D-Lish Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Why would it be degrading to relinquish control? To be honest, most women are not NATURALLY out for power. I think the sex makes sense as well. It isn't about being a doormat, it is about being a true woman. Work is work. Relationships are a different manner. You know you don't really want to call all the shots, as you would rather follow a mans lead whom you respect. Would you rather take care of a man, or be taken care of? I am guessing the latter. When it comes to relationships maybe quit the quest for being "equal" as you are actually just lowering yourself, and turning men off in the process. HOLY CRAP!! You just changed my entire life with your post. I no longer want to enjoy equality in a relationship. Thank you so much... I am THROUGH thinking for myself.
vonerik012 Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Of course you should think for yourself. Where did I state you should not? A smart women is more than equal in a relationship. A naive one lowers herself to a mans level by bickering ,trying to control him, under the guise of trying to be "equal". But do you think it is by sheer coincidence that you prefer to be dominated in bed?
Green Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I invented the most dominating sexual move back in the 90' s I didn't have an oportunity to try it out until early 2000 but what I have dubbed the dominator allows you to dominate a woman in a series of sexual chess moves with a very dominating check and mate. And although I like getting rough it doesnt necisarily have to be that way to dominate, just do what you want and get your way thats domination.
grogster Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Oh i do like the pull the hair thing, and we have discussed that, its not rough pull its get a handfull and hold on tight, and yes some of the dominance thing allows you to be submissive when you have been the sexual iniater (my marriage) most of the time, As he said it allows me to let him be in control, he has never been to rough at all, and i have noticed he can get verbally agressive which spurs me on. I guess I can just let him push the envelope a little and see how he feels, because of child abuse i associate spanking with hitting with abuse? It sounds as if BDSM-lite would be good for you. No smacking or flogging but mild hair pulling, some rough talk and general dominance in bed. I've had a couple BDSM-lite relationships, and they were fun. My last GF, was totally into it. I remember asking her if she was was satisfied with our sexual relationship, and she responded, "Yes, but you don't spank and flog me enough." Well, I quickly remedied that problem.
Taramere Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 ;He says he likes to be mildly dominate in bed, mentioned once might spanke, informed him not to do that as it flashes to abuse for me, he have never attempted that, I am just not sure what dominate in the bed means, as I would like to make sure he is getting what he needs, ?? Could mean anything, but it's probably best to assume that he's willing to get as rough as you're able to take....and, for the purposes of keeping yourself as safe as possible, to put some effort into figuring out what the odds are of him taking it beyond that. I have pretty mixed feelings on this subject. On one hand, I regard a certain amount of submissiveness as being feminine and do quite enjoy being ordered around by someone who can do that in a cool way rather than in a manner that's pompous and ridiculous. On the other hand, sometimes it seems as though women are now competing with gay men in various ways relating to sexuality. As though there's an increasing pressure on us to prove in the bedroom that we can take the rough treatment as well as any big, tough man can. In your shoes I'd be starting to explore his views regarding gay male sex, whether he has a preference for "one of the guys" type women. But that's just me and my personal theories - and I'm on a bit of a homo-eroticism roll today. How far do you want to go with this? Do you have some awareness of your physical and psychological limits, or is this something you'd be testing out with a blindfold on in every sense?
Author iceis44 Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 But according to this: mentioned once might spanke, informed him not to do that as it flashes to abuse That's a pretty bad start, this is not going to fly. the spank discussion was very pre any sexual involvement, a spank thing i am afraid would be a total turn off to me, hold my wrists down any day tho honey
Author iceis44 Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 Could mean anything, but it's probably best to assume that he's willing to get as rough as you're able to take....and, for the purposes of keeping yourself as safe as possible, to put some effort into figuring out what the odds are of him taking it beyond that. I have pretty mixed feelings on this subject. On one hand, I regard a certain amount of submissiveness as being feminine and do quite enjoy being ordered around by someone who can do that in a cool way rather than in a manner that's pompous and ridiculous. On the other hand, sometimes it seems as though women are now competing with gay men in various ways relating to sexuality. As though there's an increasing pressure on us to prove in the bedroom that we can take the rough treatment as well as any big, tough man can. In your shoes I'd be starting to explore his views regarding gay male sex, whether he has a preference for "one of the guys" type women. But that's just me and my personal theories - and I'm on a bit of a homo-eroticism roll today. How far do you want to go with this? Do you have some awareness of your physical and psychological limits, or is this something you'd be testing out with a blindfold on in every sense? He seems to enjoy being able to tell me "what he is going to do" which is fun and a turn on, but me being me, i respond in kind with like yesterday i said "MAKE ME" ha that is part of being me, i dont give in easily, but is that "buffing" his dominance desire, or feeding it Ha I want to feed not challange him. I tell him "hey your the one that picked the loud one in the front row"
Jersey Shortie Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 here is my question, Sexually this man is over the moon, is amazing makes me feel wonderful and desired, sexually attractive, leaves no stone unturned if you get my point. Is there a store where I can pick one of these up?
Author iceis44 Posted September 17, 2008 Author Posted September 17, 2008 Is there a store where I can pick one of these up? I told him he could have a class, and make millions!! He was sitting right under my nose for a year, they always say quit looking and thats when you find them. As far as i was concerned i didnt care if i never was with another man in my life. But we were friends long before we were intimate, which i might mention matted my hair, found my mulitipule game plan, first time in my life i was looking for something to eat afterwards (like in the movies). We are friends formost I think that has helped more than anything
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