i need something??

[nab0610]

i'm 20 and in college to start

 

ok so i was almost engaged to my ex...my first love...my first real girlfriend

 

when things changed...she started smoking...we started arguing...whatever don't really want to go into it

 

we broke up

 

before we started dating i never really dated anyone at all...i just didn't care for it partly because i felt unattractive

 

well then i met my ex when i started college...we fell in love quickly...

 

this is when things get a little hard to explain...

 

I had this drive inside of me...this little something that i felt like made me able to do great things to work towards being a better person

 

i was able to improve myself...to make myself better...to live up to that potential that you know you have...i started working out going to the gym...i lost about 40 pounds and got into shape

 

well its been 7 months now...i went through alot of downs but i find myself to be still down even tho i try to convince myself i'm not

 

i've had next to no success with women since we broke up...i screwed up things with a girl who really liked me...because of well pure stupidity

 

i had another girl a co-worker who i'd just met who took an interest in me and i really did like her...she sent me a few messages...then i found out she had a bf for about a year and i backed off partly because i pretty much lost my ex to another guy

 

basically what i'm saying is i need something/anything to give me that drive i once had...i've tried with some woman but i feel like i'm desperate in my head...i don't think i appear that way as i try not to come off strong...but i don't kno i'm inexperienced at best

 

before i started dating i never felt like i needed that something, but now i feel like i do

 

ps since we broke up i've gained 15 pounds i'm doing everything i can to not gain weight but i just feel like i'm obsessing and slipping

[BCCA]

Well, your 20. Chances are, the only "luck" you'll have with women follows last call at your local bar (when you're 21). People your age should really just be out there enjoying themsleves and figuring out what they like. Don't get hung up on the idea that the next girl who seems interested is going to be "the one" because it's not likely. Love, like anything, comes when you least expect it.

 

All you can do for yourself is continue doing things for yourself (working out) and just get out there and meet people, and try to keep your spirits up. People are attacted to happiness and the better your attitude, the better chances you'll have.

 

Just get a few casual dates here and there, or do what I do - MAKE yourself talk to the next good looking girl you see. Even if she looks disgusted and walks away, who cares? At least you're learning what to say and how to be confident!