Amarles Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 All started 4 yrs ago, we met, we fell in love, we moved in together, we bought the house, got engaged, went for many nice trips together, his parents came visit from overseas, everything was great and then 2 yrs ago he went into silence mode. First I have not realized he is not talking to me anymore but I thought he had some things on his mind and needed a space, I gave him one. one Sunday we woke up, made love, I started talking about having children, and all of a sudden he got up and told me this relationship will not work. My world crumbled. Gave him my ring back. So he apologized and said there is something wrong with him and that he changed and does not have energy he had before he knew me and it is all him. And since I was in school he was afraid when I graduate I will meet someone better than him. I told him I never wanted or thought to be with anybody else, he was my world. He promised to work on it. I tried to reason with him and see where the problem might be, I thought his self esteem needs a boost and always tried to acclaim anything he had done for me or the house, I wanted to help as much as I could. He went overseas for holidays to spend time with his family, which was my idea. Came back and we got engaged again. A year later and the same thing happened, he reminds me that our relationship will not work. But this time it was me, he said my personality was unpleasant like my mother’s, told me that every time we went for vacation that was the worst time ever for him and so on. We have decided to live together until he re-buys the house from me and until I finish school. He asked me not to tell anybody we’re not together to avoid gossip. We continued going to parties together and pretended everything is ok. And I wouldn’t have it the other way since I was still hoping it will pass. I graduated in December and slowly started planning what I will do. I also started going out with my friends but always asked him if he wanted to go. He did not. In the meantime he was getting the paperwork ready to refinance the house under his name so I could be clear of the title. (he wanted the house but had not had a credit to buy so it went under my name, but we were engaged!) I finally decided that I will move with my friend to share apartment and then I will move to another state to continue my education. I was always honest with him about my plans. I have to admit I was hoping the whole time we would not part. I would ask him many times if he wanted to have children, I even told him that if he proposed again and was sure about his decision I would be with him always. He said no and that he will sell the ring and keep the money for vacation. I went out on a few dates with another guy. I told my ex fiancé that I need this as part of me moving on. I was still hoping that if he sees I am separating myself or go out with a guy maybe he will realize we should not brake up. He did not do anything. I set a date to move out in 2 months and my girlfriend started looking out for a place. In the meantime my ex and I planned one last trip together with my family and friends (we did that every year) and we were suppose to tell then everyone that it is over. Well, I left with his sister and he did not go. On the contrary, he then went and told everyone that I cheated on him and that is why he is not going on the trip and it is over. When all our friends arrived at the campground a day later they would not talk to me. I had to explain myself to my parents and tell them the whole truth. I had to move my tent apart from everyone as I heard all our mutual friends talking the worst about me. I went back home. I called my ex fiancé from the road and asked him to move out of the house until he re-buys it. Well, he will not re-buy the house. He moved out and took everything. He never faced me and said or asked me to explain anything. The only thing he said to me over the phone was that I misinterpreted him and that he loved me and now hates me. I just don’t understand. When did I miss it? So that is me. I sit home, found another job to cover expenses, walk my dogs out, can’t sleep, can’t eat, everywhere I go and see people I know they put fingers at me. Now what did I do? Now I feel as if I messed the whole relationship. I can’t stop crying.
happyorb Posted September 13, 2008 Posted September 13, 2008 I don't know why nobody responded to your post. Is it a trick? Do you post it every week and people are tired of replying? I'm new here, so I'll just go for it. I think he sounds terrible, and if you are telling the truth, then he is dishonorable too. Having said that, I think you lost an opportunity. You were alone with all his friends that he had just lied to. That was your platform. That was your chance to do the opposite of moving your tent away. You should have walked into their tents and sat down and said, "I know you heard a story, but you're my friends, and you deserve the truth." And then tell the truth. Sounds like you might have been taken by a budding grifter. Since he took so long and didn't make out very well (I suspect) it was obviously his first try, perhaps something he dreamed up only near the end of the relationship.
Author Amarles Posted September 13, 2008 Author Posted September 13, 2008 hello happyorb, you are right, i should've walked there and tell the truth but i was just too much in shock. all i wanted to do is pack and go right back home. i just did not expect anything like that. i was still calling him and telling him to come and join us. i thought that if all those people were my friends they would come to me and ask me what really happened. also, it is my first post.
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