Star Gazer Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 I found this to be very interesting: http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlecosmomatch.aspx?cp-documentid=9983284>1=32023
BannaBee57 Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 Interesting. So basically it's suggesting that we (women) should do these little things in order to avoid scaring men off? I can see how that might be for some guys, but I'd rather be with a man that's not constantly seeking reassurance and validation from me. I give it when it's deserved, not in order to keep him around until the next time he's feeling insecure.
djhall Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 Does it make the man insecure because he has an emotional investment in the outcome and cares about those things happening, or does it come from worrying that those things might happen before they do instead of simply assuming that they could never happen to him? It seems a lot of women want a man to be interested in them personally, want him to see her as a valuable individual who can't just be replaced by the next pretty face, but at the same time want him to behave as if she were just something to do for entertainment on a weekend.
Author Star Gazer Posted September 9, 2008 Author Posted September 9, 2008 I found the insecurities listed to be quite endearing, and expected by someone who's in any way invested in the outcome of the dating situation.
jerbear Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 I found the insecurities listed to be quite endearing, and expected by someone who's in any way invested in the outcome of the dating situation. Which ones? Sometimes I wonder if I'm one of the many insecure wusses that didn't measure up to her. :laugh: Those 4 insecurities can apply to both genders.
djhall Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 I found the insecurities listed to be quite endearing, and expected by someone who's in any way invested in the outcome of the dating situation. Would you go so far as to say that a certain amount insecurity is a natual part of dating? Dating is a process of getting to know, to like, to care, and finally to love someone while you are building the foundation that will eventually become the basis for having stability, security, and trust with that person. In the meantime, a certian amount of insecurity would seem to be a natural result of emotionally investing yourself in someone with whom you don't yet have that stability and trust.
girlygirl25 Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 Would you go so far as to say that a certain amount insecurity is a natual part of dating? Dating is a process of getting to know, to like, to care, and finally to love someone while you are building the foundation that will eventually become the basis for having stability, security, and trust with that person. In the meantime, a certian amount of insecurity would seem to be a natural result of emotionally investing yourself in someone with whom you don't yet have that stability and trust. I completely agree with this. I believe that insecurity at the beginning stages of dating has some normalcy to it. A lot of the threads in this forum are from individuals who are unsure if the person likes them or wants to take the relationship to the next level. That's insecurity to me! I think most of these could be applied to women as well.
Jersey Shortie Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 I found the list of insecurities endearing as well. I also think the list could apply to a man or woman.
TigerCub Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 I do agree that these insecurities can definitely exist for both genders. I personally found that list to make a lot of sense. I dated a guy for a while that I really liked, but I'm thinking that insecurities musta played a role in the way he acted - that led to my not seeing him again. He used to always comment on how he'd notice a lot of guys looking at me when we were out (something that I was oblivious to because it was him I was looking at), oh and make comments/jokes about he must be just one of the "contenders". He made comments about my having a computer science degree and being "too smart" - especially after he lost his job as a computer tech...and then he kept playing these stupid games where he'll make plans and then not call and then call again and say how much he wanted to see me. At the end I really felt that he was getting his validation from seeing if I would drop anything to see him when he wanted or if I'd just be waiting by the phone for his calls - and yeah I guess that backfired... And it still sucks cuz I really did like him, but his validation games turned me off.
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