motive2002 Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 So here's my top 5 list... in no particular order. 1. I don't have to move to Missouri. No offense to you mid-westeners, but that place sucks! 2. I don't have to be step dad to a 2-year old. Ok I know there's probably a ton of benefits to being a step-parent, but I have to ask myself, "was I really ready for that? A toddler?" 3. I don't have to secure employment from scratch. Being a LDR meant relocation, and I'm not in a situation where I could just transfer. 4. I don't have to miss my friends or family. Again the relocation thing. 5. I don't have to put up with any of her bull**** ever again. Not for one damn minute! Not EVER! WHOOHOO! Deep down I still miss her... but is it really her that I miss, or the love she once had for me? I miss being in love? I understand now that I will find love again, I just have to be really, really patient. The older I get, the harder it gets to meet someone I click with... and the whole getting old, body changing, getting wrinkles thing doesn't help either.
sedgwick Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 Those are damn good reasons! I don't know where you are now, but yeah, I wouldn't want to live in MO either (I grew up in AR so I know whereof I speak.)
Chinook Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 Nice list M. Good to see you post it, you've come a long way. As for whether you miss her or miss being in love with someone...? I'd say it's probably a mix of both. But yes, I'd say that missing being with someone is kinda normal. I have those days a lot at the moment. Oh and hey, quit with the age thing... wrinkles are due to laughing so much and scars are due to experience... right..?! Right.
Meaplus3 Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 So here's my top 5 list... in no particular order. 1. I don't have to move to Missouri. No offense to you mid-westeners, but that place sucks! 2. I don't have to be step dad to a 2-year old. Ok I know there's probably a ton of benefits to being a step-parent, but I have to ask myself, "was I really ready for that? A toddler?" 3. I don't have to secure employment from scratch. Being a LDR meant relocation, and I'm not in a situation where I could just transfer. 4. I don't have to miss my friends or family. Again the relocation thing. 5. I don't have to put up with any of her bull**** ever again. Not for one damn minute! Not EVER! WHOOHOO! Deep down I still miss her... but is it really her that I miss, or the love she once had for me? I miss being in love? I understand now that I will find love again, I just have to be really, really patient. The older I get, the harder it gets to meet someone I click with... and the whole getting old, body changing, getting wrinkles thing doesn't help either. I think this is a great list for you to keep things in perspective. It sounds like you have come along way. Keep your chin up. AP:)
nopainnogain Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 I didnt get dumped per say.... but I was cheated on and had to leave even though I didnt want to....... So here are my top 5 reasons the ex cheating on me was a good thing..... 1- I saw her true colors and am glad I am not living the rest of my life with a cheat. 2- Im becoming a stronger person 3- Im taking care of my "nice guy syndrome" 4- I dont have to deal with manipulations anymore or go out of my way to please her which pushed her farther away 5- I am now free to meet a girl who has morals and respect
movingonandon Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 It's a long shot... for this to work - therapeutically speaking, but here it is: 1) No need to deal - financially and emotionally - with her psychotic (antisocial personality disorder) piece of stinking s**t mother 2) No need to stress over when is she finally going to finish her degree, when is she finally going to get a job, when are finally going to move in together. 3) No need to put up with her occasional bursts of irrational, paranoid jealocy 4) No need to exaust myself with bi-weekly travel. 5) ? The reality of course is that I'd rather deal with those things... in a way that wouldn't have led to a break up. Still, it' not a bad list
Rooster_DAR Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 Wow, some good lists here. My biggest lesson learned is be careful with whom you trust too soon. I believe now that people have to earn your trust, by doing things that a trusted person does. Another big lesson is don't treat you S/O like they are a queen, they will turn around and screw you (It should be mutual respect). Finally, be secure with yourself. Don't give up your dignity for anyone, and don't be a niceguy doormat type. Regards,
selena_cat Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 I have one, this is good therapy I dont have to move to his part of the hemisphere because that place sicks,9I wont name the country but really, If i'm going to be in Europe for someone it better be France, Italy England or maybe Spain 1. he's untrustworthy and haslack of morals and respect 2. I can never trust him anyway since he lack of morals and respect 3. Once a cheat is always a cheat 4. he's a class A jerk and mentally absive,seen his true colors and how he treats people that outlive their unsefulness in his life 5. I deserve waaay better than someone who truns on and off like a faucet
BackonTrack Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 I see no positives or negatives. Its life and you take all that it gives you weather good or bad. I had no real complaints about my ex, her problems as well as anyone's problems could of been solved with communication and common sense. Unforatunely, the ex could not be herself with me or so she claims. I asked a cousin about this line, he's been with maybe 40-50 women so I listen to his advise. He says, he only word that line twice in his life and both times he told me the girls were whores and freaky in bed (not saying anything wrong with this) I think that was my ex, she wanted to be with women, I talked her out of it, she wanted plastic surgery on her breast, I told her she should love her body as it is + it takes out the feeling, she wanted to keep taking speed to help her study so I basically ran all the red lights n told her she was killing us. Wow, looks like I was more of a traditional type of guy, no drama, keep to himself, lives a good life, doesn't bother people, aggressive when needs to be, she was just young, not defined, didn't know who she was. I suppose we all have different paths n journeys in life as to whom we are, I already know who I am. Just a regular guy who likes to enjoy himself and surround himself with positive people. My ex wasn't at peace with herself, I got a dream message few months back, I seen her, she looked different, almost didn't recognize her, she looked happy, like she was at peace.
FadedSign Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 I didnt get dumped per say.... but I was cheated on and had to leave even though I didnt want to....... So here are my top 5 reasons the ex cheating on me was a good thing..... 1- I saw her true colors and am glad I am not living the rest of my life with a cheat. 2- Im becoming a stronger person 3- Im taking care of my "nice guy syndrome" 4- I dont have to deal with manipulations anymore or go out of my way to please her which pushed her farther away 5- I am now free to meet a girl who has morals and respect Wow, except for 4 that would be my list.
watermeloncandy Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 I won't miss: having to walk on eggshells being scared to get into a car with him driving his anger and negativity about pretty much everything and everyone, and constantly bringing up his past wondering if he's cheating on me or lying to me ...(my issue i need to work on though) driving around to several different grocery stores just to save a few bucks on food his leaving crumbs on the kitchen counter and not washing dishes the idiocy of facebook *In all fairness, I need to also mention the things I will miss* his smile and laughter ( I wish I saw it more ) knowing he'd kill anyone who ever hurt me (the feeling of being protected) his intelligence and conversation his dumb jokes the physical part and how we made each other feel his love and friendship
ate_the_paint Posted September 18, 2008 Posted September 18, 2008 I didnt get dumped per say.... but I was cheated on and had to leave even though I didnt want to....... So here are my top 5 reasons the ex cheating on me was a good thing..... 1- I saw her true colors and am glad I am not living the rest of my life with a cheat. 2- Im becoming a stronger person 3- Im taking care of my "nice guy syndrome" 4- I dont have to deal with manipulations anymore or go out of my way to please her which pushed her farther away 5- I am now free to meet a girl who has morals and respect Nicely put. I liked your list. Saw somethings from my own list here.
SarahRose Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 My tops reasons but I am the dumper I won't have the mental anguish about the rs anymore I have options now to actually find someone who really loves me and acts like it. Before I felt trapped. I don't have to go over there and pick him up all the time. He doesn't drive. My self esteem will get better from not being taken for granted and ignored his laziness
ahhhchooo Posted September 19, 2008 Posted September 19, 2008 1. I now have more freedom with what to do with my life. I can go anywhere, start a new career and build my life into whatever I see fit. Our plans included getting married and having children next year. 2. I don't need to deal with some of the immense pain she would cause me when I made little mistakes in attitude and she'd NC me for a day to prove a point about what a jackass I was. 3. I am no longer trusting a liar. 4. My mood is entirely my own - someone else's bad mood is not my problem. 5. No-one has an expectation of 24/7 contact from me.
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