premiumjet Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 We broke up about 1 month ago. We met a couple years ago, didn't date exclusively until about 9 months into it, but we basically were exclusive. We moved pretty fast into the sex, and it was incredible -- she kept me coming back for more! She caught me talking to other women via text a couple times, I'd meet them online at work because it's entertaining to go on internet sites and such (she doesn't know about the sites). She seemed to forgive me. Well, a few months ago I metup with one woman and slept with her a few times here and there. Then this woman calls my gf and tells her! So it all blew up and after a few angry texts and a phone call where I tried to get her to see me, she completely ignored me for a couple weeks. Over the summer I would get so mad at her but always come back -- why not, she'd always take me back and wanted me, kept asking me to come. Then she finally answered a text saying she was doing well. I got a few more texts out of her, and she'd agree to meet me, but then always cancel at the last minute, which pissed me off. Finally we met last week, and it sucked. She was pissed and didn't look happy. But she reached out a little and touched my hands, and I kissed her at the end and she didn't pull away. But then she looked at me with big sad eyes and said she loved me, I said I love her too. She asked why did I do this to her and I got defensive and mad and told her we had sex too early anway, this relationship can't work out. She's smarter than me btw, runs with a higher kind of crowd. Anyway it ended with me leaving her standing there with big sad eyes. Then I get a text yesterday from her saying she'd like to meet again to do this the right way. After waiting 4 or 5 hours I said ok, I'll come over. She said no, she wants to meet, she's not comfortable having me over. I said I'm not going to drive all that way back and forth if I can't spend the night (she didn't know I took the day off and wasn't closer to her area). She said what about Thursday (today) I said I'm busy. She said another time then. Then we kept exchanging pleasant texts all night, except she stopped for a couple hours or so from 8 to 11:30, which pissed me off. We exchanged a couple this morning, but she's said nothing about meeting up. What's going on with her? Why does she want to meet? She always took me back.
BCCA Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I dont think Ive ever said this to anyone here, but you have really no right to be upset. You were basically cheating on her the entire time, and I cant figure out why you dont see anything wrong with it. Unless you had sex on the first date, I dont see why having it too early would really effect your relationship. She probably wants you to meet her so she can tell you off, and you deserve it. She loved you, and you were unfaithful. Then, when she asked why you would do this to her, you throw a fit and storm off. Also, I cant understand why everything pisses you off. I mean, a girl you cheated on didnt want to respond to texts for a few hours and youre mad? Mad at who? You should be mad at yourself. Just because she always took you back doesnt mean you always deserved it. Maybe she's realizing that youre not going to change your 'online hook up' ways. Honest man, youre dead wrong here. Leave the girl alone. You were not good to her at all, lied and cheated. Now youre mad because shes giving you the brush off? Come on now, put yourself in her shoes.
Author premiumjet Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 Hey, we had sex on the third date, and almost on the second. She's no angel! She said she never moved that fast before but who knows if that's true? Because of that, I didn't think of her as gf material. But it was working out, she was cool to me, I stayed at her place mostly every night, we went on trips, met family, all that, so she became my gf. All types of women are willing to sleep with you when you meet on line, it's easy. I didn't want to have her leave me, I would've stopped it with this other woman soon anyway. I do love her. Is she going to flake on me again or be a tease, why can't I come to her place?
Karma101 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Hey, we had sex on the third date, and almost on the second. She's no angel! She said she never moved that fast before but who knows if that's true? Because of that, I didn't think of her as gf material. But it was working out, she was cool to me, I stayed at her place mostly every night, we went on trips, met family, all that, so she became my gf. All types of women are willing to sleep with you when you meet on line, it's easy. I didn't want to have her leave me, I would've stopped it with this other woman soon anyway. I do love her. Is she going to flake on me again or be a tease, why can't I come to her place? Seriously?!? Good grief...
officegirl Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I'm not entirely convinced that you're serious. You've got to be joking. In the event that you aren't a troll.... You've got to be out of your mind. Why on earth would you expect any sort of courtesy from this woman? I think you should stick to online dating until you are ready for a grown up relationship. Leave this poor woman alone. The attitude you have about everything indicates that you accept no fault in the matter. You will do it again to her and that's not fair.
Author premiumjet Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 Seriously?!? Good grief... Ok, I did act like a dog, but mostly out of boredom. I don't know if my xgf is really over me or if I still have a chance. I know she acted mad and she did tell me off some when we met recently, but then she said she loved me and touched me and all that. She ALWAYS got right back in the sack with me when we fought or when she caught me talking to other women. I admit I treated her kind of like a ho, she was so willing! She said she isn't like that, she's just so into me, and I admit, our sex was so hot all the time. She was classy outside of the bedroom. Can someone explain this ignoring me, then this back and forth let's meet, then canceling, then a bad meeting and now she wants to meet again but only in public?
Final Girl Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 She shouldn't ignore you for a few hours, or even a few weeks. She should ignore you forever!!! :mad::mad:
BCCA Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Ok, I did act like a dog, but mostly out of boredom. I don't know if my xgf is really over me or if I still have a chance. I know she acted mad and she did tell me off some when we met recently, but then she said she loved me and touched me and all that. She ALWAYS got right back in the sack with me when we fought or when she caught me talking to other women. I admit I treated her kind of like a ho, she was so willing! She said she isn't like that, she's just so into me, and I admit, our sex was so hot all the time. She was classy outside of the bedroom. Can someone explain this ignoring me, then this back and forth let's meet, then canceling, then a bad meeting and now she wants to meet again but only in public? SHE DOESNT WANT TO BE A BOOTY CALL!!! Is it really that hard to understand or see what youre doing? Youve treated her like a complete ho, and now you wonder why she doesnt want you coming to her place? What do you think? She doesnt want to sleep with you, and is hoping that by meeting in a public place that she can say whats on her mind withouth worrying that you only want to meet her for sex. If you seriously wanted to make things right, you would meet her in public and take your lumps like a man. You dont even want her, you just want sex, how can you be that shallow and then act like youre owed some explination? Is this even a serious post? Im starting to doubt it.
Author premiumjet Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 And about these texts today, when she finally texted me back last night she said she didn't understand my last text, couldn't read it. So we started this morning and she asked me if I was buzzed because the letters were all jumbled. A couple other topics too, but she's not asking me any questions. We were talking about why she wasn't comfortable having me over last night and I asked her if her place was a mess, she joked about my ego being big, then it got serious but she hasn't asked me what the last thing I wrote meant, to continue that conversation today. She's being nice though, but not persistent like she usually is. It's different. Is she playing a game?
audrey_1 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Ok, I did act like a dog, but mostly out of boredom. I don't know if my xgf is really over me or if I still have a chance. I know she acted mad and she did tell me off some when we met recently, but then she said she loved me and touched me and all that. She ALWAYS got right back in the sack with me when we fought or when she caught me talking to other women. I admit I treated her kind of like a ho, she was so willing! She said she isn't like that, she's just so into me, and I admit, our sex was so hot all the time. She was classy outside of the bedroom. Can someone explain this ignoring me, then this back and forth let's meet, then canceling, then a bad meeting and now she wants to meet again but only in public? If she gets back with you, she is a fool. You sound like a horrible boyfriend.
Author premiumjet Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 SHE DOESNT WANT TO BE A BOOTY CALL!!! Is it really that hard to understand or see what youre doing? Youve treated her like a complete ho, and now you wonder why she doesnt want you coming to her place? What do you think? She doesnt want to sleep with you, and is hoping that by meeting in a public place that she can say whats on her mind withouth worrying that you only want to meet her for sex. If you seriously wanted to make things right, you would meet her in public and take your lumps like a man. You dont even want her, you just want sex, how can you be that shallow and then act like youre owed some explination? Is this even a serious post? Im starting to doubt it. I want her, sure I want sex, but I miss her company, staying at her place all that. I do care about her and I messed up, I admit it.
Kasan Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Is she playing a game? Are you even reading any of these responses that you have been receiving? You really have to ask this? Look, I'm sure that you have found other women or "ho's" in your "boredom" stage that you can go and play with. Leave the poor girl alone--she really deserves better, and you aren't really mature enough IMO to handle a relationship.
HopeDiesLast Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 no shes not playing a game. shes letting you know she doesnt want you over her damn house. she doesnt want to sleep with you. she wants you to be the decent guy she can call her bf and i dont think you have it in you, man. she should totally be ignoring you, but i know how hard that can be. dude, cut her loose. you messed up. you didnt cheat once....you kept it going. you just said you treated her like a ho!!!! if she knew that she'd slap you. actually i wanna slap you. you have some serious growing up to do. leave the poor girl alone. stop calling her....let her chase you and dont answer. be a frickin man and let her go. she needs to realize you're not worth it. for god sakes, give me her screen name on aim and ill let her know you're not worth it.
serial muse Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 And about these texts today, when she finally texted me back last night she said she didn't understand my last text, couldn't read it. So we started this morning and she asked me if I was buzzed because the letters were all jumbled. A couple other topics too, but she's not asking me any questions. We were talking about why she wasn't comfortable having me over last night and I asked her if her place was a mess, she joked about my ego being big, then it got serious but she hasn't asked me what the last thing I wrote meant, to continue that conversation today. She's being nice though, but not persistent like she usually is. It's different. Is she playing a game? No, but I suspect that she knows you are/have been playing her, and is simply trying to figure out how to end it without getting more hurt than she already is. Of course she doesn't want you to come over. Of course she wants to know if you're truly contrite or not (clearly, you're not). I hope you tell her so and let her move on. She liked you, but you treated her like crap for it and were really hot and cold with her. Not girlfriend material but your "exgf"? You acted like a dog out of boredom? How can you justify playing with someone's feelings like that - are you really trying to say it's okay because she slept with you on the second or third date? That's ridiculous. Look, you used her and naturally she's now hurt and conflicted about whether to give you yet another chance. Unfortunately, she doesn't know that you're not actually sorry for any of it, but secretly feel she deserved it. So that'll be another rude awakening for her, when she does learn that. Nicely done.
Karma101 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I admit I treated her kind of like a ho, she was so willing! I think I just threw up in my mouth a little...
BCCA Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I think I just threw up in my mouth a little... I'm convinced that this is either a joke or this guy is 16. Wow... You have people struggling to figure out how a 4-7+ year relationship went wrong, and what they can do to improve themselves, and here comes this guy pissy because the girl he treated like crap and cheated on doesnt want him coming over for booty. Unreal.
CaliGuy Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Some people can't see the forest through the trees. OP, she doesn't want to a booty call. If you can't respect that then do the right thing and leave her alone.
Author premiumjet Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 No, but I suspect that she knows you are/have been playing her, and is simply trying to figure out how to end it without getting more hurt than she already is. Of course she doesn't want you to come over. Of course she wants to know if you're truly contrite or not (clearly, you're not). I hope you tell her so and let her move on. She liked you, but you treated her like crap for it and were really hot and cold with her. Not girlfriend material but your "exgf"? You acted like a dog out of boredom? How can you justify playing with someone's feelings like that - are you really trying to say it's okay because she slept with you on the second or third date? That's ridiculous. Look, you used her and naturally she's now hurt and conflicted about whether to give you yet another chance. Unfortunately, she doesn't know that you're not actually sorry for any of it, but secretly feel she deserved it. So that'll be another rude awakening for her, when she does learn that. Nicely done. She did say she was conflicted when we met the other night, that she's mad and hurt but she still loves me and misses me. She'd been acting like that more and more this summer, getting mad at me all of a sudden bringing up things. I am reading all of these replies. Can a woman be this way though, so "conflicted?" If I was cheated on I'd bail and that be it. Her sleeping with me so quick did have something to do with how I treated her behind her back, but I admit I've cheated before on a woman who wasn't as sexual and more traditional.
Final Girl Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 You crushed her!!! Can't you see that? Her head is pickled...that the man she loved and who she thought loved her could treat her like that!! She feels used and it must hurt like mad!! She LOVED you and you trampled all over her. No wonder the poor girl's confused. Hang your head in shame!! You are one bad person.
CaliGuy Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 She did say she was conflicted when we met the other night, that she's mad and hurt but she still loves me and misses me. She'd been acting like that more and more this summer, getting mad at me all of a sudden bringing up things. I am reading all of these replies. Can a woman be this way though, so "conflicted?" If I was cheated on I'd bail and that be it. Her sleeping with me so quick did have something to do with how I treated her behind her back, but I admit I've cheated before on a woman who wasn't as sexual and more traditional. So essentially you are a serial cheater and this woman should run as far away from you as possible. Why don't you leave her alone to find someone who loves and respects her the way she should be?
BCCA Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I am reading all of these replies. Can a woman be this way though, so "conflicted?" If I was cheated on I'd bail and that be it. Her sleeping with me so quick did have something to do with how I treated her behind her back, but I admit I've cheated before on a woman who wasn't as sexual and more traditional.[/quote] Thats nonsensical man. You're a dog, plain and simple. Now, youre just making excuses for why what you did should be forgiven. You deserve to walk out of your house tomorrow morning and find your car keyed up on side and down the other, and a brick through your windshield.
Author premiumjet Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 So essentially you are a serial cheater and this woman should run as far away from you as possible. Why don't you leave her alone to find someone who loves and respects her the way she should be? I did try to break up with her many times before, but she wouldn't accept it and basically made me come back, no matter what. I told her we couldn't work out because we started up so quick, but she'e just say that's not true and want me back.
serial muse Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I did try to break up with her many times before, but she wouldn't accept it and basically made me come back, no matter what. I told her we couldn't work out because we started up so quick, but she'e just say that's not true and want me back. It may be that she didn't understand what you were actually saying - by your vague "we couldn't work out," you meant that you simply don't respect her for sleeping with you so quickly. That's a very different thing. Perhaps if you were more direct about your feelings about her (for example, clearly you don't love her and you shouldn't lie and tell her you do - no wonder the poor woman's confused!) she would realize why it's not going to work out. Seriously, stop trying to figure her out and work on yourself. She's not behaving nearly as confusingly as you are.
HopeDiesLast Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 hahaha i say that phrase alllll the time karma....so funny.
Author premiumjet Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 I'm sorry I sound like such a dog. I did treat her well, taking her places all that. She spent some holidays with my family! When I said I treated her like a ho I meant I didn't think doing the on line thing would impact her, because she didn't know about it and it entertained me at work. Also she was always so ready for sex, no matter how my day was, she'd never turn me down, in fact she did most of the initiating. She'll stop answering my texts for a few days, then finally answer. Today at least she's still answering, but slowly. I think she knew I was a dog on some level, I kept trying to break up with her, so why is this so different? Ok, people here say because she doesn't want to be a booty call. If she sleeps with me again what would that mean?
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