mistieyed Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 the title says it all - met a new guy recently - he has come on strong from day one - not overwhelming, but definitely showing interest in getting to know me and for me to know him (he is divorced, has a child, and i have heard him say several times that he has had women cheat on him). after being hurt this year in another relationship, which started with full court press and then faded, it is hard to be open to this guy that seems really great. the question is one that is almost impossible to answer right now i think but i will pose it anyway so i can see what the general consensus is: how do you know if he is only after sex, really interested in more, or just likes the chase? what are some key flags to look for (btw, he didn't mention anything sexual related initially - he was a complete gentleman). thanks for any thoughts.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 How long have you known him? How does he act around you?
Author mistieyed Posted September 10, 2008 Author Posted September 10, 2008 How long have you known him? How does he act around you? just two weeks now and he is very caring. he seems to be scared too, but is a very positive person anyway. he doesn't appear to just want sex, but i am leary now of men because of the ex (sad to say). this guy wants to talk non-stop via phone, email, text, etc. he is just so excited about the possibilities of a relationship with me - kind of makes me wonder. not saying anything about myself, but he is like a kid about meeting someone new with potential.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 just two weeks now and he is very caring. he seems to be scared too, but is a very positive person anyway. he doesn't appear to just want sex, but i am leary now of men because of the ex (sad to say). this guy wants to talk non-stop via phone, email, text, etc. he is just so excited about the possibilities of a relationship with me - kind of makes me wonder. not saying anything about myself, but he is like a kid about meeting someone new with potential. He's suffering from infatuation. Have you tried telling him that you want to take things slow? The best response you'll receive from him is how he'll act afterwards.
Author mistieyed Posted September 10, 2008 Author Posted September 10, 2008 He's suffering from infatuation. Have you tried telling him that you want to take things slow? The best response you'll receive from him is how he'll act afterwards. i actually mentioned that he was going too fast for me in the first week - compliments non-stop, etc. etc. he mellowed out a bit, but it is obvious he is still thinking the same.
sunshinegirl Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 The ones that burn the hottest at first are also the ones that fizzle out the fastest. That's been my experience, anyway. You're wise to slow things down. Wanting to talk "non-stop" can be a sign of insecurity or loneliness. Or of someone great who is just enthusiastic. Hard to say at this point... but you might consider slowing down your responses to his frequent communication.
CaliGuy Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 He sounds way too needy and clingy to me. Especially after 2 weeks.
gd26 Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 If you are worried that he's just interested in sex.... then the obvious choice is to wait at least a few months before having sex with him. Then you'll know he is interested in more than just sex.
Author mistieyed Posted September 10, 2008 Author Posted September 10, 2008 thanks guys - i think i am going to have to not be available for all of the communications and see how things go from there. as far as sex goes, it will be a while before that happens so no worries. just wanted to get an idea of what others thought. my instinct is that he is just enthusiastic, but given my last experience, am still leary of the rest. appreciate your thoughts.
Recommended Posts