JohnnyCakes Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 First time poster here looking for some major advice. So if this goes on and on, Im sorry. I am in my 20s and still relatively inexperienced with girls. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of girls in my life, albeit in the friend zone and girls with bfs flirt with me a lot, but that is a post for another time (Maybe tomorrow lol). Anywho, there is a girl I work with that I am about 85% sure likes me, but for some reason i put these mental barriers in my mind to stop me from asking her out. Partly because Im not sure if she really does like or is just another one of those playful girls. It started about six months ago. We used to work in different areas, but whenever I would come near to where she worked, she would immediately stop what she was doing and track me down, sometimes in midconversation with other people. From there she would follow me around, laugh any my ridiculous jokes. She would make it a point to either rub my back or even scratch it out of nowhere. However, during this time period, she had recently broke up with her bf, so a lot of the conversation centered around this guy. I took that as a sign that she wasnt over him completely and backed off. Fast forward to present day... She now works in the same area as I do. She still makes it a point to talk to me a lot. Still very flirtatious and handsy, even moreso than before. For instance she is very playful with me, she recently taped some thing on my back, but also rubbed my shoulders too. Was that even necessary? lol She calls me lovable, darling, and even likes to pretend that she is engaged to me. I do notice that she still speaks of her ex, but not to the degree or magnitude like before, its almost as he is now just a friend. I still am unsure if she likes me though. She still laughs at my jokes, gets real close when we talk, when we are side by side, she rubs alongside me to nudge me left or right. I look for body language cues, but dont have a clue what to look for . Now, i really want to ask her out, but other than that insecurity, i have those damn mental barriers. For instance, we work together (Probably the biggest barrier for me). Even if she worked in her old department, I would still be cautious. I really have no interest in becoming people's gossip. Her younger sister who also works with us is engaged to someone who is a known gossip junkie. I really don't like that aspect, because i see how other work couples are talked about, and I don't like it. Secondly, for the longest time, i convinced myself that i didnt like her because we didnt have the same interests. She was more of a tech, sci-fi, fan. Me, more so all american, football, baseball, history channel kind of guy. Her ex had all the same interests as her. I just have my sense of humor she likes. Thirdly, which relates to the work issue. A lot of my friends and coworkers dont like or care for her. I really don't know why, she seems genuine around me. I think they only judge her by her work performance. She isnt the worst worker in the company. My friends are important to me, and I dont see how a conflict with a potential girlfriend and my friends is good for anybody. Lastly, i used to complain how she would follow me around so much. I did this probably as a way to mask my hidden feelings for her. Now, if it turns out that I ask her out, I'll be viewed as a giant hypocrite. She is really cute, she is funny, intellectual, and I think an overall good person. I dont know if I should just chalk it up as a crush and let the feelings subside, but all I know, I havent felt this way about a girl in awhile. Already long story, short, does she like me? What are things to look for to see if she really does? Should I ask her out despite what my brain thinks? I feel like Jerry on Seinfeld where his brain is playing chess with his other head lol. Thanx.
TDiddy98 Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 Does she like you? Let me just say this: I am one of the WORST people on the planet at judging whether or not a girl likes me by her actions, and even I would think she was into me based on what you said there! So more than likely she does have interest in you. From what you said, it sounds like you do have some interest in her as well, at least on the surface. You make some very valid points about mixing up with a co-worker, which I know can become difficult. To me, the most important thing is the fact that you feel your interests are way too different; that could be a problem in the long run. My advice would be that if you really have feelings for this girl, ask her out for coffee (or something similar). This will give you an opportunity to get to know each other, and if your interests really clash you will know.
silverstar189 Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 i'm a genuine idiot when it comes to noticing these things and am in no position to give advice. nudging/touching seems a good sign though. your situation sounds a little like mine was at first (the find a rock and crawl under it thread). feel free to look at this thread and use it as an example of how you definitely should not act!
CaliGuy Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 Duh, she likes you. I would recommend against dating co-workers though. Done it once, won't do it again. If she were to leave the company or you, then I'd say go for it.
Balthazar Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 Considering the reservations you already have about the issue, I think you are better off following Cali Guy's advice and leave her be for the time being. Cheers,
TurtlePower Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Already long story, short, does she like me? What are things to look for to see if she really does? Should I ask her out despite what my brain thinks? I feel like Jerry on Seinfeld where his brain is playing chess with his other head lol. Thanx. Well, if you remember correctly, the brain beat his other 'head' haha. So what does that tell you? But, if I were in your shoes, I would wade through the waters cautiously. It would be one thing if you guys could keep the relationship private, out of the public eye, but with her little sister working with you and gossip king fiance, that would probably never happen. The recommendation for coffee was a good idea. Best of luck dude!
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