If You're Thinking Too Much, You're Not Talking Enough

[officegirl]

Or something like that. I first came here for answers or guidance or camaraderie. I noticed that the advice, while greatly appreciated, didn't seem to necessarily make sense. I realized that it's because the readers are getting a snippet of the relationship at a very confusing time for the author. And the motivation behind complaints are negative thoughts. That in itself projects only a negative vibe.

 

I'm struggling in my relationship and I'm learning each day more and more, that if one truly wants something to work, they must step up to bat. Confess, ask, tell, learn about, engage, and most importantly, evaluate oneself during the process. That was one hell of a run on sentence. I am learning to cope with my fear of closeness by facing it head on. I have historically been the first to bolt before they can even touch me or scratch the surface. In turn, my boyfriend is opening up more each day. He pisses me off to no end sometimes. And I won't lie; About every other day or two, I get so down about things, that I'm ready to pull the plug.

 

And then there are days like today. He picked me up at the office and took me to lunch at a deli we like. We talked. Not about the relationship but about our own lives and what we want and what we want to change. Some of it included each other. It was approach from both sides in a completely unassuming tone, without personal motivation from either of us. I don't think either one of us knew where it came from.

 

Anyway, it was nice and it gave me hope. To quote Alabama Whirley, "Usually, that's the way it goes, but every once in awhile, it goes the other way too".

 

Guys, don't give up hope. Try a little harder. I don't mean, overcompensate for one another. But be yourself. Don't get so wrapped up in negative thinking that you forget to talk to your partner. If you love them and you want them, you'll try your best to protect what you have.

[Trialbyfire]

That's a nice message officegirl. I'll add to it.

 

Don't just talk, really listen and learn to compromise or if necessary, give way sometimes and take, other times.

 

Edit - Another way of describing it is, put those words into action.