirl Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 I know it's cliched but join a club or find a part-time job! Seriously, my best friends at high school were all from the drama club I was in, long hours at rehearsals bring you closer. If you hate drama club people (fair enough... lol) then try something else you like. I met heaps of mates through working at a supermarket while at school. Then again while at uni. The times between customers, skiving off checkouts together, spraying each other with cleaning fluid, we had heaps of fun the bunch of us. Supermarkets aren't even the best, try a music store or a book store, whatever your interests are. Sorry, I'm not a guy so it's probably harder, but I have had close guy mates and they were from clubs and jobs.
YoungDiva Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Try Internet, I'm sure you can meet lots of interesting people from your city (if you're not interested in instant messaging) online:)
Ronni_W Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 all my "friends" don't truly care about me. all they want to do is play video games and never talk. But often i need to talk things out but they don't care. ST, Another possibility is that they DO care, but they don't have the necessary wisdom, insight and skills to help you with what you need to talk about. Cos let's face it, people whose social lives revolve around video games really aren't displaying too much mental OR emotional maturity, are they? So, possibly it's not that they don't care about you as much as you have simply matured ahead of their own development and it's just not matching up as to what you want and need versus what they want and need. Depending on what it is that is troubling you, I would suggest that you do that smart thing for yourself and find a professional with whom to discuss your important matters. Perhaps a school counselor or family doctor? It is misguided to believe that friendship means having to act like someone else's counselor. Yes, there ought to be some time devoted to sharing on a more personal level and brainstorming general problems BUT specific or more major problems deserve professional guidance and support. The other thing to consider is that our own problems are our own problems. Expecting our friends to want to take on the role of our therapist is unreasonable and unrealistic. And it usually backfires because... 1. They don't know how to help, so they end up feeling incompetent and inadequate as people and as if they've let us down. They then end up withdrawing from us because they start to see it as us making them feel like that. 2. They listen and listen, but we don't get the proper (professional) help that we need to truly resolve our issues...so we still feel the need to talk and talk. And they end up just totally bored, exhausted and frustrated from us always wanting to talk about the SAME stuff with no end in sight. I honestly would stop telling myself that my friends don't care about me, and start trying to figure out what and how much I am giving to the relationships in relation to what I am expecting out of it. (Sometimes we engage in self-defeating habits without even realizing it.) Best of luck.
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