Dncchick_09 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 So when me and my boyfriend get into fights he lately has been getting violent and been punching me in my arms. It never went too far to the point where hed hit me in my face. But one day he left me to go hang out with his friends and ex girlfriend. So i got mad and me n the ex got into it. So she said to me he just uses you he dont like you n he said hes not with you. So i got extremely mad. I went to where he was at n wanted to tlak to him well he got mad that i stormed in so he started coming at me like he was going to hurt me. Then he started yelling at me so i threw my phone at him. After that he ran after me pushed me onto a car n started choking me n trying to punch me. So i went back into my friends house which is by the house he was at. Then later on he texted me and said he wants to talk about us. So the dumb person i am is okay with it n goes to get him so we went to his house he acted like he was getting out of the car then he comes back in my car and punches me 3 times on the side of my face. Then he punches me in my face 3 times i got a bloody nose my lip was busted blood was gushing out of my mouth and my eye swelled shut. Well right after that i went to the police station and filed a report but i just couldnt press charges. Either way the complaint was going to get sent to the states attorney. Well the day after i didnt talk to him then 2 days later i couldnt even go to school i was in such bad shape. When i was at my friends house he decided to text me. I was so scared for some reason. I havent talked to him hes trying to say everything he can for me to talk to him. I dont know what to do though. I dont want to be with him at all. But for some reason i just think of the good times we had.
Mending1985 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I have been in your exact position before, and I totally empathise with how you're feeling, but you need to end it now. He doesn't care about you if he does that, he has no respect for you! The good times mean nothing compared to the bad things he's putting you through. I hope you can keep up the strength of not talking to him. Best of luck x
The Collector Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Don't throw your phone at someone stronger than you and these things won't happen.
Mending1985 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Don't throw your phone at someone stronger than you and these things won't happen. Oh that's REALLY nice.
The Collector Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Having said that, his reaction went way too far and you should've gone to the police. But maybe you enjoy the drama too much?
The Collector Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Oh that's REALLY nice. Do you think women have the right to throw things, slap, pour drinks over men etc when he has not been physical first?
Mending1985 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Did you not read the whole post? That was an isolated incident, he has obviously hit her before. And she rightly so defends herself. And I have been in that situation, I know what it feels like to try anything you can to defend yourself...maybe you should read the whole thing before you start throwing those sort of comments around! It's not right for ANYONE to physically harm anyone else, I'm a believer in if a girl hits you, you can hit her back but with EQUAL FORCE. You should never use your strength against someone weaker.
Author Dncchick_09 Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 Hes punched me in my arms before ive had bruises all over my arms dark as everr when i didnt do anything. I did go to the police. And He's just messed up in the head and before hes given me a bloody lip before. So it wasnt just me randomly throwing a phone at him
Mending1985 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 That's what I thought. Seriously - leave him. He won't change. They promise they will, they cry and they beg, and they tell you they love you but the fact is, without counselling or some form of therapy, he won't change and will continue to hurt you.
Lizzie60 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 This is a no brainer... leave him... simple.. Next time he touches you.. call the police.. simple..
Lizzie60 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Women are so stupid sometimes. I have to agree..
vonerik012 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Well, of course hitting any woman is wrong... But, especially when younger, many men have had the psycho girlfriend. She hunts you down, gets drunk, throws things, hits you, yells, screams, and then threatens to call the police if you even raise your voice. Drama. I think it is best for him to get away from her, and vice versa... Actually studies have shown more women abuse men, than vice versa. of course it is never reported and just laughed off.
quankanne Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I dont know what to do though. I dont want to be with him at all. But for some reason i just think of the good times we had. I think deep down, you DO know what you should do, but you won't allow yourself to, because those "good" memories have convinced you that you should give him a second chance. He said hitting me was a sign he cares oh HELL NO IT DOESN'T ... the only thing it "says" is that he doesn't even LIKE YOU enough to RESPECT YOU, period. The longer you stay with an abuser, the more likely the chance that the only way you will get out of the relationship is inside a body bag. And believe me, life has much more to offer than being stuck in a relationship with an abusive butt-munch like your BF. but until you can accept that reality, nothing is going to change for you.
amymarieca Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Why do women continue to make excuses for jerks like these? There is never a good reason for hitting someone. EVER. I would say that if you choose to stay with this guy, you have some serious self-esteem issues. I would never stay in a relationship like this. The last guy I dated became verbally abusive and I kicked his ass to the curb. You deserve way better than this. Don't you believe that?
porter218 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Well, of course hitting any woman is wrong... But, especially when younger, many men have had the psycho girlfriend. She hunts you down, gets drunk, throws things, hits you, yells, screams, and then threatens to call the police if you even raise your voice. Drama. I think it is best for him to get away from her, and vice versa... Actually studies have shown more women abuse men, than vice versa. of course it is never reported and just laughed off. I only do it when he deserves it .
Mending1985 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I only do it when he deserves it . :lmao:
xpaperxcutx Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 You should have pressed charges. Abuse is a serious issue that needs to be addressed.
Green Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I'm sure you weren't little miss inocent in this but men are alot stronger then women so he shouldn't have kicked your ass like that, fool you once shame on him... go back to him and get your ass kicked again then shame on you
flc Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 There is no place for physical violence in a relationship on either side. If it happens once leave, there is no discussion on this.
FLOWERSTARS Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Why are you doing this to yourself? What or who has made you feel that you deserve to put up with this? Are you afraid to leave?
nicki Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Take it from someone who has been in an abusive relationship, you deserve better! He is broken and is trying to (literally) break you! It's not your fault he is the way he is. He has many choices, and he chooses to be violent. He's a classic abuser. His behavior will only escalate. He may kill you. It's hard to leave, I know, but you absolutely must get away from him now, while you are still strong and angry about what he did....before you get sucked back into the hope he will change. Kill all hope. He is a bad person who hurts you and will continue to hurt you. Tell someone close to you. Your friends can be strong for you and keep him away from you. And, yes, call the police if he touches you again. But don't give him the chance to touch you. Stay away. Call the local women's shelter. They have counselors who will talk through this with you. Your thinking is off right now. You need to know that. Their thinking is sound. Call. They will tell you what to do. Then do it. PM me if you need to. Be very careful of him.
mark982 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 lady,run fast, run hard. just go.it WILL get worse.my ex wife was abusive, and it will go down hill.
Jersey Shortie Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 You need to leave this relationship and him. Hitting someone does NOT mean they care about you. He might enjoy and care about controling you but he doesn't care aboutyou as a person or as a woman. Well, of course hitting any woman is wrong... But, especially when younger, many men have had the psycho girlfriend. She hunts you down, gets drunk, throws things, hits you, yells, screams, and then threatens to call the police if you even raise your voice. Drama. I think it is best for him to get away from her, and vice versa... Actually studies have shown more women abuse men, than vice versa. of course it is never reported and just laughed off. Many men over use the term psycho girlfriend to make themselves feel better. "Man she turned into a total pyscho when she found me in bed with her best friend, I couldn't believe it!". I don't know ANY of my girflriends that have thrown or hit a boyfriend. Do you actaully want to offer advice or just more of your "women are evil" comments?
carhill Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 But for some reason i just think of the good times we hadTrauma response. It's a coping mechanism. Survival of the psyche. It's normal. You're normal. You've been assaulted. Realize that it will pass. You'll be healthy again. Don't have any contact with him for a month and see how you feel then. I bet one month will turn into two and so on and so forth. This means not reading his texts, listening to his VM's, nothing. Come back here when you need help, if you have a hard time sharing these things with friends/family. Check with your school to see if they offer counseling. It should help. Hang in there
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