Meaplus3 Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 Why is it that some people feel the need to instill needless fear in others? I ask this question because today I had my very first Mammogram. A few friends of mine that I mentioned it too..said.. "Oh Lucky you" "I hate that test it hurt's like H***." So.. this made me afraid and nervous. Even my own mother said "It's not pleasant." Well..I found it to be the most simple test ever.It took a matter of minutes.. and it was over. Really what does a person have to gain buy trying to make one anxious?? Could it be that they are not happy with themselves.. and it makes them feel better to.. make someone feel nervous and afraid?? AP:)
ed-205 Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 Because fear is one of the sharpest memories our minds preserve. It has something to do with our sense of self preservation "Fight or Flight" reactions. Chances are, the test really wasn't all that bad for them either, but remembering how afraid they were is clearer than the actual test, and Cancer itself is a scary thing, even if you're just being checked for it. Now, You have the chance to change that a bit for others in the future! When I talk to people about a procedure I have had, I try to focus on the procedure itself, and not my reactions to it.
Trialbyfire Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 Take every experience for what it is, whether positive or negative. People share what they've experienced. Some people faint from needles, others watch in fascination. No one needs to pad their experiences with pleasant fluff.
Author Meaplus3 Posted September 9, 2008 Author Posted September 9, 2008 Take every experience for what it is, whether positive or negative. People share what they've experienced. Some people faint from needles, others watch in fascination. No one needs to pad their experiences with pleasant fluff. Well, I was not expecting them to say "Oh it's such a joy.. you'll have great fun". However, why not just say something positive like "It will be ok"? Instead of making it out to sound so catastrophic! AP:)
Final Girl Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 People just like to tell their stories...like the time I had a root taken out of my gum after the anaesthetic wore off and I could feel everything - every cut!! I tell that story every time I hear someone say they're off to the dentist!! I don't do it to be mean...it's just a juicy story and fun!! Coz i lived to tell the tale, and they will too!!! It might even give them encouragement if you think about it!!
Trialbyfire Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 I'm going to relate it to dating. Say both you and I, at one time, dated the same man. I had a horrendous experience and you had a wonderful experience. Should I say to you, "It was okay."? To bring it back to a medical perspective, it can be unpleasant and painful for different people. Some people have a higher pain threshold than others. There are also different techs. Some techs aren't terribly empathetic to the patient, others are competent but even then, have bad days. Stuff happens.
Author Meaplus3 Posted September 9, 2008 Author Posted September 9, 2008 People just like to tell their stories...like the time I had a root taken out of my gum after the anaesthetic wore off and I could feel everything - every cut!! I tell that story every time I hear someone say they're off to the dentist!! I don't do it to be mean...it's just a juicy story and fun!! Coz i lived to tell the tale, and they will too!!! It might even give them encouragement if you think about it!! I get what your saying and I bet you tell that story in a light hearted fashion. Now in my case, the people I spoke to had that serious grim look upon there faces.. so I guess it made me think like "S*** this is going to suck... when I found it to be very simple. Perhaps it hurts worse if you have giant ta-ta's. AP:)
Author Meaplus3 Posted September 9, 2008 Author Posted September 9, 2008 I'm going to relate it to dating. Say both you and I, at one time, dated the same man. I had a horrendous experience and you had a wonderful experience. Should I say to you, "It was okay."? To bring it back to a medical perspective, it can be unpleasant and painful for different people. Some people have a higher pain threshold than others. There are also different techs. Some techs aren't terribly empathetic to the patient, others are competent but even then, have bad days. Stuff happens. Nah..I would want to know if the guy was a creep. True! I happend to have a real friendly tech and she was so positive and upbeat that it made the test easy... while others might not have been so lucky. AP:)
Final Girl Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 PMSL!!! :lmao: Well, I think some people are natural scaremongers and harbingers of gloom and doom...like if they are happy for a second they freak out coz they are so used to being miserable!!! Going to the hospital is hard for anyone, but I try to raise a laugh before they go so that it might be a wee bit easier and that everyone goes through things like this!! Sounds like you have a pretty fab SOH and don't let yourself get too down!!! :):)
Author Meaplus3 Posted September 9, 2008 Author Posted September 9, 2008 PMSL!!! :lmao: Well, I think some people are natural scaremongers and harbingers of gloom and doom...like if they are happy for a second they freak out coz they are so used to being miserable!!! Going to the hospital is hard for anyone, but I try to raise a laugh before they go so that it might be a wee bit easier and that everyone goes through things like this!! Sounds like you have a pretty fab SOH and don't let yourself get too down!!! :):) Well.. next test I have I'm talking to you first... this way I know I'll survive. I tend to do the same thing. A friend of mine was going in for a root canal and we got to talking about it. I've had a couple, and yes it's not the most plesant thing however, I assured her it would be over with before she new it and if I was wrong she could come over and punch me, that made her laugh. I always try to be up beat and not come off like the grim reaper. AP:)
Final Girl Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 Well.. next test I have I'm talking to you first... this way I know I'll survive. I tend to do the same thing. A friend of mine was going in for a root canal and we got to talking about it. I've had a couple, and yes it's not the most plesant thing however, I assured her it would be over with before she new it and if I was wrong she could come over and punch me, that made her laugh. I always try to be up beat and not come off like the grim reaper. AP:) You've got a deal!!! But oo-er no punching.....:laugh::laugh:
Amorabunda Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 Why is it that some people feel the need to instill needless fear in others? I ask this question because today I had my very first Mammogram. A few friends of mine that I mentioned it too..said.. "Oh Lucky you" "I hate that test it hurt's like H***." So.. this made me afraid and nervous. Even my own mother said "It's not pleasant." Well..I found it to be the most simple test ever.It took a matter of minutes.. and it was over. Really what does a person have to gain buy trying to make one anxious?? Could it be that they are not happy with themselves.. and it makes them feel better to.. make someone feel nervous and afraid?? AP:) When I had my first mammogram it was painful -- I had a terrible, inconsiderate technician, & I'm well-endowed, which can make it much more unpleasant, although a good technician can ameliorate that greatly. I remember feeling completely unprepared for what I experienced & very angry about that fact. The next mammogram I had was less traumatic & uncomfortable, partly because I had a better technician, partly because I was emotionally prepared for the experience, & knew (after having talked to friends) I was not the only person to experience such discomfort. So, the lesson, IMO, is there's no accounting for tastes: I would have appreciated warnings like those you received & would have not appreciated someone telling me it was "no big deal" unless that was, in fact, the way they truly had felt about it. I think that in characterizing the warnings you'd received as "instilling needless fear in others" you're assuming their experience had been a mild as your own, when that may not have been the case at all.
Author Meaplus3 Posted September 10, 2008 Author Posted September 10, 2008 When I had my first mammogram it was painful -- I had a terrible, inconsiderate technician, & I'm well-endowed, which can make it much more unpleasant, although a good technician can ameliorate that greatly. I remember feeling completely unprepared for what I experienced & very angry about that fact. The next mammogram I had was less traumatic & uncomfortable, partly because I had a better technician, partly because I was emotionally prepared for the experience, & knew (after having talked to friends) I was not the only person to experience such discomfort. So, the lesson, IMO, is there's no accounting for tastes: I would have appreciated warnings like those you received & would have not appreciated someone telling me it was "no big deal" unless that was, in fact, the way they truly had felt about it. I think that in characterizing the warnings you'd received as "instilling needless fear in others" you're assuming their experience had been a mild as your own, when that may not have been the case at all. I'm sorry to hear your first mammo was painful.. but glad the second was not that bad. I see your point however, these people are friends of mine.. and I guess..I was taken back because, they know my personality well and realized my anxiety about the test to begin with. AP:)
bayouboi Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 I have an unrelated question for you Final Girl...I like the angel picture in your avatar, what is it from?
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