I want to be friends with the people on my hall!!

[my body is a cage]

I just started my sophomore year at college. I have a number of friends here, but I have grown tired of them... I really want to meet new people!

 

I live in community based living this year, and there are a bunch of Sophomores and Freshmen on my hall that I would like to be friends with. The problem is, I'm really shy! People tell me that I'm intimidating at first, and also that people generally think I seem interesting/cool and would like to get to know me, but I have this sort of illogical social anxiety that makes me feel convinced that anyone I want to be friends with is not going to want to be friends with me if they get to know me (even when I've heard that they do want to be friends with me.)

 

Sometimes I hear people hanging out on my hall without me and it really upsets me because I want to be a part of it so badly, and I want to get to know these people. I'm wayy too shy to knock on their door or anything, and I say hi to a bunch of these people and they would be perfectly capable of knocking on my door and inviting me to these festivities themselves, you know?

 

Basically, my question is, does anyone have any advice about how to overcome this illogical fear? And also, any advice on what to talk to people I don't know very well about?

[hendersongirl]

I was at a hall in my first year, and I am shy too. I found what worked was just leaving my door open while I was in there, saying 'hi' as they went past, but generally letting them talk to me. In common rooms, just sitting down with (small) groups of people and asking people about their studies etc. If other people have their doors open, just pop over when they are on their own (I agree - a large group is scary!!) and say you're bored and how are they? Once you are having a conversation with someone, and you feel friendly with them, ask them what they are up to tonight, or tomorrow night or whatever, and say you are keen to go out drinking (or whatever you guys do there), if they have plans, they will say so, and if appropriate they should invite you. If they say they have plans and don't invite you, no big deal, just say 'sweet as, I'll check what *name and name* are up to'. Or, when you hear festivities in someone's room, knock on their door and ask who sings that song (they are playing) or something (drink in hand). You really do have to put yourself out there a bit - i know it is SOO nerve-wracking but trust me you will be fine

[Flowerpower7]

I know this may sound silly...but it works! Try googling "Mirroring" for friendship (not computers)....and give that a try. Its suppose to guarantee you instant rapport with anyone.

[superd]

i don't agree here, oh well, I never agree with anyone here, oh well..my theory is the girl next door fantasy that will never come true.