toogood4u7 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 My ex bf broke up with me May of this year bc he said he though we fought too much. I did all the the stupids things like crying and begging. I even continued to hangout and talk to him until July ( which i regret now). He kept telling me things like he loved me and was going to marry me and I foolishly believed him bc I loved him very much. Finally I talked to him and told him we are either back together or not and if not then you need to stop contacting me. He told me I was pushing him and he wanted to take things slow and saw what happened but after I gave him a choice like that he said he dosent want to be with me bc he thinks there might be someone better for him. This crushed me bc just days before that he was telling me I was "it" for him. I found out he started dating this older woman (hes 25 shes 30) who is also my best guy friends ex. She actually lives right in my neighbor hood and his car is there every night. That kills me bc I dont know how he could go from sleeping at my apt every night for a year to sleeping at her house every night so soon after he ended things and after only seeing her for around a month. He recently called me 2 weeks ago to see how things were with me I acted like everything was fine he asked if I was dating anyone and I told him right now Im happy being single I asked him and he told me he didnt have a girlfriend and only saw that girl like once a week. I know thats a lie bc I see his car there every night. I just dont know why he would lie about that. I thought for a while I was fine but lately I find myself breaking down and crying all the time. I seriously havent cried this much since the initial breakup. I wish I could get over him I just dont know what to do I tried everything to get my mind off of it. I just dont think its fair he was the one who was a complete jerk to me and now hes in this happy relationship but Im the one still alone and crying. Like really what ever happened to Karma, why does he get off so easy? Sorry for this pathetic post Im really not like this at all thats why this bothers me so much. I just need to know how long Im gonna feel this way and if theres anything I could do to get rid of this feeling. Please help.
BCCA Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 First, Im so sorry you have to go through this. It hurts worse than anything, I know. The problem with Karma is that while what goes around does come around, it doesnt always happen right away, and you probably wont have front row seats to watch it (unfortunately - I know!). But honestly, life is just NOT fair. It's really sucky, but there is nothing you can do. He sounds like a selfish jerk. He called to ask if you were dating anyone to see if you were still available if he needed a fix. He went on to this other woman so he wouldnt be alone, but I doubt it means much of anything. Rebounds never work, so maybe he'll get it back when she gives him the boot. The most important thing to remember is that just because ONE guy didnt want to be with you doesnt mean your a bad person. Youll find someone better who cares, and whatever this douche does from now on is not your concern. Let him do whatever he wants. The best revenge is success.
Author toogood4u7 Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 thanks for the advice. Especially the last part thats my biggest issue. I find it impossible to even consider other guys. My ex made me loose all my confidence. Sometimes I feel like Im never gonna find someone else bc Im never going to let this situation go. I know it sounds so crazy but he really messed me up
BCCA Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 thanks for the advice. Especially the last part thats my biggest issue. I find it impossible to even consider other guys. My ex made me loose all my confidence. Sometimes I feel like Im never gonna find someone else bc Im never going to let this situation go. I know it sounds so crazy but he really messed me up Dont feel like youre alone, I would bet 90% of the people posting here have been in your shoes - I know I have! Its not that you wont find someone, its just that right now, you dont want to. You feel like you put all this effort into making things work with this guy, and it didnt work, so why invest again, right? Well, you will get over this guy, and one day, youll love again. Patience is truly a virtue (that I dont have, but Im trying!) The best advice I can offer is that you have to take control of your life and happiness back. You cant need validation from anyone to be happy. I know this isnt much help right now, but each day try and remind yourself that youre a good person who deserves happiness, and one day youll find it.
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