Trialbyfire Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 You ladies might want to look at the advice I gave her.
vonerik012 Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 At some point, they are one and the same. I generally stay out of SG's threads because they follow a similar pattern: SG posts something about a guy that is giving her that "something's not quite right" feeling. Many posters jump in to affirm her feeling, at which point SG does an abrupt about-face and begins to defend the guy and chastises anyone who does not support her new position. SG has expressed an interest in establishing a meaningful LTR (possible marriage with "the one"), yet continues to sabotage her own efforts on this front. I am not sure how it helps to enable her, yet each thread seems to follow the same evolution. Over time, those posters who "see clearly" drop out and SG is left only with an inner core of "supporters" who further validate her views. It beats me how this is help. Bold part= Exactly...
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 You ladies might want to look at the advice I gave her. Oops, I didn't even see that, way back on the first page! So the consensus, then, is to run! I hope you are running, SG!
djhall Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 The antagonism expressed in the last few pages of this thread seems vastly overblown. The guy screwed up. A date went well and he missed a 10PM phone call. He also sent an embarassing text to the wrong person by mistake and was less than suave in explaining what happened. Okay, not a good start, but certainly not justication for all the derision and hostility that has been expressed toward him. He shouldn't have missed a call he said he would make, but dating other people, sending them texts, making mistakes, and not being smooth about it are not horrible offenses. SG is catching a bunch of crap for giving the guy a second chance to make a good impression. We're talking about a first date here. Maybe the guy is really a great guy who got off to a bad start. Maybe not. How else are you going to find out if you don't even give the guy a chance to shine on a first date? Even if it isn't a great idea, so what? Going on a first date and then deciding the person isn't really right for you is pretty standard stuff and no one is going to be emotionally devastated if it happens. If SG had refused to give the guy a chance at a first date over this, pages of negative posts would have followed about how SG was unfairly hard on men, how the guy made a mistake and didn't deserve to be written off like that, how unreasonable her standards are, and how she complains about the men she dates but then writes off perfectly nice guys for stupid reasons.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 The antagonism expressed in the last few pages of this thread seems vastly overblown. The guy screwed up. A date went well and he missed a 10PM phone call. He also sent an embarassing text to the wrong person by mistake and was less than suave in explaining what happened. Okay, not a good start, but certainly not justication for all the derision and hostility that has been expressed toward him. He shouldn't have missed a call he said he would make, but dating other people, sending them texts, making mistakes, and not being smooth about it are not horrible offenses. SG is catching a bunch of crap for giving the guy a second chance to make a good impression. We're talking about a first date here. Maybe the guy is really a great guy who got off to a bad start. Maybe not. How else are you going to find out if you don't even give the guy a chance to shine on a first date? Even if it isn't a great idea, so what? Going on a first date and then deciding the person isn't really right for you is pretty standard stuff and no one is going to be emotionally devastated if it happens. If SG had refused to give the guy a chance at a first date over this, pages of negative posts would have followed about how SG was unfairly hard on men, how the guy made a mistake and didn't deserve to be written off like that, how unreasonable her standards are, and how she complains about the men she dates but then writes off perfectly nice guys for stupid reasons. I agree with this. It seems like eveyone is making a mountain out of a molehill here. Star, why not give the guy a second chance if you have some interest? You are still dating other people. It's not like you are investing in a relationship with someone who has another gf or something. I think the guy made a big gaffe with the wrong text and the over explanation, and that is something to take into account, but it isn't the biggest deal in the world. My level of interest would drop after this, but I might still give him a chance.
vonerik012 Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Give him a chance? Does he really care? He had a wonderful night with another woman just yesterday after blowing her off , that he "wants to see badly" . What is the end goal to go out with him? Maybe get lucky and be able to have sex with him? Read the text he wrote the other woman.
Author Star Gazer Posted September 14, 2008 Author Posted September 14, 2008 He no longer wishes to see the other girl badly, as she asked him to meet her parents as soon as she received his text. Literally. Freaked him out. Would freak me out too. *shrug* I'll keep how it goes to myself.
Author Star Gazer Posted September 14, 2008 Author Posted September 14, 2008 Going out with him tonight? Nope. Im not saying that you should be a priority to him before ever having a first date (or vice versa), but you deserve to not be disrespected by having a guy tell you in detail about how he is enjoying the company of another woman and his dating plans with her. Again, this was PAST tense. He told me he HAD a good time on the date. He did not tell me about his future plans with her. Actually, quite the opposite. You're really making a mountain out of a molehill. Ok but this guy hasn't done any of that! He explained that he had a fun date because he was explaining the text he wasn't "throwing" anything in her face Precisely! Are we honestly interested in helping out SG, or are we more interested in expressing our personal views about SG? What motivates each and every one of us? I can see a few negative opinions who aren't making personal attacks (limited thus far to JB and OB), but the rest are thinly veiled attempts to attack my character rather than do anything helpful. (Who the hell sends a text to the wrong person, anyway? In order to send a text, you have to either a) type in the person's phone number, or b) select their name from your address book. I've been texting since I was a teenager and have NEVER sent one to the wrong person before, unless it was purposeful! No, you can also send a text to the wrong person by responding to someone's text...which is quite possible when he's receiving slightly flirty texts from two women who have the same first name. Like I said, I accidentally sent a text to the wrong "Pat" last week! It happens! It shouldn't warrant the guy getting pilloried! At some point, they are one and the same. I generally stay out of SG's threads because they follow a similar pattern: SG posts something about a guy that is giving her that "something's not quite right" feeling. Many posters jump in to affirm her feeling, at which point SG does an abrupt about-face and begins to defend the guy and chastises anyone who does not support her new position. SG has expressed an interest in establishing a meaningful LTR (possible marriage with "the one"), yet continues to sabotage her own efforts on this front. I am not sure how it helps to enable her, yet each thread seems to follow the same evolution. Over time, those posters who "see clearly" drop out and SG is left only with an inner core of "supporters" who further validate her views. It beats me how this is help. I agree with the pattern to an extent. The reason why I usually pull a 180 to defend whomever I'm referring to is because a complaint such as, "He grabbed my boob while at his house," goes from, "Well, that wasn't cool, move on!" type responses (which I would and do agree with!) to waaaaaaaaaaaaay overblown responses such as, "OMG, he's an abusing control freak, he's going to end up locking his future wife in a closet and beating her, just mark my words!!!" (from the women) and "Well, you're a slut for going to his house to begin with, what did you think would happen, he expected nothing but sex from someone like you!" (from the men). Under those circumstances, a simple situation is twisted into something where the specific dude needs defending. See what I mean? The antagonism expressed in the last few pages of this thread seems vastly overblown. The guy screwed up. A date went well and he missed a 10PM phone call. He also sent an embarassing text to the wrong person by mistake and was less than suave in explaining what happened. Okay, not a good start, but certainly not justication for all the derision and hostility that has been expressed toward him. He shouldn't have missed a call he said he would make, but dating other people, sending them texts, making mistakes, and not being smooth about it are not horrible offenses. SG is catching a bunch of crap for giving the guy a second chance to make a good impression. We're talking about a first date here. Maybe the guy is really a great guy who got off to a bad start. Maybe not. How else are you going to find out if you don't even give the guy a chance to shine on a first date? Even if it isn't a great idea, so what? Going on a first date and then deciding the person isn't really right for you is pretty standard stuff and no one is going to be emotionally devastated if it happens. If SG had refused to give the guy a chance at a first date over this, pages of negative posts would have followed about how SG was unfairly hard on men, how the guy made a mistake and didn't deserve to be written off like that, how unreasonable her standards are, and how she complains about the men she dates but then writes off perfectly nice guys for stupid reasons. All great points. I'm also curious why the first few posts where it's said that he should be embarrassed (which he was), but not considered a playa, have been ignored. I agree with this. It seems like eveyone is making a mountain out of a molehill here. Star, why not give the guy a second chance if you have some interest? You are still dating other people. It's not like you are investing in a relationship with someone who has another gf or something. I think the guy made a big gaffe with the wrong text and the over explanation, and that is something to take into account, but it isn't the biggest deal in the world. My level of interest would drop after this, but I might still give him a chance. That's the plan.
Trimmer Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 Sorry, got your dates mixed up, I thought Dave was the best-date-ever/butterflies guy. That's the guy I meant. Crestfallen, best-date-ever guy is different from inept guy. Unless I'm also confused, which wouldn't be a first in Star's threads. I think we need to assign each one a serial number, or perhaps barcodes would be better... Who says I'm even interested? Hmmm... Apparently you were after all: Well, he explained himself well... So I accepted a dinner invite for Sunday. We'll see.
Trialbyfire Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 I think we need to assign each one a serial number, or perhaps barcodes would be better... Imagine swiping them through the grocery line up. Beep, beep, beep, beep.
Trimmer Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 Imagine swiping them through the grocery line up. Beep, beep, beep, beep. beep. beep. beep. buuuuuum. "Oh damn - this one's not in the system yet..."
Trialbyfire Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 beep. beep. beep. buuuuuum. "Oh damn - this one's not in the system yet..." :lmao:
Trimmer Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 That's not very nice. Sorry Sweetie - all meant in good fun. I'm just jealous that I don't have a similar list of dating options myself. I should be so lucky (and clearly I'm not...)
rod_in_gtown Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 I'll keep how it goes to myself. But but but but... how am I going to live vicariously through you if you keep it to yourself?
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