EmperorR Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 So after 3 years, my gf suddenly out of the blue breaks up with me, and says she doesn't love me anymore then it suddenly goes from she doesn't love me anymore to only love me a 4.0 out of ten. And how she doesn't want us anymore and wants to be friends. I was weak and dumb and wrote her all these poems expressing my feelings and gave her a card and she kissed me just a little peck, yes i know i was a idiot for going to see her again. It's been just a week since we broke up, yet every day every second I'm checking my phone, checking my email hoping praying for a text, i say i won't go on msn or yahoo messenger then what do you know im on there, talking to her. Already she tells me she has a crush on some guy at her university, while im here crying every day in my pillow feeling like crap, shes feeling butterflies in her stomach for some guy. I know its just the feeling of meeting someone new etc. cuz she hasn't experienced that in 3 years. I tried the NC thing yesterday and i was so weak i came online and she messaged me are we freinds?, im so weak all i think about every day every minute is her and us, now im trying to be strong with the NC, leaving my phone at home when i go to work, unistalling msn and yahoo messenger and trying to hold out, now i know how hard it is for people giving up cigarettes and drugs etc., i just think the thing that hurts m the most is that eerything i did for her throughout the years, all the love i showed, it means nothing absolutely nothing to her, how can people be so mean how can 3 years just one day you don't feel anything about us.
sacg Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Read my posts mate. They lie, and they lie to keep options open. if she's not sure, then find the stregth to ingore her and move forward. i never took this advice, and believe me, at 39 i regret it. Im in a whole world of hurt because of it. dont hang in there to see what happens, you may not like the outcome. And trust me, they will be as nice as pie to you until the truth comes out. Look after yourself.
0hpenelope Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 When they say they're done, they're done. I think that in order to spare yourself from a world of hurt, you should start implementing changes to take away from thinking of her. You're not weak and pathetic... You're in pain and hurting. The sooner you look after your needs by realizing that she's not going to have the medication on-hand for you, the sooner you'll feel better. You're the only one who can make yourself feel good again. Go NC and stick with NC.
sacg Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Those are wise words, and if you can do it, good luck. I couldnt, i needed answers, i needed an explanation, and it wasnt forthcoming. I had to work at it, stay in contact, i think it was an intuition, i knew it, so i pursued. And i got what i didnt really want to accept. she lied to me and she left me for someone else. but i always knew that inside i think, and i think if she'd have told me sooner, i could have gotten to where i am now, ****ing angry and shocked. look deep for that anger, look deep at what they have done and how they are now acting.
Gere51 Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Of course, she just had to give you the "let's be friends" thing, which I've never understood how anyone that ends a relationship can realistically believe you can just switch over and be buddies. Same thing happened to me last May until I finally got mad at myself for falling into that trap and cut off all contact. It's going to be hard for you, but do yourself a big favor and do not stay in contact with her at all.
Eve Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Already she tells me she has a crush on some guy at her university, while im here crying every day in my pillow feeling like crap, shes feeling butterflies in her stomach for some guy. I know its just the feeling of meeting someone new etc. I think that you are in a form of shock. Give yourself a time limit in which you can really think over your past relationship. Try and take something from those memories to keep that you will include in your future relationships - this could be a saying which you shared, a favourite meal, a song. Treasure whatever you choose to keep but protect your heart. In time the feelings will subside and you will move on. Stay close to friends who really know you and build new interests. One day you will meet someone new and you will have the opportunity to love again. I would not advise listening to the changes that your ex is experiencing romantically. That is too much to ask of you and shows a lack of respect. I dont know where your anger is right now but I would say that it is ok for you to be angry whilst you work things out in your own mind. Your lack of anger could be allowing your ex to treat your very tender feelings with little sympathy at the moment. Of course, I not advocating that you be nasty to her. Just dont be a doormat. All the very best, Eve xx
wayfaerer1 Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Listen to these guys. I'm going through the same thing dude - my girl of almost 4 years broke up with me because she had a change of heart. I tried going along with the "lets be friends" crap, but it only makes the pain worse, because you'll always think there's hope. Cut the contact, if she wants you, she'll make it known.
Author EmperorR Posted September 13, 2008 Author Posted September 13, 2008 Listen to these guys. I'm going through the same thing dude - my girl of almost 4 years broke up with me because she had a change of heart. I tried going along with the "lets be friends" crap, but it only makes the pain worse, because you'll always think there's hope. Cut the contact, if she wants you, she'll make it known. yup im starting cutting out today even though im constanly checking my phone etc. , i dont know what to do i don't think ill ever allow anyone to get that close to me again i got burnt, whats worse she knew my whole family, all my friends we were suppose to get married in a few years now i feel like a schmuck what's worse she was my only really close friend bsidess being my gf, we did every thing together everything, i don't even remember my life before her, now im just here all alone, whats worse i told my family etc. that it was a amicable split, because i dont have the courage to say that the woman i loved with all my heart, spent so much time with, bought so m uch cards flowers, wrote poems for feels nothing about me and dumped me Some part of me wishes she just go out this guy, just to know what lost
CherishG Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 I am truly feeling you EmperoR. I'm going through it myself, fresh from a break up less than 2wks ago. It's the most painful, most heart wrenching feeling anyone could ever feel. I literally feel like I'm drowning, that I can't breathe or come up for air. Some moments in the day, I lose it. Something or anything to remind me of him, whether I want it to happen or not, it KILLS ME. The tears seems to multiply as each day passes, the NC is completely taking over me. I know how u feel when u stare at ur cell phone waiting for that call, or text, even though u kno deep down inside, you shouldn't be waiting or expecting. How could they throw everything away and never look back? I ask myself this everyday, and I try to stay strong but it's soo hard. Everyone says that it takes time, things will get better... but everyone's different, that's all I have to strive for I guess.
WiseOne1 Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 yup im starting cutting out today even though im constanly checking my phone etc. , i dont know what to do i don't think ill ever allow anyone to get that close to me again i got burnt, whats worse she knew my whole family, all my friends we were suppose to get married in a few years now i feel like a schmuck what's worse she was my only really close friend bsidess being my gf, we did every thing together everything, i don't even remember my life before her, now im just here all alone, whats worse i told my family etc. that it was a amicable split, because i dont have the courage to say that the woman i loved with all my heart, spent so much time with, bought so m uch cards flowers, wrote poems for feels nothing about me and dumped me Some part of me wishes she just go out this guy, just to know what lost Im gonna shed the truth for you. These people are 100% cowards, the whole time while your in a relationship, there already moving on. They dont have the guts to break up with you while they are unsure. There so selfish that they'd rather tag you alone until they can become emotionally stable. You and your GF dated 2 years, shes knew this guy longggg before, or even shes had a person is her sights for along time. Shes probably been moving on for the last year of the relationship while you were staying the same. People ask all the time why can people just get up and move on easily, its because they've got ahead start on you. They dont move on until there absolutley sure they have no more feelings and everything is gonna work out with there new BF or GF. Bassically like me and "CaliGuy" says, she had been emotionally detached from the relationship. Now I know what your thinking, your thinking that I know her better than anyone here on LS does? NO NO NO, not true, staying in contact will do you no good! Trying to prove to her that you love her alot will do you no good! Being her friend will do you no good! You need to go NC, because if her and this dude does hook up, the sex stories and dating stories is all you gonna hear from her, and your thinking why would a ex GF tell her EX BF that kind of stuff huh? Well look on other threads and post, for somereason they feel free to tell you about whats happening with the new relationship, who knows why. I've been thru this all before, and I know your hurting very badly, and sometimes you may wonder on what you can do to get her back or make her change her mind, theres nothing you can do! If she wants you' she'll find you, until then disappear.
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