taylor3205 Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 We split up for various reasons 9 months ago, been together 10 years. He has dated in that peroid but nothing has worked out because he was doing it for all the wrong reasons he said. We have had our ups and downs like everybody else. He has recently started visiting me, I am in a very bad way atm, I took the break up very hard and feel suicidal at the moment. I was depressed before we split up (which is part of the reason really) and even more so now. I have no interest in any1 else. He said all he can offer is friendship at the moment, doesent know if he will want me back, but still has feelings for me. He is prepared to go to counselling with me and see what happens. He knows exactly how I feel about everything. He wants me to get help but says I have to do it for me and not just to get back with him. I am due to move in a week to a total different part of the country, however he will travel to see me if I do move. But I dont really want to. Im meant to be going uni as a mature student, however another thing on my mind is that my accomodation is in the worst area of manchester (longsight), gangs, gun crime etc I dont think I can cope anymore round here if things dont work out with him as its too small a place and im constantly reminded. I hate where I am living now though, its in middle of nowhere with very little in way of public transport and I have just lost my driving license so Im isolated, hardly ever see anyone anymore. Its all or nothing really. If I stay and it dont work out then I will literally go to pieces. If I go, it prob wont work anyway because of the distance between us and theres also the fact of where Im moving too (should have done my research into the area first). I just dont know what to do. He has been visiting me once a week for a few weeks now and is continuing to do so. We speak almost everyday too. I am till totally in love with him. Im lost and feel like I cant win either way. I guess its all or nothing. Opinions?
Author taylor3205 Posted September 13, 2008 Author Posted September 13, 2008 I also asked him if I was seeing someone else would he still want to be friends? He said he didnt know.
0hpenelope Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 I think you already have your answer right here. He said all he can offer is friendship at the moment, doesent know if he will want me back, but still has feelings for me. He is prepared to go to counselling with me and see what happens. He knows exactly how I feel about everything. He wants me to get help but says I have to do it for me and not just to get back with him. I hope you won't settle for a wishy-washy position. You deserve better than that. Unless he specifically says "I miss you, let's try this again" or some variation of that sentiment, I think you should focus on working on that depression without him. People will come and go and you're the only one who will stay to help yourself out. If you think staying in Light Contact with him is helping you, then maintain it. I don't think it's healthy, in my opinion... you've said that you'd literally go to pieces if it doesn't work out. No person on this planet is worth committing suicide for. Every life is precious... I like how you have plans for university! That's a good sign. It's a great way to open up to new experiences and to meet new people. Best of luck, ok? And I really hope you focus on getting better and getting out of depression. It's a painful, painful disease to have.
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