Bells Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 I noticed this with alot of singles or social groups. At a church social I had attended a good while back, in my mid-20's.....it was actually a singles group that had gone out, went to see movies, out to eat and other activities. You had your Regulars, and you had your new faces. The new people, I have noticed, would only show up one time, and that's it. We had our usual crew waiting to meet in the parking lot to go out, and the leader of the group introduced us to these 2 new girls, probably mid 20's ....rather attractive women actually. We were suppose to meet at this restaurant, and then see a movie afterwards. Well, we all get done eating at the restaurant, and we were about to head off to go to the movies...when the two girls said they had some "Friends" to meet at a nightclub (church girls? Yeah right, LOL!) So they bailed on our group. Another instance, another social group, very recently now, though not labeled a "Singles Group" but it was 90% singles anyways, apparently a good female friend of mine (she has a boyfriend but is a real cool person), invited her female co-workers who are massueses at a resort location. Again, very attractive women, they got a glance at our group, and probaby didn't stick around more than 30 minutes with us, and they told (my female friend) they were going to this part of town , at a lounge/bar where the "rich good looking" guys were. They told this to their friend in a "joking" manner....of course. But, I'm going to leave the women alone on this one....this goes for men as well....I was trying to get to know the new guys in our group, when I introduced myself, they were rather short with me, didn't seem to want to talk..... becuase, after all, they want to talk to wome, not men, right? LOL Typically these people don't stick around long enough to form "bonds" or "Friendships" with the rest of us....they don't want the warm fuzzies of "Sometimes you wanna go where every body knows your name" They are on a mission, to get laid or whatever. If you try to detract them that just by being friendly, well, how dare you? right? lol Just something I've noticed. I had another situation, apparently the leader of our group (I've known this person a year, very good person) invited a couple of acquaintences from work to this piano bar. How I know this? They show up and sit next to me...and I asked them, "So, are you a friend of someone in this group? (my way of asking them that if they were part of the group, because there was a certain section roped off...I was kind of suprised they weren't mingling with anyone....just sticking to themselves). Their body langauge was completely unwelcoming, and very "terse" in their responses....they wound up leaving early...and not sticking around to "make friends" Why? They don't want friends, just rich, good looking hunks talking to them, nothing more. I refer to these people, people with 'Agendas', they show up on a mission, they have major expectations, and are disappointed when they see a crap load of average looking people wanting to socialize and making new friends. I'm not sure if you've ran into this in your town or city, but it's pretty rampant where I live. "Snob city" I like to call it. lol
norajane Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 They may have had different agendas, or they may have felt out of place and uncomfortable with the group. I know I've gone out with friends to meet up with their friends, and found that I didn't really have much in common with them. It happens.
Jersey Shortie Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 Okay first, people who go to clubs can easily be people that go to church. Just because you go to a club doesn't mean your sniffing cocain off a dancers tummy and hooking up with random strangers. I digress. If you have a group that has regulars, and newcomers come in, it is hard to feel part of the group. The regulars have a repitore with each other and that can be off putting. You shouldn't be so quick to judge. You never fully understand why people do the things they do even if you think you do from the evidence you see. This is one thing I have learned to be true in life. 1
Author Bells Posted September 10, 2008 Author Posted September 10, 2008 Okay first, people who go to clubs can easily be people that go to church. Just because you go to a club doesn't mean your sniffing cocain off a dancers tummy and hooking up with random strangers. I digress. If you have a group that has regulars, and newcomers come in, it is hard to feel part of the group. The regulars have a repitore with each other and that can be off putting. You shouldn't be so quick to judge. You never fully understand why people do the things they do even if you think you do from the evidence you see. This is one thing I have learned to be true in life. Well, in the case of the female friend of mine who invited the female co-workers of hers....I was able to find out what kind of women THEY were from her, because she knew them so well. But there's was a situation where a woman actually was offended no one talked to her...an the host was deeply sorry....but the blame can't be put on all the "regulars" themselves....the "new person" needs to sometimes make an effort to dive in, introduce themselves, make some kind of attempt. I get a kick out of how people are quickly to judge the regulars, when really, they were the ones that never put in any effort to even introduce themselves? Now with me...here I'm trying to make small talk and introduce myself to some people who are just being snobby, if it's just one sided, they need to do their part if they want to make friends. In some cases of my experiences....women show up...see a bunch of average joes...and goe "ew..." and leave. I had a woman say that she showed up to a singles sioree', and stated she'd never go to those again...it looked like a Star Trek convention. Gee, sorry if everyone there didn't look like 6 foot tall, chiseled featured man with a tan. Apparently, every man in the single's Soiree' looked like some geeky nerd to her.
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