HopeDiesLast Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Leave her alone and dont sleep with her!!!!!
Author premiumjet Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 It may be that she didn't understand what you were actually saying - by your vague "we couldn't work out," you meant that you simply don't respect her for sleeping with you so quickly. That's a very different thing. Perhaps if you were more direct about your feelings about her (for example, clearly you don't love her and you shouldn't lie and tell her you do - no wonder the poor woman's confused!) she would realize why it's not going to work out. Seriously, stop trying to figure her out and work on yourself. She's not behaving nearly as confusingly as you are. I did tell her it was because we slept together so quik.
BCCA Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I did tell her it was because we slept together so quik. But you also said you loved her, and clearly you do not. Also, you said that youve cheated on other women who didnt give it up so easy, so youre obviously only fooling yourself when you say that it was part of the reason you fooled around. Face it, youre not ready to commit to anyone. So...DONT. But youve dragged this poor girl through the mud enough, and SHE loved you and put up with it. If you want to be decent about it, just be honest. You dont love her, you just like having her around BIG difference!
touchedbyfire Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 You guys need to quit responding. This is an obvious troll. And if it's not, he doesn't really deserve a response. He clearly doesn't get it and won't.
Karma101 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 But wait, he's clearly got the answer that so many of us who have recently been broken up with are searching for... I did try to break up with her many times before, but she wouldn't accept it and basically made me come back, no matter what. Enlighten me, how does one "make" you come back? Eagerly awaiting your earnest reply...
Red_Apple Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I think you should stop contacting her. It seems like you feel more comfortable having short-term, casual encounters. She only did this back and forth motion as you kind of refer to it, because she is confused. She wants to forgive you, but knows she can't and she shouldn't.
CaliGuy Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I did try to break up with her many times before, but she wouldn't accept it and basically made me come back, no matter what. I told her we couldn't work out because we started up so quick, but she'e just say that's not true and want me back. She can't MAKE you come back. You are either strong enough to recognize and refuse maniuplation or you revert to blaming her. Either way, it's not the first time you've cheated and that is the red flag sort of behavior that tells me you both need to move on.
Author premiumjet Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 But wait, he's clearly got the answer that so many of us who have recently been broken up with are searching for... Enlighten me, how does one "make" you come back? Eagerly awaiting your earnest reply... I know you're being sarcastic, but I'll answer anway. We'd get into some kind of fight at night and I'd say we shouldn't be together, I should just leave. And it'd go back and forth a while, she might argue back or not, but it would mostly end with her saying "no just stay, don't leave" (I live about an hour away). So we'd go to bed, watch tv, talk and probably she'd initiate sex. Then I'd leave the next morning for work and either that day or the next she'd call as usual asking if I'm coming by. She'd make it so easy and comfortable for me to come back. Sometimes I'd stay away for a couple days but she'd just keep texting so I'd eventually come back. She knew it was easier for me to go to work from her place than mine, and she knew I liked sleeping at her place, talking, hanging out and all that. So she'd basically seduce me back, even though she knew I didn't want it.
Author premiumjet Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 I think you should stop contacting her. It seems like you feel more comfortable having short-term, casual encounters. She only did this back and forth motion as you kind of refer to it, because she is confused. She wants to forgive you, but knows she can't and she shouldn't. She's smart though. What Caliguy just wrote reminds me, she would say that about manipulation, that I took advantage of her feelings for me.
Red_Apple Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I think it would be best if you both saw different people, or you had time alone. It doesn't sound healthy for either of you, this kind of relation.
Author premiumjet Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 I think it would be best if you both saw different people, or you had time alone. It doesn't sound healthy for either of you, this kind of relation. Thanks redapple, thanks for not dumping on me like most have. Well maybe she has changed. She hasn't texted back and I keep looking at my phone like a moron. So I should just not talk to her again? If she does call and wants to meet should I, to talk, or should I just ignore her?
sacg Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Man, you have no idea do you. thats all i can say. one day you will be on the other side boy, and trust me, it will sting.
BCCA Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Thanks redapple, thanks for not dumping on me like most have. Well maybe she has changed. She hasn't texted back and I keep looking at my phone like a moron. So I should just not talk to her again? If she does call and wants to meet should I, to talk, or should I just ignore her? I never meant to dump on anyone, but to get to the root of the problem, you have to face the facts. I think you know that all this girl was to you was a chance to get laid and a place to stay. She probably knew deep down inside that you were after sex, so she kept giving it to you so she could keep you around. She was willing to sacrafice herself because she loved you, and you didnt return the favor. I think what a lot of people are trying to tell you is that what goes around comes around. If you were in her shoes, life would suck. The next time she calls/etc, you should tell her "Im not interested in a relationship with you, and wont ever be. Im sorry if I hurt you, but its probably best that we go our seperate ways" Thats the only decent thing to do. If you go meet her and fill her with false hope that things are going to be different, youre just being mean. Put yourself in her shoes, she loves you - you just want some booty and company.
Author premiumjet Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 Man, you have no idea do you. thats all i can say. one day you will be on the other side boy, and trust me, it will sting. I've been hurt and I'm hurting now. I miss her. I feel bad about all of this. I asked if I should ignore her if she ever contacts me again, or if she asks to meet if I should go, to just talk if she wants, not at her place, because it's what people are saying is the right thing to do. So which is right? Never talk again or meet to talk it over?
BCCA Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I've been hurt and I'm hurting now. I miss her. I feel bad about all of this. I asked if I should ignore her if she ever contacts me again, or if she asks to meet if I should go, to just talk if she wants, not at her place, because it's what people are saying is the right thing to do. So which is right? Never talk again or meet to talk it over? The next time she calls/etc, you should tell her "Im not interested in a relationship with you, and wont ever be. Im sorry if I hurt you, but its probably best that we go our seperate ways" Thats the only decent thing to do. If you go meet her and fill her with false hope that things are going to be different, youre just being mean. Put yourself in her shoes, she loves you - you just want some booty and company.
Author premiumjet Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 Well that's what I'll do then. Maybe it doesn't matter, she hasn't written back and by now she would've, asking to get together. I guess it's true, I got caught cheating and even though she's sent me all these mixed signals since then she doesn't want me anymore. Everyone, I do feel awful, not just because it's over, but because of how I made her feel. I been feeling bad, and now I feel worse. Her last text was so cheery, a total different change from things. Maybe she was out with someone new last night, that's why she didn't text back for a few hours.
citizen67 Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 I think you have that cheating gene - you should leave her alone
Konfuzion Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 But wait, he's clearly got the answer that so many of us who have recently been broken up with are searching for... Enlighten me, how does one "make" you come back? Eagerly awaiting your earnest reply... Priceless. premiumjet You need to leave this poor girl alone, I feel so sorry for her. And for yourself you should start up some intense counseling and try to overcome whatever it is that you feel your Mother or Father did to you. Also sleeping with someone on the first, second, third or sixtieth date doesn't make you a "ho", I had a threesome on a first date with a girl that I ended up being with for 4 years (we just both liked sex and there is nothing wrong with that).
Red_Apple Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 The next time she calls/etc, you should tell her "Im not interested in a relationship with you, and wont ever be. Im sorry if I hurt you, but its probably best that we go our seperate ways" Thats the only decent thing to do. I agree, I think this is the best thing to do, premiumjet.
Author premiumjet Posted September 13, 2008 Author Posted September 13, 2008 Priceless. premiumjet You need to leave this poor girl alone, I feel so sorry for her. And for yourself you should start up some intense counseling and try to overcome whatever it is that you feel your Mother or Father did to you. Also sleeping with someone on the first, second, third or sixtieth date doesn't make you a "ho", I had a threesome on a first date with a girl that I ended up being with for 4 years (we just both liked sex and there is nothing wrong with that). Funny you should say that, my mom had an affair on my dad, theyre still married though. Well this girl never cheated on me I don't think, she's not the type, so I guess she's really not a ho. What I meant was that since we did it kind of quik (sex) I put her in that category of non gf type, but she did become my gf after a while. She really did like sex too! anyway I tried not to contact her but I broke down and sent a couple texts, but she hasn't answered at all. I guess I'll stop. It's the weekend maybe she's busy with some other guy after all?
Red_Apple Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 I don't think she's with another guy. She's probably trying to keep her distance. Try not to "break down" and send her text messages. You should keep your distance as well, even though it's difficult. Like I said, I think it's better for both of you.
mscomplex Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Priceless. premiumjet You need to leave this poor girl alone, I feel so sorry for her. And for yourself you should start up some intense counseling and try to overcome whatever it is that you feel your Mother or Father did to you. Also sleeping with someone on the first, second, third or sixtieth date doesn't make you a "ho", I had a threesome on a first date with a girl that I ended up being with for 4 years (we just both liked sex and there is nothing wrong with that). I agree...I met a guy on a Sunday. Went to dinner with him on Wednesday. He invited me to him home for a dinner he planned to cook that Friday and we had sex. After that we dated for 4 yrs. As a matter of fact he asked me to be his girlfriend in week 2. Having sex with someone soon after meeting them does not make someone a "ho." It can sometimes mean that you have not been involved with someone on a physical level in a while, the chemistry feels right, both are consenting adults and go for it. I know as I woman that is something I used to wrestle with. (sleeping with someone soon after meeting) In that instance it worked out. The fact that she keeps being physical with you is because the physical chemistry is great but she keeps pulling away because you cannot be trusted to be faithful. After the last incident she probably paired that with all of your other deeds with women and determined that this can only get worse if she keeps going. What could she possibly do to stop you? You started out with the texting thing and she overlooked it and you just keep pushing your limits. She is attracted to you and loves you yet she knows you are not boyfriend material. You call her out for sleeping with you soon but you did the same. (you slept with her soon) Also, you cheated on her. What do you call a man who has a girlfriend who he cheats on while maintaining a relationship with her as well/ You say she is a "ho" but what do you call yourself and more importantly why should she continue with you when you keep going down other paths bringing other women into your relationship. Leave her alone. If she suggests meeting up, if you care anything about her, tell her no. She is obviously blinded by the physical attraction but knows you are a bad boy and is having difficulty telling you know. I have 2 friends to speak of who had men who were the same way. They could not see that their men were bad boys until they drugs and alcohol affected their sexual performance. After no longer having that as a distraction, they could see the relationship for what it was. Do her a favor and look out for her when she obviously is unable to do so for herself. Better yet, send her this thread via IM.
Star Gazer Posted September 15, 2008 Posted September 15, 2008 Jeremy, is that you? My BFF is going through an identical situation.
Recommended Posts