Crestfallen_KH Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 Personally, I would have wished him well and moved on from that... Yep, ditto that!
Author Star Gazer Posted September 12, 2008 Author Posted September 12, 2008 Star - why are you interested in a guy who has already told you that you are back burner material while he is out romancing his number one choice - the woman that he shared great detail with about what a great time they had and how into her he is? Personally, I would have wished him well and moved on from that... Um, I did. Who says I'm even interested? Who says I'm the one on the back burner? Would he be BEGGING if I were THAT far behind? I find this entire situation very amusing. No drama here, so let's not turn it into that, k?
Crestfallen_KH Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 Who says I'm even interested? Um, you did! Didn't you just write a few posts up that you're "much more interested in best-date-ever guy"? Unless I'm getting mixed up too...
Trialbyfire Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 Crestfallen, best-date-ever guy is different from inept guy. Unless I'm also confused, which wouldn't be a first in Star's threads.
Crestfallen_KH Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 Crestfallen, best-date-ever guy is different from inept guy. Unless I'm also confused, which wouldn't be a first in Star's threads. Ha! Ok, TBF, thanks for (maybe?) clearing it up! I wish I had enough guys around to confuse my fellow posters on LS...
Shygirl15 Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 Why do I have a feeling he's making it all up? All in all, I would have simply erased him.
Author Star Gazer Posted September 12, 2008 Author Posted September 12, 2008 Um, you did! Didn't you just write a few posts up that you're "much more interested in best-date-ever guy"? Unless I'm getting mixed up too... Yeah, you're confused. I haven't even been on a date yet with this guy ("Nick"). Best-date-ever guy ("Cole") and I have an interesting history that goes WAY back. Cole has done nothing wrong thus far other than have a schedule that's completely opposite mine. I dig Cole, but I think the timing is off.
Trialbyfire Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 Ha! Ok, TBF, thanks for (maybe?) clearing it up! I wish I had enough guys around to confuse my fellow posters on LS... You're possibly but not definitively welcome. The beginning of her screen name is Star. Sounds like it's for good reason.
Crestfallen_KH Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 Yeah, my confusion about this guy was that I inferred "best date ever" was in reference to his date the previous night (and how he went into detail about how great it was). Sorry I showed up late to the party and am now asking for introductions. Regardless, I think I would have just said my peace (i.e., wished him well) and then stopped talking to him. But, if you like him enough and can get over the two issues you've already raised, go for it and let us know how it turns out.
Author Star Gazer Posted September 13, 2008 Author Posted September 13, 2008 Well, he explained himself well... So I accepted a dinner invite for Sunday. We'll see.
rod_in_gtown Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Well, he explained himself well... So I accepted a dinner invite for Sunday. We'll see. Sweet! I want to hear how it goes! (god I SO belong in a sewing circle)
vonerik012 Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 He sounds like a clown.. How do you text the wrong woman? Maybe you are setting yourself up to be the time filler once again. Obviously he is into someone else. He didn't even call you when he said he would. If he was into you, he would have. Is this another online guy? Sounds like he is pretty busy online..Not too mention, it almost sounds like he was intimate with the other woman.."I want to see you again very badly"
TerryTeardrop Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 I think you are a walking contradiction. No wonder you have no luck meeting a boyfriend. This guy will never repect you as you do not respect yourself. Reasons:- 1. He never rang when he said he would 2. He then sent a text to the wrong person. (IMHO that makes him a doofus from the off) 3. He then proceeds to tell you how much he liked this girl and admits he did not call you because he had something better to do 4. He then begs you for a date 5. You then agree to date a guy who has just told you he how much he likes another girl!! Do you have any self respect? I have read a few of your threads and you always allow yourself to spend time with loosers and people who should not even be dating. You must be very desperate as he has dis-respected you and you STILL agree to go out with him. I am assuming you have no friends and are a bit desperate but that i still no reason to allow him to do this. I am here shaking my head in wonderment!
Art_Critic Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Why do I have a feeling he's making it all up? I wondered about that myself... I think he was trying to get you interested or more interested than you are now.. if he had just gone out on a first date he wouldn't have used the word " Badly " What an idiot... On a side note.. While online dating years ago I was emailing 3 women at once and having great conversations with all 3 of them.. On one morning I sent an email to one of them using another's name in the email and asking about her evening at her Mothers ( which was from the third person I was speaking too ) To which she replied : You clearly are speaking with multiple women please do not contact me again. I just got busy and mixed all of them up and made a huge mistake..
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 I wondered about that myself... I think he was trying to get you interested or more interested than you are now.. if he had just gone out on a first date he wouldn't have used the word " Badly " What an idiot... On a side note.. While online dating years ago I was emailing 3 women at once and having great conversations with all 3 of them.. On one morning I sent an email to one of them using another's name in the email and asking about her evening at her Mothers ( which was from the third person I was speaking too ) To which she replied : You clearly are speaking with multiple women please do not contact me again. I just got busy and mixed all of them up and made a huge mistake.. Honestly, what did she expect? Of course you were talking to multiple women when online dating. Isn't that kind of the way it goes?
Art_Critic Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Honestly, what did she expect? Of course you were talking to multiple women when online dating. Isn't that kind of the way it goes? I know.. I do think in reality people know that we are talking to others but to have it hit you smack in the face can be hard to face... It was embarrassing on my part.. but I was like " oh well ".. I just learned about juggling and emailing and how they really aren't compatible with working long hours
2sunny Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 SG- why did you decide to go out with him again? that makes no sense to me. it looks like you are ok with being low on the priority list to this guy. who cares if it was a real text or a game. even if it was a game- that would make it just as bad. i don't like games. you need to be better to yourself than this. i'd call and tell him that it just won't work.
OpenBook Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 I smell a rat. I think the whole thing was a ploy deliberately enacted on his part, to get you interested. He probably read in a book somewhere, that the way to get a girl interested in you is to act like a playa. And apparently, it worked! You're intrigued with him.
Author Star Gazer Posted September 13, 2008 Author Posted September 13, 2008 He sounds like a clown.. How do you text the wrong woman? We have the same first name, and he doesn't know my last name (unless a friend told him). He had both of our most recent texts in his phone, and responded to the wrong one. I have to admit... I accidentally did the same thing last week to someone else. Luckily it was an innocent text, but still... it happens. Maybe you are setting yourself up to be the time filler once again. Obviously he is into someone else. He didn't even call you when he said he would. If he was into you, he would have. He was on a date, that's why he didn't call. It's not like he was sitting at home scratching his butt and not calling. As for being a time filler, if that's how he's treating me, it's honestly no big deal. He haven't even had a date yet! Besides, I'm into someone else too. Much more so. So, if anything, this guy is MY time filler as well. Is this another online guy? Sounds like he is pretty busy online..Not too mention, it almost sounds like he was intimate with the other woman.."I want to see you again very badly" At this point it's clear you did not read the OP, and instead read what you wanted to into it, which is typical. (Stop assuming every date every person goes out on it with someone online! It's tiring!) That said, not that it matters, but no, he's not an online guy. (Well, he could be, but that's not how I met him.) I met him while out with friends last weekend. He also explained the context of "very badly." It was far from eloquent, but it satisfied me. We haven't even had a date yet. Other than making a moronic error, I'm not sure how anyone can classify the guy as so smitten with the other girl after one date and/or using me for time filling so as to make a simple DINNER with him into a ridiculous decision. Honestly, what did she expect? Of course you were talking to multiple women when online dating. Isn't that kind of the way it goes? Exactly. Even when not online dating, most likely you're going to be speaking with more than one person (or they are!). Even if you're not dating simultaneously but sequentially it's easy to mess up on things like this.
Author Star Gazer Posted September 13, 2008 Author Posted September 13, 2008 SG- why did you decide to go out with him again? that makes no sense to me. it looks like you are ok with being low on the priority list to this guy. who cares if it was a real text or a game. even if it was a game- that would make it just as bad. i don't like games. you need to be better to yourself than this. i'd call and tell him that it just won't work. I'm not going out with him AGAIN. I haven't been out with him to begin with. Of course I'm low on the priority list. We haven't even had a date yet! I would think it would be ridiculous to demand a priority position when we haven't even shared a cocktail or dinner together. Don't you? I smell a rat. I think the whole thing was a ploy deliberately enacted on his part, to get you interested. He probably read in a book somewhere, that the way to get a girl interested in you is to act like a playa. And apparently, it worked! You're intrigued with him. I really don't think he's lying or that it's a ploy. He's not a guy who has to work very hard to gain a female's attention. I'm also not intrigued. I just don't see the harm in going out on ONE date with the guy.
Jilly Bean Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 So, if you're not into him, not intrigued by him, admit that he is filler for you since you are more into some other dude, and he has explained in great detail to you how much he is into another girl and how he can't wait to have another date with her, why go out with him at all? I think that's what many of us are finding perplexing here, SG. As Sunny said, you really need to treat yourself better than this, rather than setting yourself up to have some guy walk on you. Remember, we teach people how to treat us and I think you just showed this guy all the wrong lessons. I hate to see this, really. I still vote to blow him off. You make enough money and you can buy your own dinner, girl! Don't lower yourself to be someone's distant option.
Author Star Gazer Posted September 13, 2008 Author Posted September 13, 2008 So, if you're not into him, not intrigued by him, admit that he is filler for you since you are more into some other dude, and he has explained in great detail to you how much he is into another girl and how he can't wait to have another date with her, why go out with him at all? You're ridiculously twisting this around, JB. Your interpretation is so superficial, you're starting to sound like Vonerik. Always the naysayer. How into someone, how intrigued by someone, should I - nay, CAN I! - be before I've even gone out on a date with the guy? Gimme a break! I don't know about you, but I usually decide whether or not I'm "into" someone after I've spent time with them. Not before. Besides, what's wrong with dating multiple people at once? If I can fill my life with other dates, why can't he? He didn't explain in great detail that he likes her. Far from it. He explained what a great TIME he had (it was a concert, a great DATE), that he was surprised a first date went so well and was so fun (he, like me, is used to the typical dinner date, and this was a concert), not how much he was INTO her. I read a lot into his text-messages than I shouldn't have. He sent a mistake text, and went overboard trying to compensate for it with a slew of other texts by explaining that he had a good time. Once we spoke on the phone about his mistake, everything was cool. I told him if he was excited about her, I wasn't interested. He explained that he was excited that the DATE went well, but the jury was out on the GIRL...AS IT SHOULD BE after only ONE DATE. As Sunny said, you really need to treat yourself better than this, rather than setting yourself up to have some guy walk on you. Remember, we teach people how to treat us and I think you just showed this guy all the wrong lessons. I hate to see this, really. How am I treating myself poorly? Really? By accepting a FIRST date invitation from a guy who just happened to have a date earlier in the week on Thursday that I just happened (albeit awkwardly) to know about? Are you kidding me? Am I treating HIM poorly by going out with him when I had a date earlier in the week too? Are you treated properly ONLY IF as soon as a guy meets you, he drops everyone else in his life and won't even consider coffee with another person, and makes you an absolute priority above all others before you've even had a first date? Are those your expectations? You all are SO damn negative, it's getting to the point where it's disgusting. Don't lower yourself to be someone's distant option. This is ridiculous. Explain to me why I should be a top priority before we've even had a date yet. Seriously.
Jilly Bean Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Why the majorly defensive attitude here, SG? I think I'm pretty much echoing what a lot of others seem to think about you accepting a date from this guy. If you feel convicted and good about your decision, then it can be stated without the attitude, me thinks. When you post your life and stories in an open forum, expect people to disagree with you and your actions. Not everyone will support behavior that isn't generally perceived as healthy or productive, and this happens to just about everyone who posts on here. We are all just trying to help and offer opinions of how we would react in this situation, which we assume is the point of the post. Just because it doesn't jive with your choices, isn't a reason to get so defensive and critical.
vonerik012 Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 If a girl whom was supposed to call me but blew me off to go out with another guy, then texted me the next morning "I had a great time, and I want to see you badly" while meaning to text another dude, why on Earth would I want to go out with her? Desperate?
Lizzie60 Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Okay, okay... enough about Rod. Do I accept the dinner invite, or not? Might be entertaining to see how hard he works to get into my good graces. On the other hand, knowing how much he enjoyed himself on his date last night, what if I start to like him? Hmm... If he would have been so interested in you .. he would have call the first time.. To accept an invitation for supper would show him how desperate you are to date this jerk.. IMO you are too insecure.. you might fall into his 'game'..
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