flc Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 A couple of weeks ago the women I was seeing for a couple of months informed me by phone that she was not ready for a relationship and no she did not want to see me to talk about it as it would be too hard on both of us. Ouch, so I spend a couple of days being bummed out (I really liked her) and start focusing on other things. So I have no further contact with her until last week on Friday she sends me an email. At that time Ike was heading our way and she just hoped I would be safe. I replied the same and told her if she needed any help she could call. Ike missed us and that was that. Now today she sends me another e-mail saying Hi and that she thinks about me every day and still misses me. I reply that I think about her and miss her too but it is in her control and she doesn't have to miss me. No reply. So what is up, is she opening the door? Does she just want to hear that I miss her? or is it just Friday and she has nothing better to do?
carhill Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 Ego feed Hey, you could be really special and get added to her mass e-mail list
Jilly Bean Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 It could be a lot of things. 1 - she regrets her decision, and is trying to feel you out 2 - she feels guilty about the abrupt break-up, and is trying to find out if you are upset 3 - she wants to know that you still want her
Author flc Posted September 12, 2008 Author Posted September 12, 2008 The ego feed I just don't get? Are people really that callus or is it subconscience? She knows I didn't want to break up but I don't waste energy on being upset. Well I opened the door a bit but she has to walk through. I plan to not intiate any of the contact.
carhill Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 Are people really that callus or is it subconscience? No, women are sweet and gentle creatures who only have your best interests at heart.... Seriously, A couple of weeks ago the woman I was seeing for a couple of months informed me ****by phone**** that she was not ready for a relationship and no she did not want to see me to talk about it as it would be too hard on both of us. are you nuts for even considering this issue? That sounds like something I would've done back during my "I'm a virgin and so desperately don't wanna be anymore" period
Green Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 So ladies tell me whats up? theres your first problem right there!
Balthazar Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 This is one classy broad. She broke up with you over the phone and now wants you to jump through some hoops. Abort! Even if you get back together, this chick is no good; and you know it! CHeers,
Author flc Posted September 12, 2008 Author Posted September 12, 2008 Guys, no matter what happens to be me I don't let it influence my outlook on things. I prefer to start out believing that people are generally good, not selfish and want to do the right thing. I am not naive and I don't let people take advantage of me and you only get two chances not three. But if people behave badly that is their problem not mine. I try to always be optimistic and have fun and in most cases things always work out. Going through life cynical, bitter and jaded is not my style.
audrey_1 Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 She broke up with you over the phone and now wants you to jump through some hoops. Abort! Even if you get back together, this chick is no good; and you know it! I have a question about this, though. I just asked someone who kept me "casual" for a year that we not spend any more time together...via text message. You know why? Because I didn't owe him a phone call or an in person convo about the topic. I realized I had fallen in love with someone who was not going to reciprocate. Why should I *jump through hoops* to communicate with him at my expense?? Or would this be considered differently?
carhill Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 Hmmm.....seeing him in person to tell him "would be too hard on us" might be one clue, if taken at face value. Doesn't sound "casual" to me. OP, was your dating period with this woman non-intimate? Or, if intimate, "casual", as in no concerns or interest in a future together? Perhaps I might change my mind
Balthazar Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 I have a question about this, though. I just asked someone who kept me "casual" for a year that we not spend any more time together...via text message. You know why? Because I didn't owe him a phone call or an in person convo about the topic. I realized I had fallen in love with someone who was not going to reciprocate. Why should I *jump through hoops* to communicate with him at my expense?? Or would this be considered differently? The OP doesn't give the info we need for such inferences. He says they were going out for 2 months. They have probably been intimate. After all, 2 months is pretty long. If I were going out with someone for 2 months, I would break up in person.
Author flc Posted September 12, 2008 Author Posted September 12, 2008 The relationship was intimate and not meeting to end it was a WTF moment. No discussions about future plans beyond what was currently happening which seemed good and positive, no hints of trouble. But who really knows why people do what they do. I was confused when it happened and I am still a bit bewildered, but it is not the end of the world. I do know there was no way she was seeing anyone during the time we were together there was just no time. Now maybe she met someone and ended for that reason, again who knows, but why e-mail me then?
carhill Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 See that object approaching rapidly? That's the ground Pull the cord now and save yourself. It sounds like you have all the facts but just don't want to wrap your mind around them. Let me help.... You were intimate. Things were good. There was no discernible bad. She didn't want a relationship. She called you to tell you that. You don't have a relationship. She e-mails you asking how you are and then another telling you she misses you. Remember, this is someone who rode your private member and whispered little memorables in your ear. Do you need our help further here? Yes, people are generally good. Even good people do hurtful things. Hurtful things have consequences. Your silence is one of them.
melodymatters Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 See that object approaching rapidly? That's the ground Pull the cord now and save yourself. It sounds like you have all the facts but just don't want to wrap your mind around them. Let me help.... You were intimate. Things were good. There was no discernible bad. She didn't want a relationship. She called you to tell you that. You don't have a relationship. She e-mails you asking how you are and then another telling you she misses you. Remember, this is someone who rode your private member and whispered little memorables in your ear. Do you need our help further here? Yes, people are generally good. Even good people do hurtful things. Hurtful things have consequences. Your silence is one of them. HA ! Good post carhill ! I wholeheartedly agree OP !
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