Crestfallen_KH Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 Are guys ever interested in meeting a girl to just make a friend? Or is there always an underlying hope or desire for something more (which, of course, may change upon actually meeting)? I'm specifically referring to meeting someone online.
joshaz Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 No. Personally my online ads are for the specific purpose of dating... Not that more friends aren't nice, but it's not really the main goal.
rod_in_gtown Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 Well, it all depends. if I like a girl I might give "friends" a chance until I'm comfortable enought to make a move. But don't bank on the guy becoming your bff.
Author Crestfallen_KH Posted September 10, 2008 Author Posted September 10, 2008 So if a guy says that he's really just looking to make a friend right now, it's BS? Part of me thinks guys (and gals) put that in as a failsafe. So, if they aren't interested, they can say "Oh, well, I said I just wanted to be FRIENDS, so you can't get mad/be hurt/whatever." Personally, I'd love to be friends first but I've never thought guys operated that way...
rod_in_gtown Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 Oh! I thought you were going in on the date as "Friends" and he wasn't. I'm not opposed to being friends first... but guys online don't usually go for that. You should ask him on the first date I kind of like it when girls ask me the tough questions on a first date. Am I weird?
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Personally, I'd love to be friends first but I've never thought guys operated that way... They generally don't, online or otherwise. I think it would be pretty rare for a straight guy to seek out a girl to be friends with for no other reason than to be friends. Even if she is not sexually attractive to him, there is usually some other reason. If he is looking online for friends, then it would be safe to say I think that 'friends' is meant to act as a filter to see if you are datable first, rather than an magnet to draw you into a genuine friendship. Straight guys can become friends with girls that they initially wanted to have sex with, but somewhere in the back of their mind they will still think about having sex with her (unless she is not attractive to him).
fral945 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I think LB hit the nail on the head. Guys usually get female friends because at one time they were pursuing the girl sexually but eventually gave up or realized they didn't have a chance. You should assume most men that are nice to you (other than general pleasantries) that you meet online probably have some sexual interest in you. Otherwise, why would they contact you?
Author Crestfallen_KH Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 Well, I contacted him. But yeah, I agree with LB, and the "filter" part is basically my belief as well. I do think guys can be friends with women and have no sexual attraction to them, but yeah, I don't think guys generally "go after" that kind of relationship. I think those friendships are usually formed accidentally or incidentally (e.g., grew up together).
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