Mending1985 Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 I've just started dating a guy who is the same height as me. Exactly the same height. I've always dated taller guys in the past. He's also skinnier than me. Again, I've always dated bigger guys in the past. Now I like this guy, but I haven't gotten naked with him yet, and I'm a bit concerned he'll be turned off because I'm obviously bigger than him, I mean top half is not a problem, but I'm a pear shape so I have naturally bigger thighs and butt, and I don't know, I'm stressing. And the more I stress, the more I'm making his height an issue in my head as well. Opinions on the attraction thing would be appreciated, and I'd also love to hear from any girls who don't have a problem dating guys who are as tall or shorter than they are! Thanks x
rod_in_gtown Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 I'm biased because I was recently "dismissed" by a woman I dated and slept with briefly. we're the same height she said she couldn't handle it. It hurt but if this is an issue for you, you should probably end it before you get physical.
Lishy Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 I would find it hard too! I dont know what to advise other than go with your head not your heart as this stage. On a side note, I think he already knows you are bigger than him and I am sure he will love it!
Author Mending1985 Posted September 10, 2008 Author Posted September 10, 2008 It's not really an issue for me - I'm really into this guy, I think I'm more worried that it might be an issue for him...I mean we were talking last night and I was talking about how I had personal training tonight and he said "Yeah I totally need to go to the gym" and I said "What? Why? I've got more fat on me than you do!" and he responded with "No way! You've got a great body" And I try to take confidence from that, but I don't know. It's not so much the height thing, it's the size thing. I feel fat around him. If he was short and built, no problem, same as if he was tall and skinny, no issue, but yeah he's kinda both and my self esteem is dipping a little thats all...
OpenBook Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 I don't know why you're worried about what he thinks of you. He's dating you! Men don't waste time on women they're not attracted to. Own it, girlfriend - you're hot!! You should be evaluating HIM right now. Are you attracted? Does he bring out the animal desire in you? Is he smokin'??
rod_in_gtown Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 Don't be so insecure, my ex gf was 5'11 and 175 lbs. She was not a stick and I loved every curve on her body.
Author Mending1985 Posted September 10, 2008 Author Posted September 10, 2008 For the first time I'm attracted to someone because I think he is an AMAZING person - we are always talking about something, we laugh at the same jokes, watch the same TV shows, like the same movies - everything! I've never had this much in common with a person. And yeah, the lust is totally happening at the moment as well lol Argh I just don't want to turn him off! But yeah you're right, if he wasn't interested, he wouldn't be calling me!
Author Mending1985 Posted September 10, 2008 Author Posted September 10, 2008 Don't be so insecure, my ex gf was 5'11 and 175 lbs. She was not a stick and I loved every curve on her body. Thanks Rod - that actually makes me feel lots better!!!
Lishy Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 Oh honey if you really like this guy it would be a shame to worry Please do not think for a minute that he thinks you are Kate Moss and will get a shock to see you have curves. Whether you like it or not he knows what to expect so these are your own issues that you need to sort out before you get jiggy! *If he had a belly that poked over his jeans you would not expect to see ripped muscles when he took his top off would you?*
Author Mending1985 Posted September 10, 2008 Author Posted September 10, 2008 Thanks Lishy I've just gotta stop worrying! It's the first guy I've liked since the disaster that was my last breakup so I'm all nervy and jittery and insecure lol it's terrible - I haven't felt like this in years! Thanks for the advice everyone :bunny:
Lishy Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 Mending, enjoy that feeling dont hate it, it is so exciting at the beginning of a relationship with someone you really like, and lets be honest it is hard to meet someone you really like so why get stressed over something you cannot change? He likes you, curves and all!
KinAZ Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 Generally speaking, if a guy is with you it's because you're his type physically. I'm not sure how old you guys are, but as long as he isn't totally inexperienced you shouldn't be worried about him being surprised by a naked you. A guy dating one tall skinny girl now will more than likely date another one later. When I've run into exes on dates or trying to flirt with other women, those other women usually had at least a few things in common with me physically.
Author Mending1985 Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 I'm 23 and he's 25. I know he's got experience, and when I made a joking reference to being a whole lotta woman he said he loved it so we'l see
Lucky_One Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 OMG OMG OMG!! I love men who are my height!!! They are the best EVER to date, make love with, kiss, snuggle with, dance with! When you spoon, you can flip over and spoon the other way, bc your bodies mesh perfectly no matter who is in back. No one's neck gets a crick from standing and kissing. You can whisper in his ear while you slow dance, or give him a little lobe nibble, and your groins are exactly matched so you can feel if he desires you. The couch isn't too short (or too narrow!), so you can put your head on his chest and snooze away Sunday afternoons watching old Katherine Hepburn movies on TNT. When you make love, his chin isn't digging into the top of your head - you are mouth to mouth, eye to eye, nipple to nipple. You don't have to have a monstrous king sized bed, and you can even buy a lovely bed that has a footboard, and your room won't be taken up with nothing but mattress. You can have lovely teeny Porsche Boxsters and his head won't hit the roof and his legs won't be folded up under his chin. You won't feel quite so tempted to wear high heels that will ruin your feet and hurt your back for the rest of your life. I will never ever ever ever understand women who have a height requirement, of all the silly things in the world. A man who can look directly in your eyes? Heaven!!! Hurrah for the short men in the world!!!
Lucky_One Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Oh - and as for your curves? Men love a curve. Of course you have more fat - you're a girl, silly! Fat is for babies; wide hips are for childbirth. That is the classic desirable women's shape that men have worshipped and longed for for centuries. It would be a sad world if all women were bone skinny and children had no soft laps and men had no bosoms to lay their heads on. We cinch in our waists on our dresses, and we add flaring pleats to accentuate that hourglass shape - all to entice the opposite sex.
Author Mending1985 Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 I never even thought of it that way Lucky_One!! Thank you so much!!!
Trialbyfire Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Mending, everyone is right. No guy would ask you out if you weren't his body type! Even more telling, there's some chemistry happening. This doesn't happen with a guy who's not attracted. Enjoy it and stop worrying, okay?
Crestfallen_KH Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Also, stop making "jokes" about your shape and body. Right now, he's happy to oblige your search for reassurance with compliments, but it will get old very quickly and he'll just start seeing you as insecure, which is very unattractive. Own your shape and work it!
Prodigal Princess Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Also, stop making "jokes" about your shape and body. Right now, he's happy to oblige your search for reassurance with compliments, but it will get old very quickly and he'll just start seeing you as insecure, which is very unattractive. Own your shape and work it! Crest is 100% right, as is everyone else who posted on this thread. I'll just add that he is probably feeling just as insecure as you, only about his height and skinniness. So the less you make of the issue, the better.
trubella Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 and I'd also love to hear from any girls who don't have a problem dating guys who are as tall or shorter than they are! Thanks x yep this is me, ive never been able to date a guy shorter than me or same height, they have to be taller than me. im 5'5 so i think it would be kinda odd dating someone my height. my current bf is 6ft which is perfect to me.
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