4givrnt4gtr Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 So, for the past week ive been sorta nervous that I might be pregnant. Ive got some symptoms and it freaked me out. I then started thinking about how would my bf react if i were. At the beginning of our relationship he said he would rather me have an abortion. I said that is definitely not an option. I wont make an innocent life pay for my mistakes. I then told him that since he wasnt ready to be a father, I would not tell him about a pregnancy. He laughed and said he would probably notice. I said he wouldnt because I would just dissapear. End the relationship and never tell him. He was pretty sad about that, and didnt say much more than that. I was very sure of that idea back then. But a year later Im not too sure. We've gotten pretty serious and have even talked about marriage. However, I do know that if i got pregnant outside of marriage his family will hate me forever and think i did it to trap him. As it is they are not exactly too keen on the idea of him marrying a girl outside of his culture, and they watch me like a hawk to see if what he says about me is true (that Im educated and pursuing a graduate degree). His mom even told him to wait until I finish school because many times people will start to pursue great dreams but never actually reach them. In any case, last night i told him I was feeling kinda weird and some lady had said i might be pregnant. He asked if i was still taking my bcpills and i said yes. I then asked him what he would do if i was pregnant. He laughed and said he would shoot himself. I then asked him, seriously what he would do, and whether he would want to know. He said that since i would disappear, he would know anyway. I said that what if i just broke up with him and never tell him. he said "hm yeah you could do that". I then got serious and asked him if he would like me to tell him. He said "I dont know, baby" with an "i dont want to think about that" tone. That got me kinda nervous.... Should I be with someone whom I dont know whether he would have my back if Sh** hit the fan??? Then again, he always behaves the way he should, despite what he might have said at one point...so it just gets me very confuse. Deep inside I know he would support me and help me if I tell him, yet....i dont want to feel like i tied him down... Was that a standard response? How would men feel in that situation? PS. Im not pregnant, i took a test and Im not....but still, it could happen, and id like to know that either a. i can count with the baby's father, or b. get out before i get in trouble.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 He is not ready to be a parent. Its great that he is aware of that. Simple solution seems to be not to get pregnant by him. That said, I got pregnant on BC and didn't miss a dose. So, possibly invest in a secondary form of BC. Ask him to wear a condom and he'll know you respect his decision.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted September 12, 2008 Author Posted September 12, 2008 He is not ready to be a parent. Its great that he is aware of that. Simple solution seems to be not to get pregnant by him. That said, I got pregnant on BC and didn't miss a dose. So, possibly invest in a secondary form of BC. Ask him to wear a condom and he'll know you respect his decision. Oh believe me we already do that, we have never EVER in the year we've been together had sex without condoms AND pills... My worry is that, despite our best efforts, what if i do get pregnant? can i count on him? from his response, it looks like he isnt sure...that makes me very very nervous...
2sunny Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 Oh believe me we already do that, we have never EVER in the year we've been together had sex without condoms AND pills... My worry is that, despite our best efforts, what if i do get pregnant? can i count on him? from his response, it looks like he isnt sure...that makes me very very nervous... no you can't count on him - he's made that perfectly clear. now deal with the info he's given you instead of trying to make it different than it is.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 I think if he's unwilling to put in his responsibility as a father to be ( since it takes two to have a baby), you either stop having sex altogether or break up with him. I mean to be fair, he gave his honest opinions about the issue, but his choices come off as selfish, and if you were pregnant, that would leave you burdened as a single mother. I think you need to see that despite how charming he is as a boyfriend, he would bail at the first sign of trouble. What you want is stability, not some guy who comes and goes when he pleases. Also, his parents sounds horrible, I don't understand why you put up with them.
Jazzy56 Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 Well if you are close to ending it, and you want see how he reacts, tell him you are pregnant. If you he goes goofy, you were right. If you are wrong, he is going to be really pissed, and probably break it off with you. But then you could go to a doctor a week later and say that you are pregnant, and he will test you and it will fail. The tests are not 100% accurate and I would cite that as the reason you thought you were pregnant.
Recommended Posts