stillafool Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 No actually she was single, and wanted to carry on an affair, but for him it was a one time thing. They went back to her house, then he went home. And you know this to be a fact. Remember women are far more skilled at this type of thing than men.
carhill Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 What thing and where do they acquire the skill ?
stillafool Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Might be more for the closetted male celebs living in Hollywood... :lmao:I can see that! Having lived in L.A. I can tell you they already have more than they need. No, she said it is strictly for the ladies and she thinks this is the way of the future for these types of business.
misternoname Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 Is there any delineation between a singular event and those of a serial nature, with women, wrt the reasons? From my own perspective, I find singular desires to be more relational and serial desires to be more intrinsic. How is it for women? I think I know what vonerik012 is getting at but perhaps it requires further definition. Of the women I've know who were/are serial cheaters, I sincerely believe it is a feature of their character/personality, not a function of their relational dynamics. For those who have only experienced one such event, with no recurrence, the motivations, to me, appear more unclear. Anyway, back to plumbing You are 100 % correct. My wife had 4 affairs spaced out over the years. Her therapist has identified that she suffers from abandonment/low self esteem issues as a result of her screwed up upbringing. It took me a long time to understand that I really had nothing to do with her straying. I stuck with her hoping she would change on her own. BIG MISTAKE! Stuff that deep requires professional help. It's too late for us but I hope she does get "fixed" so the next guy doesn't have to suffer through the same crap I did.
stillafool Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 What thing and where do they acquire the skill ? It's innate. Most of us just chose not to use it.
Stunned_To_Disbelief Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 It seems that some would rather Hijack the thread, than try & deal with a reasonable answer to a serious question. IMO there are plenty of studies to support both sides of the rationale for cheating either way. But in terms of basic nature Men & Women are DIFFERENT, PERIOD, Sorry femminists but thats the way it is. However in human beings enlightened state we can also agree that some men are Effeminate and I suppose that these men would approach affairs like women, emotionally. Also some woman are Masculine and can just screw for sport. Now in my opinion and this can be born out by as many studies as previously noted, as well as Personal Experience, Men will have affairs for sporting reasons, women will have affairs for emotional ones. They both can also differentiate emotion from phsyical needs. Tomcat, vonerik, you both made alot of posts and didn't get very far, except to likely decide that eachother was wrong, not very productive. Also if you look at who asked the question, He's a self-described "bad boy" with a track record of treating women badly, so I'd ask is it any wonder his woman/women cheat on him. J/K The real answer is that each person has his/her own reasons for conciously cheating, low self-esteem, revenge, sport, I'm sure there are many more. Some make bad choices like getting drunk/stoned and not being completely in control of their actions. This isn't intended to lessen the damage done because cheating for whatever reason is devastating to somebody, OM/OW , SO or Family. But it serves to aknowledge that cheating is dangerous in any form & there is no RIGHT answer. Just my Two Cents
carhill Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 It's innate. Most of us just chose not to use it. Ah, guile and deceit, old friends and tenuous lovers
vonerik012 Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 Well, I can explain it like this... I own a business, and work with guys all the time. I know other male business owners, their companies, and employees. A typical conversation might go like this... "How was your weekend Joe" "Wow, met the hottest chick Friday, we are going out Thursday" Now we all know Joe has had the same girlfriend he is thinking about moving in with after 2 years of being in a serious relationship. . Nobody even asks about cheating, or how he will cover etc. It is just a given, and nobody cares that other men are cheating on their girlfriends. Repeat this over just about every other day, with a new guy , who met a new girl, who has a ltr with another girl.. They are not doing it for emotional reasons, or because their "needs are not met, or because they "feel neglected", lol. They are doing it because they can, and because it is fun. They are not even really thinking...
carhill Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 Yeah, I know male business colleagues like this as well. Their SO's trade turning a blind eye to infidelity for the perks of the lifestyle and social status they enjoy. Perhaps they are unfaithful as well, I don't know.
Kamille Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 They are not doing it for emotional reasons, or because their "needs are not met, or because they "feel neglected", lol. They are doing it because they can, and because it is fun. They are not even really thinking... interesting. And yet in other threads you blame women for all that is going downhill in today's traditionnal values and for the downfall of traditional families?
vonerik012 Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 Yeah, I know male business colleagues like this as well. Their SO's trade turning a blind eye to infidelity for the perks of the lifestyle and social status they enjoy. Perhaps they are unfaithful as well, I don't know. Thats a good point.. And I know many women that do not mind doing that at all. Marry the Ceo/doctor/executive, and turn a blind eye to cheating. However, in my opinion these women are more intelligent, than chasing the above men, and expecting them to be faithful forever. They are married to what other women want, and they have a great lifestyle due to that man, but their is a trade off. Infidelity. They realize this. Women who constantly chase and land the tall alpha male, who is wealthy, with a great career, then proclaim "All men cheat" do not realize men are as faithful as their options, in most cases.
stillafool Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 Yeah, I know male business colleagues like this as well. Their SO's trade turning a blind eye to infidelity for the perks of the lifestyle and social status they enjoy. Perhaps they are unfaithful as well, I don't know. Did it ever occur to you guys that their W's and SO's don't give a damn. Why, because they are banging the hot pool guy, UPS, FED-X, personal trainers, etc. Women have often let their husbands do as they please in order to live a rich lifestyle all the while screwing someone else on the side while still enjoying hubby's paycheck. Neither has anything to be proud of.
carhill Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 Yes, that was the "perhaps they are unfaithful as well" part. Would they be (unfaithful) if their H's weren't and, more importantly, why? Interesting question....
Walk Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 I found it interesting that the majority of people who answered the question "Why women cheat" either swear they will never cheat on their bf/H, or are not even female. In addition, at least two of the 4 studies cited (didn't research them all) were not even from reputable sources but from laymen (just like you) who do not cite their sources. Please do not believe every little thing you read on the internet without digging into their credentials. I think if you want a more accurate read on why a woman cheated, then ask women who cheated. Otherwise, all I've read in this thread were a bunch of second hand accounts (heresay), unsubstantiated articles, and made up stories of what could occur in "the real world" (veronik).
vonerik012 Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 I have asked women why they cheated. Not one ever said just because she was horny. For men, it is just a given. There is no reason to even ask, lol. and still a fool, the pool guy scenario happens in the movies far more than in real life...
stillafool Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Vonerik, just like Walk said you are a man and couldn't possibly know the reasons why women cheat. Just like I don't know what goes on in the male mind, I can only assume. Being a woman, who has (I'm sorry to say) cheated on SO's, I am more qualified to say why a woman would cheat. We have all done things in our past that we aren't proud of. I've known MW who cheat on their H's (who are wealthy and cheat) and these women don't care anymore they just want to protect their financial security. They seek affection elsewhere as do their husbands. The difference between you and me is you get all your info from the internet and my comes from real life experience.
vonerik012 Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 How would you know where I get all my information from? Because I posted a link? That means i get ALLL my information from the net? lol Then tell us why you cheated? Just on a spur of the moment whim because you were horny and had an offer?
stillafool Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Yes, that was the "perhaps they are unfaithful as well" part. Would they be (unfaithful) if their H's weren't and, more importantly, why? Interesting question.... Truthfully, I don't think the majority of them would be unfaithful if their husbands were faithful. I think at first these women are devastated by infidelity and then become immune to it. They seek affection elsewhere for their own sexual (and emotional) needs. I don't respect this decision because I feel if your husband is cheating you should leave, get a job and support yourself.
stillafool Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 How would you know where I get all my information from? Because I posted a link? That means i get ALLL my information from the net? lol Then tell us why you cheated? Just on a spur of the moment whim because you were horny and had an offer? Because all you talk about are studies and articles. I cheated because I became sexually attracted to another man, couldn't help myself and jumped on the "cheating rollercoaster" and damn near recked my life.
bish Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 My wife chetaed despite my being loving, attentive, good in bed, etc. for the simple reson that she wants attention. Oh no. that isn't going to fly with the cheater apologists here. There has to be SOMETHING you did to push her to it.....there just HAS to be! (according to the apologists...not me)
bish Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 Reasons a woman cheats on her man: 1. Her bf/husband treats her badly (yells, call names, ect). 2. Their sex life is boring or non-existant 3. She feels "feels" trapped in the relationship and wants to feel free again 4. She falls out of love with the bf/husband 5. He becomes unattractive to her 6. They "drift away" by not talking, no sex, no communication, no intimacy, spend no time together 7. Wants to feel the "rush" of a new relationship again 8. Just plain has no respect for her partner 9. Is too scared to break up with them, therefore just cheats 10. The marriage is stressful with children, therefore she feels she needs an "escape" from being a wife/mother I'm sure there are more. I've never cheated on anyone but I work with a lot of clients with no morals. damn, you sound like an affair waiting to happen with insight like that
bish Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 Because all you talk about are studies and articles. I cheated because I became sexually attracted to another man, couldn't help myself and jumped on the "cheating rollercoaster" and damn near recked my life. So if it is as simple as attraction, what is to stop you from cheating again if you get attention from a good looking guy? Does your husband/bf know?
Geishawhelk Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 I cheated because I became sexually attracted to another man, couldn't help myself and jumped on the "cheating rollercoaster" and damn near recked my life. This is utter Bull-sheet. I hate the 'Couldn't help myself'.... 'It just happened'... 'I didn't mean it' ... 'It was an accident', brigade. It's all rubbish. You had a choice, and you made it. " Shall we cheat? Yes or no?" "Hmmmmm....ok, yes!" People can help themselves. It's just more hard work than they're prepared to invest.
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 Because all you talk about are studies and articles. I cheated because I became sexually attracted to another man, couldn't help myself and jumped on the "cheating rollercoaster" and damn near recked my life. Sounds like a combination of selfishness and a lack of discipline.
bish Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 This is utter Bull-sheet. I hate the 'Couldn't help myself'.... 'It just happened'... 'I didn't mean it' ... 'It was an accident', brigade. LOL, very good. It is my dream that all the cheaters get together, maybe on a continent of their own, and they can "just happen" and not "mean it" and have accidents til their hearts are content.
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