For those who have or know of someone suffering from depression

[blair08]

Has anyone ever suffered from depression and not gotten any kind of help for it? Or maybe you have known someone who was depressed and did not seek help.

 

I would think if depression went left untreated it would get worse? Or things maybe would stay the same and not improve to get beter.

Let's say the person depressed know they are depressed has all the "depression" symptoms I guess you could say but wont go get help. Is it because theya re so far into the depression they figure why bother? Do they not care? Just not thinking clearly?

[Meaplus3]

Has anyone ever suffered from depression and not gotten any kind of help for it? Or maybe you have known someone who was depressed and did not seek help.

 

I would think if depression went left untreated it would get worse? Or things maybe would stay the same and not improve to get beter.

Let's say the person depressed know they are depressed has all the "depression" symptoms I guess you could say but wont go get help. Is it because theya re so far into the depression they figure why bother? Do they not care? Just not thinking clearly?

 

I have a friend who became very depressed at one point in her life. I know for her.. she was simply afraid to seek help. Finally.. after a while she did end up going to her doctor and was put on an anti depressant. She also started Therapy.. and today she is a like a new person.. She is very upbeat and happy.

 

AP:)

[blair08]

I have a friend who became very depressed at one point in her life. I know for her.. she was simply afraid to seek help. Finally.. after a while she did end up going to her doctor and was put on an anti depressant. She also started Therapy.. and today she is a like a new person.. She is very upbeat and happy.

 

AP:)

 

That is wonderful news. Maybe sometimes it might take a person to hit rock bottom before they will seek help and even that is no gurantee.

 

The reason I had asked was, my brothers wife, my ssiter in law, has been suffering from depression for years now, and has yet to seek help. We have all been there for her, tried to help, lend support etc. My brother I feel kind of bad for him, he feels like he is stuck between a rock and a hard place. He loves her, wants her to get better, and seek help. He has talked to her, been there for her, everything you can think of, BUT he is now tired, and feels like his hands are tied because he hates to see her like this, and to think so little of herslef to NOT get some help. He says after years of this going on it has taken a toll on the marriage, he doesn't know if she will ever seek help. Her depression is effecting everyone that loves and cares for her.

 

I just have often wondered about those who don't seek help and what will happen if they don't.

[Meaplus3]

That is wonderful news. Maybe sometimes it might take a person to hit rock bottom before they will seek help and even that is no gurantee.

 

The reason I had asked was, my brothers wife, my ssiter in law, has been suffering from depression for years now, and has yet to seek help. We have all been there for her, tried to help, lend support etc. My brother I feel kind of bad for him, he feels like he is stuck between a rock and a hard place. He loves her, wants her to get better, and seek help. He has talked to her, been there for her, everything you can think of, BUT he is now tired, and feels like his hands are tied because he hates to see her like this, and to think so little of herslef to NOT get some help. He says after years of this going on it has taken a toll on the marriage, he doesn't know if she will ever seek help. Her depression is effecting everyone that loves and cares for her.

 

I just have often wondered about those who don't seek help and what will happen if they don't.

 

 

Yes.. it was remarkable to see how my friend changed and was given back her life.

 

Since your Brothers marriage is suffering, I'm wondering if perhaps.. a marriage counselor would be a good idea. Mabey a MC could assess your SIL and give her some guidance towards seeking help for her depression. Just a thought.

 

AP:)

[EnigmasMuse]

Untreated depression that has gone on for awhile can have serious effects. It not only hurts the one with it, but all people involved. People with untreated depression can have a high rate of sucide. Google untreated depression, it should give you some kind of idea on the issue.

[quankanne]

he doesn't know if she will ever seek help.

 

tell him to contact her regular doctor as soon as possible, and to be prepared to share with Doc all the changes he's noticed. Like, before when things would happen, she'd get upset/angry, then work through them until the situation resolved, but now she doesn't even try. Or that she seems to become anxious more easily about things that never used to bug her before. Or any unusual behaviors she's exhibited that are new. Because that helps the doctor establish a framework of what she was like six months ago/a year ago, and now. And he will know what measures to take.

 

i cannot speak highly enough of my doctor, who stepped in when I didn't even know how to ask for help. My mother was dying in South Texas, and my mother-in-law was dying in Alabama, and it was taking a toll on us emotionally. Physically, too, for me, because I was making a 700-mile roundtrip to be with my mother 2-3 times a month while working fulltime during our busy season at the paper. Throw into it the fact that my mom and I were incredibly close, which made it just that much harder ...

 

I knew something was changing inside me mentally, but I kept thinking that it was minor, and I could handle it. But all that stress added up and thankfully, my doctor and his nurse picked up on it when I went in for regular visits. he put me on Wellbutrin, and gradually, I got back to a point where I was before my mom got to the bad stage of her health (I was doing things for fun and enjoyment, and not sleeping all the time like I had been during the worst of it because I was so damned worn out). Our moms died six months apart, and I knew the pills were working because I handled MiL's death much better than my mother's, even though we made to back-to-back trips to Alabama for a visit, then the funeral in a matter of a day and we were worn out.

 

my guess is that your wife understands something is going on, is different, but because it's been so gradual she doesn't realize JUST how different those changes have made her. I know I felt like I was still a part of things, but I was seeing them happen from underwater. You know, very detached. And the things that I loved no longer brought me joy – I was considering quitting my job, which everyone knows I love dearly!

 

so get her medical professional involved by sharing your concerns. The doctor will know how to approach your wife and will do what he/she can to help her.

 

right now your wife really isn't herself, but is incapable of recognizing that because she may think it's only affecting her in a minor way, you know?

 

good luck, and keep us posted

[Lizzie60]

Has anyone ever suffered from depression and not gotten any kind of help for it? Or maybe you have known someone who was depressed and did not seek help.

 

I would think if depression went left untreated it would get worse? Or things maybe would stay the same and not improve to get beter.

Let's say the person depressed know they are depressed has all the "depression" symptoms I guess you could say but wont go get help. Is it because theya re so far into the depression they figure why bother? Do they not care? Just not thinking clearly?

 

I don't know about people who suffered depression and have not seek help.. I had depression for 6 years.. and hit the bottom, so I guess I didn't have much choice.. but to get some medication at one point.. I also had therapy.. but as far as I'm concerned.. medication was the biggest part of my recovery.

[blair08]

-EM-, thanks I checked out some sites on untreated depression!

 

-quank- He told me he was thinking of mentioning it to her doctor. He even asked her why she had not told her own doc, and she said she would, well that was a few years back and has yet to do it. She admits she is depressed. Nothing is worth while to her anymore. She has told her husband(my brother) she wont try anything anymore because it wont matter anyway. That seems to be her mindset with alot of things, "why bother". To complicate things further she also drinks. My guess to numb the pain or perhaps she feels that is her way of coping. She has always had somewhat of a drinking issue though. Of course now it seems to be worse. I know that wont help anything at all too! She's big time into blaming others or fainding fault. She accepts no responsbilty for anything, but when she is down and out she will say she is depressed. I think she needs meds too and some counseling. I hope he can talk to her doc soon.

 

-Lizzie-I think meds do the trick for some people sometimes. I hope it will for her. Or at least something will. Its just a matter of getting her to see that she needs help and actually gets it.

[quankanne]

That seems to be her mindset with alot of things, "why bother".

 

do you think that she feels if she gets treatment, there go her drinking days? Sometimes people feel that it's much more important to hang on to their vices than to let their bodies/minds heal!

[donnamorta]

I will personally admit my run-in with depression. I'm experiencing it right now! Let's see... 24 years old with almost $100,000 in debt from college, no job for 3 months, a list of ex-relationships with names of people who can't even pick up the phone to hear me say "I'm joining the Army", a brother who disowned me, and 0 friends!

 

But, I have 2 amazing, loving, wonderful parents and I've been exercising like a mad man day after day so I can feel great

 

Despite my reason for working out is only to battle my insane amount of feeling lethargic with alarming rates of negativity... I'd say things will start looking up soon.

 

I think things get VERY bad, then you hit rock bottom, start becoming positive in your own mind (my stage), and then fate and faith and all of that jazz takes over

 

That's what I'm hoping, anyway!

 

However... I do hope my mental health becomes a bit better and I can stop worrying and thinking so critically about everything under the sun...

[blair08]

That seems to be her mindset with alot of things, "why bother".

 

do you think that she feels if she gets treatment, there go her drinking days? Sometimes people feel that it's much more important to hang on to their vices than to let their bodies/minds heal!

 

 

It very well could be the case. I asked my brother if he feels that maybe she is in denial about things? You know kind of like the saying, "You can't change what you wont acknowledge." He said he used to think that was the case, but now he says he feels she knows what the deal is, and just refuses to own up to things and seek out help. I do know (and this may sound strange) but she is a very prideful person. Most of the time when I think of pride I think men more so than women. Not that women can't be prideful, they obviously can.

 

He said he felt pride might play a role too. I do think some people are comfortable or can be, in their own misery, and its a shame, because things will never get resolved that way.

[warpSpider]

I think the most important factor in someone 'avoiding' treatment would be the fact that the whole condition could be summed up with the phrase 'why bother?'

I've been referred to a specialist by my GP many times but each time I lie at home, wilfully missing the appointment because theres apparently little to no point in seeking help for a life that is pointless (or so it seems a the time).

It's this state of lethargy and self-hate that characterises the condition, and is the biggest obstacle to getting help. I've also found it futile to try and rationalize with the sufferer (whether it's yourself or others) when trying to convince them to seek help, as it's an irrational condition.

One thing I would say, as previous posters have commented on, is that a recovery can be made without treatment, depending (I believe) on the individual situation in question i.e. a relief of debt. I'm not sure if that would apply in this case though.

You could maybe think of it like an addiction? Eventually they will come around and seek help, but only when they're ready.

Anyway, good luck

[RMan3]

I have been takeing medication for depression non stop for 11 years. I have major depression recurent. Most depressions don't last like mine.

 

Sometimes people feel so bad they feel no matter what they do, they will never feel ok.

 

Cognetive therapy help many, learning different ways of thinking, handling problems & stress. I've had it & also read many self-help books.

 

Even when someone does get help & antidepression medications, they usualy take awhile to start working.

 

For me, my kind of depression is genetic. It's a struggle to not let things get me down. I know better, I think right, but for me it doesn't always work.

 

One thing I know for sure it is difficult on family & friends. Often times they just don't understand why you don't just snap out of it. If only the depressed person could.

 

Don't let the depressed person loose all hope. If they are trully in mental pain that won't stop, please try as hard as you can not to let them feel you want to just give up on them. If the people who they love & love them get so frustrated they won't listen they will truly loose hope & when all hope is lost, souiside is a very strong posibility... I know, I went there

[Melisande]

I also suffer from major depression, as well as anxiety disorder and depersonalisation. I'm on medication, and I'm also followed by a GP, a therapist and a psychiatrist.

 

The thing with any treatment for a mental illness is that it takes a lot of effort: all those appointments, trying different meds until you find one that works etc. You need to be really personally committed to getting better, which can be very hard if you've been depressed for a long time. She'll need tons of support because it can be really hard!

[daydreamerz]

I've had long bouts of depression my whole life and a lot of anxiety problems. I think there are a lot of reasons why I have never gotten help. One of them being, I think I am good at hiding how truely depressed and anxious I am from those who I am closest with. My anxiety really effects my every day life to the point where I dwell on every little thing I say/do constantly, overanalyzing everything, afraid of how people are perceiving me. Social situations make me so anxious even just going into work or sometimes even just going to hang out with my boyfriend or a couple of friends. I have tried talking to close friends/ or my mom about it and usually they think I'm just being dramatic and that these are just normal feelings, but they consume my thoughts and effect how I interact with people and feel about myself. I have considered going to a therapist but I don't have the money for it at the moment and even if I did I don't feel like I could really open up to them.

 

Depression runs in my family and that makes me think that maybe this is just who I am and that nothing can really help. My sister has had serious problems with depression ever since she was young along with an eating dissorder. She has been in therapy and on and off various anti-depressants/anxiety medications/ and who knows what else for the past 10 years or so. I think I am weary to go on anti-depressants when I notice that they have not seemed to have helped her. I mean maybe she would be worse off if she wasn't on them, but I find that kind of hard to believe considering how bad her depression is. I also would not want to ever feel like I have become dependent on medications. I have also watched my dad struggle with depression and just never seem to be happy with any job he's at or situation he's in. My dad's mom was also one of the unhappiest people I have ever known. She never seemed to have anything positive to say and she just always seemed to be unhappy to be alive.

[bbygrl83]

I didn't seek help for the longest time when I started feeling depressed all the time. I didn't even realize I was depressed. But when I 'noticed' that I was feeling like I was going to cry all the time, I decided I needed to get help. But at first I didn't know where to turn. I was kind of scared to ask for help.

[pandagirl]

I've suffered from depression since my teens. Sometimes it's worse, sometimes it's better. It took me until six months ago to seek treatment. When you're used to feeling one way, you don't really want to change, because it's how you ARE. It's too much work and effort to have to *change." It's easier staying the status quo.

 

For me, it took me looking back at my life and realizing I could've been a lot happier. I got sick and tired, both emotionally and physically, of having to deal with my feelings and emotions controlling my life. It is and was exhausting and I was ready for a change.

 

It's a cliche saying, but we can only help ourselves when we are ready.

[quankanne]

When you're used to feeling one way, you don't really want to change, because it's how you ARE.

 

or you think that maybe really are okay, that this isn't as bad as it could be, that you can handle it!

 

to all the other posters, thank you for sharing. I think coming out and talking about is going to help someone who *doesn't* know how to ask for help or even begin to look for it (I was that person).

 

to the OP, keep encouraging your brother. Knowing someone is in your corner pulling for you makes a world of difference when you're dealing with depression, either self or a loved one's.