Short version of looking for wisdom (I really need some guidance)

[Konfuzion]

Things were looking up for us so I though we had just moved into a new home and we are locked into a year long lease which neither one of us can afford alone, the children are doing good and they are happy.We have been together for 4 years at this point. We had been in this house for 2 weeks when she dropped the news that she could not be in this relationship anymore my jaw about hit the floor (note we had just got home from a date at a 4 star restaurant) she told me that she doesn't love me anymore and that she wants her freedom back. But she is sending me tons of mixed messages, she still calls me honey or babe small things make her cry and when I ask why she is crying she says she doesn't want to hurt me.

 

Here is where I need the help, she doesn't want to drop me and the children like a sack of potatoes and due to this lease we are locked into for a year I think the only option for us is to live together, so that is what we have been doing for a week now and boy is it hard on me. I just keep telling myself I have been here before and got threw it and I can do it again and that everything in life happens for a reason and there is always something better waiting on the other side. She has told me that when we do move apart that she wants to be active in the childrens life as she is the person they call Mom and she loves them. So in all of this there isnt any hard feelings, the two of us are getting along well except that we are both a little sad, she says shes sad cause she knows she is hurting me and that she doesn't want too. I should also mention now she has admitted commitment issues and I think that is part of the reason for the break up. I need advice on how to "be" in this house in a way that will be attractive and have her possibly rethink this breakup

 

What I have done so far is...

I put a flower on her desk every morning, and she always thanks me for it.

I am giving her space, and trying not to be too intrested in what she is doing.

I have told her a few times that I love her, and that I miss her. (I have stopped doing this).

I sat her down one time and told her I will only tell you this once "I would like another chance" (God I wish I didnt do this...)

and I think thats about it.

 

I would love any and all advice, just so you all know moving apart really isnt an opption (so dont advise that)

[sacg]

I dont want to be cruel or heartless, but i think your in trouble mate. you need to really sit down and talk, and see if there's anything left. im sorry to be negative. maybe you have a chance, but little gestures aint gonna do it. You really need to talk, and talk openly and honestly and form a path that works for you both.

 

looks like she's already planning out what it will be like when you split, sorry.

 

Good luck