When Good People Have Affairs

[complicatedlife]

When Good People Have Affairs: The Complete Guide to Figuring Out What to Do When You're in Two Relationships by Mira Kirshcenbaum

 

I came across this book as I was purchasing some other "relationship" books...has anyone here read it and if so, what were your thoughts? Thanks in advance.

 

http://www.amazon.com/When-Good-People-Have-Affairs/dp/0312378475/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1221166733&sr=1-2

[Owl]

The title of this book ties right into that thread I'd started in the water cooler section...

 

If you're a "Good person"...but having an affair...at what point do your actions finally disqualify you from remaining a good person??? Or does the act of having an affair automatically do that?

 

i've not read the book...so can't give any input other than my above comments.

[OWoman]

When Good People Have Affairs: The Complete Guide to Figuring Out What to Do When You're in Two Relationships by Mira Kirshcenbaum

 

I came across this book as I was purchasing some other "relationship" books...has anyone here read it and if so, what were your thoughts? Thanks in advance.

 

http://www.amazon.com/When-Good-People-Have-Affairs/dp/0312378475/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1221166733&sr=1-2

 

I've not read it, but I like her name! Kirschenbaum = cherry tree. Wasn't that what George Washington chopped down in that apocryphal story where he "couldn't tell a lie"?

 

It does sound like an interesting book though - I'll take a look on the web and see if there's more info.

[stampdaddy]

The title of this book ties right into that thread I'd started in the water cooler section...

 

If you're a "Good person"...but having an affair...at what point do your actions finally disqualify you from remaining a good person??? Or does the act of having an affair automatically do that?

 

i've not read the book...so can't give any input other than my above comments.

I guess I am a bad person...

 

Here is a prayer that I kept by my bed:

 

Lord, I have no idea where I am going.

I do not see the road ahead of me.

I can not know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.

And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.

I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.

 

And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore, I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost.

 

 

I ALWAYS thought that I was "trying" to do the right things... I thought the road that I was on was going somewhere.. anyway

[norajane]

From this description, it sounds like it's focused on helping the WS, the one doing the cheating, to identify what their affair means to them, and what to do next, so it's not likely that OW/OM would have read it.

 

She gives readers everything they need to cut through the thickets of fear, hurt and confusion to find their ways to happier, more solid relationships with the person who’s right for them. For example, Kirshenbaum identifies seventeen types of affairs, helping readers figure out which type they’re in and what it means. Is it a:

 

--“See-if” affair?

--Ejector-seat affair?

--Distraction affair?

--Unmet-needs affair?

--Panic affair?

 

 

Kirshenbaum encourages honest answers to such questions as:

--What am I missing in my marriage?

--How do I decide between two people when it’s like comparing an apple to an orange?

--How do I decide to end my marriage, end my affair, or end them both?

 

 

She leads readers through six easy-to-navigate steps that will take anyone from anxiety to clarity. When Good People Have Affairs will be a lifeline to any man or woman who feels caught between two lovers, and its insights are indispensable to anyone else touched by an affair.

 

I would imagine that the "good people" part applies to those cheating who wish not to be cheating, rather than the cake eaters who like things as they are with both a spouse and a lover. The cake eater wouldn't experience anxiety or seek clarity.