amandaparker503 Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 I guess if i could i would be rich! Any way you all know i split with ex, both at fault, but i made it worse with to many texts and phone calls etc. Any way i have done over a week with no contact and i am feeling stronger. Yipee. However in such a small town with one gym(Which he sometimes works out of) i have seen him a lot. I saw him twice this week, once at his kickboxing club, once at lunch time at the gym, (he said hi) and today. I will be honest, i havent a clue when he will be at the gym and i go when i can , due to having a child. Howerver, today i knew that he was at the gym, so i went after i knew he would be gone, there i am working out and in he walks. He didnt even say hello. He looked pissed off(that is my thought). I looked over and no eye contact , so i carried on with my work out and he then Personal Trainned someone,and then i left. Now what i wanted to say was, i am Ok about the no contact,i am picking up my life and trying to move on , i refuse to give up the one thing i get a small amount of time to do and that is work out. Do you think i will just annoy him. I try at all costs to avoid him. I was thinking , do men really love you one day , then not the next. I mean i loved him for sure and i accept the break up , but i dont want to ignore him when i see him. I want to say hi. Do you think he will ever contact me again, even though i stalked him. ! I dont know what i want from him anymore, i just hate the whole everything to nothing at all. I am able to be friends, say hi, i hate being ignored. I wonder if he is finding it hard to get over me , or perhaps just closed the door and has met another. I know that it doesnt sound it , but every day i accept more and more we will never ever be, but part of me cant help live in a little hope. Sometimes i get excited at the thought of meeting someone new, but i am no way ready. I dont know, again i just come here at the moment to clear my head, rather than text or think about him. Thanks for listening.
Karma101 Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 Oh Amanda, I am sorry for your pain, and I understand it all too well. My XBF and I l were iterally together one day and the next he was confused about his pending divorce. Two days later he was back with his wife. Like you, I felt here today, gone tomorrow. Our break up was as amicable as one could hope for. I have wondered over the course of this week if it would be easier had he been mean, cruel and told me to f$*k off. I believe the pain would be exactly the same. You're not possibly ready to be friends with this man. I don't think you should hold out hope that he will ever be willing to go down that road. Not because it's an impossibility, but because it will only interfere with your own healing process. I have struggled all week with texting my XBF. Not because I think it will change our situation for one minute, but to somehow give me comfort. And yesterday, I broke down with a simple "How are you?" text. I honestly didn't think he would respond. And in my warped mind, I thought that would send me a clear message, help me move on and ensure that I don't contact him again. Guess what? He did respond. A very nice response that included "miss you", "thinking of you", etc. I don't feel better. His response does not change our situation. I guess it's nice to know that this is hard for him too, but here's the deal...He still left this relationship. That was his choice. I can't change his mind. Guess there's not much to say other than I'm right here with you, and the pain is unbearable, but I know it will subside. With time.
Trialbyfire Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 If it was a short-lived relationship, it might have been infatuation that he initially experienced, which can dissipate. If it was a long-term relationship, keep in mind that he's also going through an emotional roller coaster while trying to move on. Since you made so many attempts at contacting and reconnecting, he will continue with the belief that this could be motivating your presence, at the gym. At the end of the day, does it matter what he thinks? What matters more, is what you're attempting to accomplish and that is to get on with life without him. If going to the gym is a pleasurable experience for you, then by all means continue. If at all possible, find another gym. You owe it to yourself to maintain as much distance as possible, in order to move on. Seeing him daily can sabotage your ability to move on, no matter how determined you are to move on.
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