Booker43 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 This is going to be hard for me to explain because I'm not even sure why it is that i'm feeling the way that I do. Well I'm in my first long term relationship and we've just hit 6 months, its been great. For the first 2 months we lived in the same residence 2 doors away from each other, the last 4 months we've been home for the summer and long distance, we talked every day and v. Through those 6 months its been easy, we fell in love quick and now we're here. Now she's back in town and we no longer live together, so the relationship suddenly takes some effort, and she doesn't seem to be making any. I guess my problem is that it doesn't seem like she cares about our relationships as much as I do. Now I'll tell you right now that isn't the truth, she loves me and I know I make her happier that she's ever been. But she doesn't notice the fact that she really does make no effort, pretty much every time we've spent together since we've been back has been decided by me, she's never made any suggestions to do anything. The worst part is, she is so afraid to upset me (I don't know why, we've never fought and I've never even come close to being angry with her) that no matter what I decide she'll agree. If I were her and I lived in residence in this situation, I would know how much I wanted to sleep by myself, how much I wanted my significant other to be there or sleep there, how much time I wanted to spend with the house. But she won't tell me, she just agrees with whatever I say cause she thinks it's what I want to hear. There was even a time when we were just lying in bed together and I told her the story about when I fell for her. Then she told her story, but of course, in comparison to my story, if she said she fell for me earlier she would be afriad that would have made her sound too eager, but if she said she fell for me later then I guess she would have thought id be upset if I knew she fell for me after I fell for her or something?? I don't know. So after the big long "ummmm" she told pretty much the exact same story as me. The point is she just won't open up with me, she won't be honest about her feelings. I don't think she even sees this as an issue, but it's been bothering me lately and I think she's noticed cause I've been a little less on the positive and happy side. Of course I could also attribute that to the stress I've been under from work and school. I trust her more than anything, I know she wants this relationship to be as good as it could be as much as I do, but I just don't know what to do, I love her with all of my heart, and when we're together without any of these issues floating around we're happier than we could ever ask to be. She continuously tells me how happy I make her and that she loves me, but she unknowingly shows a lack of effort and she is afraid to be open with me. She's as inexperienced with relationships as I am, and I know she's been hurt in the past, so it's not her fault, but it doesn't make me feel great either. I just want to know what I can do. I know I should talk to her about it but I need more than that, I don't know what to say or whether I should even be concerened right now, any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
Recommended Posts