grogster Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Me either, I swear. Shall we watch some gladiator movies too? Spartacus. That Kirk Douglas is sooo yummy! You bring the popcorn; I'll bring the KY.
carhill Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 OK, gladiator movies aside (love Airplane ), OP, is the 'friend' gay? I'm assuming since they're best friends and you're his friend, you've met the travel buddy.... I've had a few experiences with men who were not openly gay and I can tell you that I felt something "different" from them. A different kind of energy/aura. I just "knew", and later found out I was right.
Author Shygirl15 Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 But if he was, why would he feel comfortable disclosing information such as sharing a room together, something I would have never found out unless he tells me? The friend is straight. He dates here and there, but has not been involved in a LTR. And I haven't met him just yet, but we are likely to meet next weekend when we go to Philly for a football match.
Balthazar Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I disagree. I don't see any issues here. What if the two guys are attending a funeral for a friend out of town and double up to save on the lodging expenses? I'm sure professional sports players share a room when they are out on the road. Point noted. But this a weekend getaway. I'm not sure I'd want to share with a dude. However, I agree with your point that it is not enough evidence to call a guy gay or bi. I stand corrected. I just won't stand with Shygirl's friend behind me.
grogster Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 But if he was, why would he feel comfortable disclosing information such as sharing a room together, something I would have never found out unless he tells me? The friend is straight. He dates here and there, but has not been involved in a LTR. And I haven't met him just yet, but we are likely to meet next weekend when we go to Philly for a football match. How old is the friend? If he's middle-aged, and no LTR's, that's some evidence. If he's a young guy, the lack of LTR's matters less. I'm believe that when it comes to something as fundamental as sexual orientation where there's smoke there's fire. The most we can do is speculate based on available evidence, No one has perfect gaydar.
carhill Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 The friend is straight. He dates here and there, but has not been involved in a LTR. And I haven't met him just yet, but we are likely to meet next weekend when we go to Philly for a football match. If you're feeling cheeky, ask the travel buddy privately if he was getting any strange vibes from your friend. I'd like to sit in on that conversation
Author Shygirl15 Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 How old is the friend? If he's middle-aged, and no LTR's, that's some evidence. If he's a young guy, the lack of LTR's matters less. They're both 42. They are have been buddies since high school.
grogster Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 They're both 42. They are have been buddies since high school. 42 and no LTR's, hmm. While not conclusive evidence of Gayness, it's somewhat probabtive especially given his long time relationship with his travel buddy. The women he dates might be beards.--hetero camoflauge.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 They could be on the "down low". They're straight, but like the back door action.
carhill Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Hey, maybe someone could direct them to this thread and we could get a direct answer OP, when the guy is free to date, ask him out. If you don't feel "him" against you when you kiss goodnight after a fun and intimate date, then think what you will. Until then, all you're doing is poisoning your "love canal" with all this speculation. Fun for us, to be sure, but probably not too healthy for you. JMO...
djhall Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I don't see how we can do anything more than wild speculation with nothing more to go on than a few text posts from a third party who has never met one of the two men in question. We have a 42 year old never married friend who the ex-wife didn't want him to hang around with. Maybe the friend is bi/gay, but maybe he is an irresponsible, screw anything, commitment phobic, vice loving bad influence. So he takes him along on business trips to hang out, get drunk, pick up women, and hit strip clubs without getting any crap from the wife who would notice if he was doing that stuff at home. Given that they have been friends for 20+ years, and most travel packages are based on two people to a room, why go through the hassle and extra expense of changing the package to arrange for separeate rooms instead of a single room with two beds? It isn't everyday that you go to the Virgin Islands for fun with your buddy, so anything that screws up this trip is going to cause major disappointment. He doesn't want the friend to arrive at the last minute instead of the night before. What if the friend hits traffic, oversleeps, has car trouble, gets into an accident, or is just is just plain late and misses the flight? Similarly, he didn't want to go alone, he wanted a friend for fun and company. Now the friend is tired and withdrawn, maybe getting sick or preoccupied with personal problems. Is it unreasonable for him to be worried the friend might not be up for his role as "partner-in-crime" and he might end up vacationing alone, with a friend who is withdrawn and sullen, or with a sick friend who isn't up for having much fun? I realize you have been burned in the past, but you could easily burn a perfectly good relationship by being overly suspicious and paranoid. If you knew both these guys were heterosexual men who wanted to go out of the country and raise hell together, would any of this seem strange to you? Isn't it possible you are seeing suspicious activity for no greater reason than you are looking for something suspicious to find?
Lizzie60 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 He could be gay.. maybe he's just bi.. I've seen 2 buddies going on vacation before and they were straight.. just going to get laid.. nothing wrong with sharing the room.. it's more like sharing the cost than sharing the room..
Author Shygirl15 Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 OP, when the guy is free to date, ask him out. If you don't feel "him" against you when you kiss goodnight after a fun and intimate date, then think what you will. We go out on dates about 2-3 times a week and speak every night. There's very strong chemistry from both sides clearly. We are not seeing other people. Oh, and of course we kiss and make out a lil bit, but we don't go 'there'. 'There' is reserved for November when we'll get celebrate his divorce coming though. Clearly he's stimulated by a woman, but this scenario with his friend is what confuses me. He speaks so passionately of him even his facial expression changes when he begins talking about him. Anyway, perhaps I still have some hangups based on what hppened to me in the past.
Author Shygirl15 Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 I don't see how we can do anything more than wild speculation with nothing more to go on than a few text posts from a third party who has never met one of the two men in question. We have a 42 year old never married friend who the ex-wife didn't want him to hang around with. Maybe the friend is bi/gay, but maybe he is an irresponsible, screw anything, commitment phobic, vice loving bad influence. So he takes him along on business trips to hang out, get drunk, pick up women, and hit strip clubs without getting any crap from the wife who would notice if he was doing that stuff at home. Given that they have been friends for 20+ years, and most travel packages are based on two people to a room, why go through the hassle and extra expense of changing the package to arrange for separeate rooms instead of a single room with two beds? It isn't everyday that you go to the Virgin Islands for fun with your buddy, so anything that screws up this trip is going to cause major disappointment. He doesn't want the friend to arrive at the last minute instead of the night before. What if the friend hits traffic, oversleeps, has car trouble, gets into an accident, or is just is just plain late and misses the flight? Similarly, he didn't want to go alone, he wanted a friend for fun and company. Now the friend is tired and withdrawn, maybe getting sick or preoccupied with personal problems. Is it unreasonable for him to be worried the friend might not be up for his role as "partner-in-crime" and he might end up vacationing alone, with a friend who is withdrawn and sullen, or with a sick friend who isn't up for having much fun? I realize you have been burned in the past, but you could easily burn a perfectly good relationship by being overly suspicious and paranoid. If you knew both these guys were heterosexual men who wanted to go out of the country and raise hell together, would any of this seem strange to you? Isn't it possible you are seeing suspicious activity for no greater reason than you are looking for something suspicious to find? Very interesting perspective. I'm not looking for anything suspicious it's just that I observed a couple of things that made me a little suspicious, that's all. Perhaps I read too much into things. nothing wrong with sharing the room.. it's more like sharing the cost than sharing the room.. I would like to think so. Perhaps share a room and conversation through the night. I really hope this is the case.
djhall Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 ... and conversation through the night. I really hope this is the case. Wait, I thought you hoped they WEREN'T gay!
Author Shygirl15 Posted September 12, 2008 Author Posted September 12, 2008 Wait, I thought you hoped they WEREN'T gay! No, I meant I hope they are sharing a room to just split the cost. I thought that's what Lizzie said, maybe I read too quickly lol
carhill Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 Anyway, perhaps I still have some hangups based on what hppened to me in the past. Ya think?
djhall Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 No, I meant I hope they are sharing a room to just split the cost. I thought that's what Lizzie said, maybe I read too quickly lol Its just a guy thing. You said, "share a room and conversation through the night." To a lot of men, the idea of them talking to each other through the night would be the most gay thing yet in this thread.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 Its just a guy thing. You said, "share a room and conversation through the night." To a lot of men, the idea of them talking to each other through the night would be the most gay thing yet in this thread. I concur. MIght as well have a pillow fight to liven the mood.
carhill Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 You might be surprised how many men enjoy talking to another man if he's not on the typical bigger d!ck, fatter wallet jag My best friend and I can park their RV anywhere and spend days talking about all kinds of things. Just us, the ocean, and occasional annoying interruptions by our wives
djhall Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 I concur. MIght as well have a pillow fight to liven the mood. Pillow fights are awesome, but he has to comb my hair for me afterward!
Author Shygirl15 Posted September 12, 2008 Author Posted September 12, 2008 I'm tired of speculating about things. I was thinking of asking him point blank if he's bi or not when he comes back.
Green Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 Please sounds like homophobia to me. Taking trips with budies is fun, heck when I took a trip with my uncle once we had to share a bed that doesn't automaticaly turn you gay either.
Green Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 I'm tired of speculating about things. I was thinking of asking him point blank if he's bi or not when he comes back. by the way very insulting to straight men
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