goldencloud Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I'm just a bit depressed i guess you could say! Since moving to this country, ive been a few guys (inclusive of mr 'not ready for relatonship but very much ready for affair') but havent found anything solid it seems the guys that i like show incredible interest then suddenly fly away! they'll tell me what a great personality i have, how open and funny i am, how gorgeous they find me but before u know it they withdraw contact... i met this really sweet guy a month ago. i had been at a musical, and 2 weeks later whilst at a lounge with my friends, this guy comes up to me and professes to know me, i laugh it off and say 'mister, what an outdated pick up line, go away and rehearse and come back!' he started laughing and was like no he remembers me from the musical. and since then we were in contact, i went over to his place several times, we made out but no further..but suddenly contact dwindled.. what am i doing wrong? am i too nice? too open? sigh, just the musings of a thursday evening
Author goldencloud Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 why are men so attracted to me sexually but when it comes down to it..and i say no its not going there...they suddenly lose interest, well not lose interest but sort of just float away! i know i have a good personality, and am fun to be around...im quite social, so maybe i give off a 'come hither' look and they are disappointed when it leads to nothing...? its kinda depresing me
JoeNewbie Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Hey, You seem to describe the facts pretty well but we have no information on the things that you say to the guys. Do you tend to go too fast? Do you tend to lower your guard too quickly?
paddington bear Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Welcome to my world Goldencloud!!! Exact same problem, no known solution or explanation found as yet, I'm still looking. It is my Holy Grail...what is wrong with me? What signals am I putting out? Why does no one want to date me, but just wants to sleep with me, despite telling me how lively and fun etc I am. Getting sick too of hearing other people wondering why on earth I haven't been 'snapped up yet'.
Author goldencloud Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 well see i think i let my guard down too early. for me time is very relative, how many months/years ive known someone isnt of much relevance to me so i tend to talk..and talk quite a lot about things like this guy you remembered me from the muscial, that first evening he called me 5 times to accompany him and his friends to some nightclub they were going to, i declinded because i was staying with a gf of mine and would be rude to ditch her since she didnt wanna go out i txted him the next day and proceed to invite him out one evening, he was ill. anyways we ended up hanging out one weekend, went to some market,and it was great, and his arm was always around me, and he kept laughing at everything i said, and complimenting me on the way i spoke..and these ladies came up to us and were like is she your girlfriend, well u have to buy her flowers awkward but later we went to his place, and were hanging out chatting for hours, the next day we met and we started kissing but i didnt want it to go further then that, and i talked alot about myself, moving etc etc...yeah maybe i do open up too fast...and i got slightly irritated he mentioned some other girl he once made out with from his office and that he would be seeing the next day cos of an office party, and i made my annoyance known..ARGH! maybe i do come on too strong..in any case the next time we saw each toher, he was holding my hands and we were watching movies but once we started kissing, he said he had to stop before he got too turned out and lost control but in a funny way since then i havent really seen much of him, or heard from him..sigh! that aside, if you've read my other post, ull see another shining example! i totally understand what u mean paddington bear...ppl keep wondering WHAT ur single?? and im like uh yes...and forever getting compliments from men, buttttt i get the feeling they just want to sleep with me!! im the furthest thing away from promiscious, but maybe its the way i look? i dont know...maybe im too open?
paddington bear Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Read an article that ran something like this: Fun, lively, talkative girl has friend who doesn't say much but gets all the guys. Fun, lively, talkative girl does an experiment and goes out with another fun, lively, talkative girl, but this time our original girl shuts the hell up and acts mysterious, nods and smiles, says very little. And hey presto! Guys falling over her. I tend to blab out stuff too. Maybe the mystery is missing, the 'I want to get to know more about this woman' bit - we've already told them everything, so there's nothing else left to know...well that and possibly we're both just crap at picking the right kind of men! The fact that your guy mentioned another girl while having his arm around you all day and flirting was not on. No wonder you got annoyed. Sounds to me like he was never going to be serious about you or anyone or else he wouldn't have said such a thing in your presence. When he realised that you weren't going to put out quickly or easily he lost interest.
Author goldencloud Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 paddington bear, you're singing the song of my life!!! i NEVER have a problem getting the guy(and trust me i dont say this in a boast ful way...how can i...they all end up running the other way UNLESS i lose interest then they fall madly in love while i secretly barf in distaste..sigh) its MAINTAINING them!! what are other girls doing that im not?! where is this article paddington bear?! but then again i DONT want to drown my personality..being chatty/friendly etc is part of me...can i still be mysterious yet not drown myself out?! ARGH! Do u have any similar stories?! below is my other story i posted a few days ago http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t163630/ ARGH! shriek screamm!!!!
Author goldencloud Posted September 12, 2008 Author Posted September 12, 2008 but iam!!! (insert speech not saying this in boostful way but i do think i am) but it's working AGAINST me! and its not like i go to a guy with a mission, all laughs and fluttery eyes...i just am me...but ive been told in past - long term material, he not ready for that - ah if only we had met a few yrs down the line - scream relationship(i do?!) could it be that me saying things like oh ive only been with 2 guys, and i only slept with them after being with them a yr...u know sometimes guys ask u about your past relationships..could that be a deterant? should i stay mute on the topic and let them guess? im really open, and i think its working against me is there a way to be myself yet aloof am i missing a page here that everyone seems to have read:S
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