reservoirdog1 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 im 16 going on 17 and i am crazy in love with her and she said if i break up with her shell kill herself so what do i do Don't take this the wrong way... I know you're only 16... but... GROW UP AND GROW YOUR BALLS BACK!!!!! That ungrateful little whore does not deserve anything from you, least of all your efforts to "help" her change. She does not want your help. She is who she is. She's not going to kill herself -- that's a complete crock. Right now, you are completely under her control and you have absolutely no power in the relationship. She cheats on you repeatedly, and you keep taking her back. She threatens to kill herself, so you don't break up with her. She knows you'll keep taking her back, so she has no motivation whatsoever to change her behaviour. Eventually she'll get tired of you and dump you anyway -- the approach and level of inner strength you're displaying is extremely unattractive to women. You're acting like a puppy that's just been kicked, where you need to be displaying some alpha male assertiveness. If you allow this to continue, it's going to DEFINE YOU as a man for years to come. Mark my words. You will regret staying with her. You'll think of yourself as a weakling who couldn't keep his GF satisfied, who kept taking her back after she betrayed you repeatedly, and your self confidence will go in the toilet. That will spill over into other areas of your life. The most empowering thing you can do -- not just for right now, but for your future happiness and well being -- is to kick her to the curb. Do you have any idea how good it will feel a few months from now to look yourself in the mirror and know that YOU made the strong, decisive choice, rather than waiting for her to inevitably do it for you? Yes, it will hurt. Yes, you will feel sad. But only for awhile. Resist the urge to call her in tears. In pretty short order, your sadness will change into something much more powerful and useful: anger. And when it does, go to the gym. Go out with friends. Talk to other women. If she calls or emails you, do your utmost to sound cheerful, upbeat, and empowered -- like dumping her was the greatest, most liberating thing you've ever done. Better than pining for somebody who isn't worthy of your devotion.
nopainnogain Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 You should leave her. As hard as it may be its best for you. Strict N/C. She will play games n $hit but you gotta stand your ground. Focus on your school and look forward to your career.
Terminator Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 She keeps doing it because you allow her to get away with it. Seriously dude, grow a pair and dump her A$$
Kenyth Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 im 16 going on 17 and i am crazy in love with her and she said if i break up with her shell kill herself so what do i do The best thing you can do for yourself is learn how to break up with someone. The best thing you can do for her, is teach her what happens when you cheat on someone. Move on, and move up.........
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 She isn't going to change because she knows she doesn't have to. She'll continue to cheat, and keep feeding you the "I can't help it" line, and when you try to stand up for yourself she will threaten suicide. The only way to help her change? Show her that her actions have real consequences. Dump her flat. Tell her that since she can't and won't help herself that you can't do anything to help her. Tell her she has a choice: get help for her problems, and you will let her come back when she gets it sorted out, or it is over. When she threatens suicide, call 911 and report a threat of suicide. She will probably not have much of a choice after that. At least though she will be on the right path to getting the help she needs. I can guarantee you this: enabling her and caving in to her demands and poor behavior will not help her.
TigerCub Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 she said if i break up with her shell kill herself so what do i do Roll the dice, dump her and call her bluff...
Kenyth Posted September 12, 2008 Posted September 12, 2008 This is too weird. I'm calling troll! Naaaah, this sounds like the kind of drama teens experience all the time. Nothing new.
Lisa Price Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 Just like all the clichés I started to suspect something was up when my boyfriend of six months became distant and started working late. He also didn't answer the phone when I rang him, and he always had his mobile switched off when we were together. I wanted to check it for text messages but he was really protective of it. I must admit I tried to hack into his e-mail but I couldn't figure out the password. I know I should have talked to him about it but I couldn't face the showdown and guilt if he denied it. My techie friend told me that I should get his mobile phone checked out. So I brought him a new mobile for his birthday, he was gadget mad and loved it, and I assuaged my guilt by thinking that even if I found out nothing, at least he'd still like the present. I got the opportunity to use it a couple of weeks later when he said he was going to the gym, having already been earlier that day. I contacted the http://www.computersleuth.co.uk and had the phone checked, and it had loads of hidden text messages on it from his ex girlfriend. By the time he got home his bags were packed. He didn't have a clue what was happening when I told him to leave, and that I knew he was cheating on me. He didn't deny it. I don't feel ashamed of what I did, but I would have felt very guilty if he was innocent. If you have an inkling it's better to know. If I'd have asked him straight out, I know he would have lied to me. I didn't tell him how I'd done it but all my girlfriends knew and were very impressed. Lisa
cybersister Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 I agree with most of the responses- but you are adamant you want to know how she will change. She has to want to. She needs to understand what is making her act like this- insecurity, lack of self esteem, just too darn horny ( last is unlikely but possible ) and get help. this is where everyone else is right- why should she change if you just keep on taking her back. the only hope I can see is if she owns up to her problem and you agree the help she needs AND you refuse to see her until you know she is taking these steps. Good luck
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