tyrell123 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 ive caught her 3 times and she always tells me she loves me and she dno whats wrong with her she says she needs help i just feel so heartbroken like i would never do anything to hurt her i love her soo much she means the world 2 me im always doing things for her i even proposed she said yh and then she just keeps on doing this and shes always liking other people and always chats to boys somebody tell me what to do i dno what to do
TigerCub Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Simple - dump the whore! Really, I am sorry that you're heartbroken over this, but if you keep putting up with it, why would she stop? You deserve better, so don't waste your time hoping that she'll change and trying to give more of yourself to a worthless bitch that just keeps hurting you, dump her, move on, and find someone worthy of your affection/trust. Good luck
Yamaha Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 she means the world 2 me I'm always doing things for her i even proposed she said yh and then she just keeps on doing this and shes always liking other people and always chats to boys somebody tell me what to do i dno what to do She doesn't respect you, man!!!! You probably treat her like gold and she takes you for granted and believes you will stick around no matter what she does because YOU love her. She's using you man and you have to step up and tell her you will not tolerate it anymore. Remember you are the man so act like it and take back your power. You can't stay with someone who doesn't respect you. Time to find someone who wants to be with just YOU.
Author tyrell123 Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 but i love her soo much its like theres no hope without her can someone tell me a way to like tell her to change like what she could do to change im just so crazy in love with her
Yamaha Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 You have to learn to respect yourself. You seem to believe there is no one but this women and that is untrue. You will not die if you end it with her and in the end you will become a better person because it will give you a chance to find someone who does LOVE YOU ( Yes. I'm saying she does not love you ). Stop living in fear that she will leave you if you stand up to her. You don't have her now and she will never respect you until you respect yourself.
Lizzie60 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 but i love her soo much its like theres no hope without her can someone tell me a way to like tell her to change like what she could do to change im just so crazy in love with her well.. if you love her too much and you think there is no hope without her.. well.. there is not much we can tell you that will convince you otherwise.. you'll eventually see the 'light'..
Author tyrell123 Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 does anybody know away to help me help her change i love this girl sooo much i cant leave her
quankanne Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 but i love her soo much its like theres no hope without her can someone tell me a way to like tell her to change like what she could do to change im just so crazy in love with her Ty, if she hasn't changed by now, she isn't going to. Oh, it's entirely possible that she she CAN, but it's not probable that she will. Because to a woman, when you find that you can walk all over a man and get away with it, that sets the standard for the relationship. Especially if there's no honor or conscience involved on her end of the relationship. this girl knows you're so crazy in love with her that she can flirt with, hug on, kiss – even pork – another man and she'll still be forgiven and taken back. Basically, you're her good old standby because you have no backbone, so to speak. She walks all over you because she knows she can. And now, therefore, OWNS you. putting someone first, being a forgiving person, an honorable person is a good thing, but when someone shamelessly uses that against you to benefit themselves ... well, then those things become negative traits for the person who practices them. as much as you love her, for your emotional well being, you really need to get rid of this chick, because she's poison. Look up "succubus" in the dictionary – I think there's probably her picture next to that entry. you deserve better, man, way way better, because I'm ashamed to say that someone of my own fair sex is a low-down durty dog for treating you this way. if she actually cared for you, she'd have cleaned up her act a long, long time ago because she understood that it was hurting you.
Yamaha Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 You can either end it with her or continue to let her cheat and accept her behavior. The choice is yours.
Author tyrell123 Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 doesnt any1 know away to help her
Enema Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 The only way she'll learn is if she realizes there are consequences for her actions. If you keep taking her back, what's the consequence? You need to break up with her properly and for good. She'll maybe get the picture then and may stop her cheating ways. But of course, the catch is she won't be with you anymore.
In Like Flynn Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 When you say she is cheating on you.....do you mean sex or is some of it online, dates etc??
Red_Apple Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I think that as soon as you end your relationship with her, she will realize that her pursuits with other men are meaningless and will not go anywhere. Then she will most likely go back to you. I don't think there is a way to coerce her into becoming someone she is not (attempting to get help for her). The only help is if you terminate your relationship, forcing her to re-evaluate her actions and take responsibility. She needs that for herself because she obviously has some issues. And you need to end the relationship because you deserve to be happy
D-Lish Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Are you seriously looking for advice on how to change your gf who continuously cheats on you? I'd be looking inward- and thinking about how you might learn to develop self respect. 3 times dude.... THAT YOU KNOW OF. Whatever her problem is... perhaps yours is worse...Why do you think you deserve to be treated like this?
Author tyrell123 Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 im 16 going on 17 and i am crazy in love with her and she said if i break up with her shell kill herself so what do i do
Owl Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 A lot of sound advice has been offered to you on this thread... You can't change her. SHE has to change her. People only change for two reasons...to get something they want, or to get away from something they don't like. So, if you want her to stop cheating, there IS something you can TRY. But honestly, its highly unlikely to work with a serial cheater...which is exactly what she is. First...let her see how wonderful things are with you around. Take her on dates, make her laugh, have deep conversations with her...second...make it VERY, VERY clear if she cheats on you again that you're gone...and there is NO coming back. And you had better mean it, because given your track record with her so far, she's got NO reason to believe you. This MIGHT...BARELY might, work to convince her to stop cheating. Bluntly...I don't give it much chance of success. Some more things to consider...she's cheating right now while you're dating. When things are GOOD, fun, light-hearted. When things are at their BEST. The odds that she'll RESUME her cheating ways later remain astronomical. When things start to lose their luster because you've been together so long, when there's no novelty, when you're worried about stuff. Personally...I agree with the advice you've BEEN given...if she's cheating now, its a HUGE red flag that its going to continue for the rest of her life. You would be a total fool to seek a long term relationship with her. But there you go...
norajane Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 im 16 going on 17 and i am crazy in love with her and she said if i break up with her shell kill herself so what do i do I can't speak to her mental state, but it's likely she's exaggerating just a tiny little bit and will not kill herself if you break up with her. Most likely she'll get upset that you finally stood up for yourself, and showed her she can't always get things her way. You can't change her, but you can show her that actions have consequences and her actions are unkind and unacceptable by breaking up with her. Sometimes people take a long time to learn how to be good people and to treat others well. Looks like your gf is one of those people. Sometimes people take a long time to learn how to expect that others treat them well. Looks like you're one of those people. I just don't see this working out, I'm sorry.
Owl Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Dude...at 16 and 17, you've both got a LOT of learning ahead... One of those learning curves is that at your age, long term monogamy is a very, VERY unlikely thing. Dude...she is NOT the last girl you're going to be with, although it feels that way to you now. Here's what I suggest...back off of her. Drop out of the exclusive dating thing for now...take a break from each other. See where you're at 3 or 4 months from now.
quankanne Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 im 16 going on 17 and i am crazy in love with her and she said if i break up with her shell kill herself so what do i do when my nephew was a junior in high school, he was dating a classmate named Mandy, who sounds a hell of a lot like your girl – she cheated on him, she was pretty witchy to him, she had him wrapped so tight around her little finger that he couldn't breathe without her permission. And yeah, she threatened suicide whenever he'd talk about breaking up with her because he realized that she was basically poison. So for the better part of the school year, he was trapped in the relationship by her threats to kill herself. she dumped him in May, saying she wanted to be free to date other guys, and the boy leaped at the chance, knowing it was his one sure way out of the relationship. He met the girl he eventually married that summer, but guess what? When school started back up, old Mandy wanted him back. Thankfully the boy was in a good, steady and POSITIVE relationship with this new girl, and he was strong enough to tell Mandy to get lost. that was 13 years ago. She found him on MySpace recently, wanted an update and he learned that she's now stripping for money in Los Angeles. While he's been with his dream girl all this time, and now the proud father of a little boy. the moral of the story is, don't give in to terroristic demands – and that's what you're GF is doing, terrorizing you with the thought that she will kill herself. Because YOU don't come out a winner when you do give in! sometimes loving someone takes a backseat to loving yourself enough to walk away from a bad situation. And believe me, this girl is a bad situation.
bish Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 ive caught her 3 times and she always tells me she loves me and she dno whats wrong with her she says she needs help i just feel so heartbroken like i would never do anything to hurt her i love her soo much she means the world 2 me im always doing things for her i even proposed she said yh and then she just keeps on doing this and shes always liking other people and always chats to boys somebody tell me what to do i dno what to do You need to man up and lose this hussbag. Find a decent girl.
bish Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 but i love her soo much its like theres no hope without her can someone tell me a way to like tell her to change like what she could do to change im just so crazy in love with her Why do you love someone that could give a crap about you and spread her legs for other guys? No offense, but you sound like a whipped puppy dog and she has you wrapped around her little cheating finger. But something tells me you are going to hold on to the mirage that you love her and keep letting her walk all over you time and time again.
bish Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 does anybody know away to help me help her change i love this girl sooo much i cant leave her She isn't going to change. My guess is you'll be willing to put up with her cheating just so you can stay with her.
bish Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 im 16 going on 17 and i am crazy in love with her and she said if i break up with her shell kill herself so what do i do What she does to herself after suffering the consequences of her actions is not your concern. As harsh as it may sound, you are not responsible for her psycho cheating decisions. Maybe you can tell her parents that she cheated on you, and that she told you she'll kill herself if you break up. And really, why does she care if you break up? Obviously she has many boys she can rebound with.
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