MaximilianL Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 Well basically, my gf and I met in first year university. We are going into second year university. I'm in Toronto, we both go to UofT, and her home is in another part of Canada. It really was the best. Then near the end of school year, I noticed she was really bored, she would knit stuff for me, etc, so I introduced her to a Chinese Online game that my friends and I were playing. She kind of got addicted to it. She really loved to talk ot guys through the game, etc. Recently, she both went to HK in summer and had a blast~! I got to meet her parents, etc. Then when we got back, she would spend all her time playing video games, mainly with her ingame husband, and totally ignore my texts... I talked to her a couple times about it. Eventually in August she broke up with me, saying she couldn't commit and is afraid to. I did the typical thing and begged for the first 2 days, then went NC for 3 weeks or so. She txts me on the day she came back to Toronto which was 4 days ago. And we go out for those days. Now we are both settled in rez, on the day we moved back in, I talked to her about our relationship in her room. Turns out my intuition was right, she wasn't seeing someone but she kind of wants to get together with the online husband from the game... she was planning to fly over to China during christmas break to see him. They got closer after we broke up so I wasn't too @_@wtf about it. I talk her to her ages and we are both in tears and basically she comes to herself, and realizes she doesn;t even know this guy, and it was too SHADY! That guy helped wreck the relationship, pushing both me and her to do things, he basically told me to keep begging her... ~_~' Anyways, now we are together like, we pretty much act bf/gf. But she says we shouldn't put it on facebook or go around telling people. "She doesn't want to be tied up, is what she said." I asked her back then, if she was planning to go look around for guys because I can't accept that, we have to be the only 2 in our relationship, i don't want an open relationship. And she said no, just us 2. I don't really understand.... that's why I plan to talk to her this week. possibly tonight depending if I get good/sound advice from you guys today ^^ thanks alot.. I'm thinking of saying something along the lines of "I've been doing some thinking. I don't really understand. We are together, we can be bf/gf. If people ask, why lie? If we are together, just us and not supposed to be seeing other people, why can't we say it? I really can't pinpoint what our relationship is supposed to be right now. When we are together, we aren't tied up!~ We are just good companions, as I said, we are to take it slowly this time around, so I don't understnad the tying up part~" PS: If you are going to say "don't give second chances or gtfo nowzzz" please don't respond. We had a really great time. I really hope distance was the only thing that wrecked us, so please help. BTW I AM READY TO MOVE ON, but i want to see where we are going.
BCCA Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 Well, here is what I think you should do: Just be patient. If she isnt seeing anyone else, and knows how you feel about open relationships, then what does a title really do? As long as she tells you, and you honestly beleive, that she isnt going to sleep with anyone else, then you should be confident enough to accept things for what they are. Obviously she likes you, but she might be doubting herself after what happened with this online guy. And by putting pressure on her for the title of 'boyfriend', you are coming off as an insecure person. If you really cant stand the fact that its not 'official', then leave. But if you want to see how it plays out, just be patient. I promise that the less you bring up the bf/gf thing, the more she'll start to want it.
ahhhchooo Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 She wants to lie about it because there's something she's not telling you, imo. Probably she's lying to this online husband guy and conned you in the first place that she thought it was "shady" etc.
Author MaximilianL Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 arg very different views on it @_@ any more? thanks ^^
orangesean Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I'd say just let it go, this girl is immature. First off, you can tell by someone who communicates important aspects of a relationship over text messaging. Second, she has an "online husband" that's just silly, I don't care about the gaming culture. People who have affairs over MMOs, Second Life, or whatever have serious problems, and can't be left to their own devices obviously. Third, she is probably lying to you, and that's why you can't make it official. She is probably still taking the emotional support from her "online husband" while you are her back up. You may have had fun, but chalk it up as a learning experience and find someone way less goofy.
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