Tomcat33 Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 D you are GORGEOUS I was checking out your pics the other day and I meant to comment. And you seem so funny and sweet in your posts...What's not to like about? I think I'll wait for wednesday and text with a "Hey you!" It's non-comittal. It's also showing I am just saying hello. I detected some heartbreak and insecurity in this guy- he's one of those guys that is pretty hot- but hasn't fully grasped it. That is what I am attributing the "u call me" thing to. That's what I would do definitely. It is a spontaneous thing to do (better sooner than later 'cause otherwise the more you wait the more you have to say something stupid like "hey there what's up?") but to text him now and say "had a really great time" is apropos. It doesn't say I have been waiting around thinking and scheming thinking of the perfect time to do a "rule" thing for an entire week. About the bolded part, don't let that fool you, guys play coy they are VERY good at the "oh but no no I'm a hideous monster NOBODY likes me..." schtick. Chya right buddy! He knows he's hot, he just wants to know if you "know" it too. IF a week goes by and no word from him, THEN I would consider shooting off a VERY casual hello text - nothing about "Im thinking about you"... WAY too pushy too soon! IMO, it's the insecurity that makes women start to pursue men. They worry that the guy WON'T contact them, so rather than endure the waiting period, they push the envelope and therefore, push the guy To clarify and to correct myself I meant do a text that implies I am thinking about you, not say those words. Something along the lines of "hey that was fun" VERY different thing. It SAYS I am thinking about you without spelling it out, if he is smart he will catch on. Cmon JB this isn't the drought where we have to endure anything. It's just dating. :laugh: That to me seems like a game and it also seems like you would be chasing the guy and on top of it acting out of panic. If a week goes by and there is no sign of him it means one of two things 1. (and more than likely) - he was not all that interested 2. he is some kind of player that likes to be chased When a guy smells games as in "no I must wait a week to call" they see THAT as insecurity and get turned off. At least that is my understanding... So out of curiosity why would you text after a week of him not making any sort of move? Doesn't that feel like you are chasing him at that point? I dunnow I guess I am just saying what works for me and what guys respond to without having to put copious amounts of efforts on my part and keeping it real at the same time. You ultimately do what feels comfy to you.
rod_in_gtown Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 If he goes home and sends me a message immediately.... that's good right? I mean- I would have got home at 11:30...... his message came through before midnight. He likes me? I like him. Hell YEAH! he likes you. There's lots of things to like about you (the spunk, the wit, the sass) and yes, you ARE beautiful. I'm SO happy for you. :bunny:
Balthazar Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 I'm not sure I like this trend of age-appropriate dating. Does it mean we have to give up on our 20-somethings's:laugh:. Have fun and best wishes!
Author D-Lish Posted September 10, 2008 Author Posted September 10, 2008 He sent the e-mail last night as soon as he got home asking me what I thought of him/the date.... and I replied saying I had fun and we should do that dinner sometime. I also asked "what did you think"... This morning I get a message back and he said "I am going to keep you guessing what I think, and dinner sounds fine". lol. No Tentative plans set up- but I think a second date will happen. Thanks for your replies. Dating is stressful.
rod_in_gtown Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 Dating is stressful. It's also my favorite full-contact sport :lmao:
Jilly Bean Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 It's also my favorite full-contact sport :lmao: I can think of another that I like better...
rod_in_gtown Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 I can think of another that I like better... I like you, you're naughty
2sunny Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 I can think of another that I like better... aren't they both all inclusive? dating - sex/sex - dating hmmmm rod- you're just now figuring out how much naughty time we spend here? :lmao:
rod_in_gtown Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 aren't they both all inclusive? dating - sex/sex - dating hmmmm rod- you're just now figuring out how much naughty time we spend here? :lmao: Well, I've only been around here for 10 days or so... so yeah, I suppose I'm a slow learner
High Plains Drifter Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 Wait for him to call. He will!!! Text him tomorrow and tell him you had a really good time! Don't be so paranoid. Asking you to call means he's leaving things in your court I'm 45. Only guessing, but I think he's more nervous than you are. Everyone quoted above could be right.....but, IMHO, why wouldn't you text anyone (regardless of age) if you had a good time? Why would you be "paranoid" with anyone? Why wouldn't you expect ANY guy to call you back?
2sunny Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 Well, I've only been around here for 10 days or so... so yeah, I suppose I'm a slow learner maybe you need to take a topless ride with all of us on a4a's tractor! she's also into lesbian soap making... just watch out when she breaks out the potato!
Author D-Lish Posted September 10, 2008 Author Posted September 10, 2008 I'm 45. Only guessing, but I think he's more nervous than you are. Everyone quoted above could be right.....but, IMHO, why wouldn't you text anyone (regardless of age) if you had a good time? Why would you be "paranoid" with anyone? Why wouldn't you expect ANY guy to call you back? I think at the best of times it's easy to be insecure a bit about dating. But he did message me last night after I posted.
High Plains Drifter Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 I think at the best of times it's easy to be insecure a bit about dating. But he did message me last night after I posted. Great! Meh...IMHO....Humans really aren't designed to live much past 50 years old...you won't need to committ for a lifetime, but enjoy the "vive la differance"
Author D-Lish Posted September 10, 2008 Author Posted September 10, 2008 Great! Meh...IMHO....Humans really aren't designed to live much past 50 years old...you won't need to committ for a lifetime, but enjoy the "vive la differance" Lol.... I better step up my game then. Don't want to be wasting time- I have a birthday coming up in a few weeks.
Author D-Lish Posted September 10, 2008 Author Posted September 10, 2008 happy bday for then Don't ask me how old I will be- because I will be forced to Lie...
Jilly Bean Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 May I welcome you to the Isle of Elder Vagine?
Author D-Lish Posted September 10, 2008 Author Posted September 10, 2008 May I welcome you to the Isle of Elder Vagine? Does it smell like Jasmine there? Can I eat M&M's anytime I want and just walk around in my slippers all day? May I be free to cut my hair above my ears? Because I am ready ...
rod_in_gtown Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 maybe you need to take a topless ride with all of us on a4a's tractor! she's also into lesbian soap making... just watch out when she breaks out the potato! :lmao: I don't know what any of that means but it sounds yummy!
2sunny Posted September 10, 2008 Posted September 10, 2008 a4a is one of the funniest gals here on LS. she hasn't been around much this summer. when she was around everyday over the past years - she came up with some of the funniest stuff... her humor is off the chart. we always teased that on a bad day we would just go topless riding her lawn mower and she wanted to start a new business for lesbians - so she came up with soap making. god - i miss her humor.
Author D-Lish Posted September 14, 2008 Author Posted September 14, 2008 Well, I'll tell ya- dating someone older doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't into playing games! I think this guy is trying to employ the "play aloof" and see if i take the bait. I know he is interested- I mean he messaged me within half an hour of the date ending asking what I thought of him.... and when I told him I had fun and would surely enjoy the dinner he suggested.... he responded with "dinner would be "fine"... lol.... and that he was going to keep me guessing what he thought of me.... Since then- we have half assed messaged each other flirty stuff.... and the tenative arrangements to do dinner have been left in the background. I think this guy is used to being chased.... And I just won't go there. He started messaging me back on lavalife last year sometime- and then found me on plenty of fish- and messaged me there every few weeks teling me I was missing out. So I finally agree to meet with him- it's a good date.... and it seems like he is trying to play aloof on purpose. If he gives me one word answers- I don't respond. That's not leaving the door open as far as I am concerned! Then- when I don't respond he comes back within a couple days and re-initiates conversation. Who knows- he might be multi-dating- or maybe he just isn't into me. My instincts just tell me he is playing games, trying to get me to chase him. But- as much as I initially had interest in him... I am turned off now by the games. I think a little bit of flirty games playing is cool... but with him, it seems as if it would be "draining" to date him. I mean- on Wed night he told me he was picking up his new dog (a rescue) and intimated he wanted to meet me and my pups at the door park. So I said- I am so excited for you- sounds good... let me know. And he said "I will".... Now, I didn't see that as a cue to respond with anything, so I left it. Today- I get mail asking why I didn't write him back and what have I been up to. I didn't respond. It feels like pulling teeth to have interaction...!!!
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 This guy sounds annoying. If he expressed a desire to have your dogs meet, then you said "great, let me know", and he said he would let you know, then he is the one who dropped the ball there. His next step should have been to arrange a date to meet in the dog park. He had to put it back on you, though. Why didn't you respond to me? I've dated guys like this before.
norajane Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 He started messaging me back on lavalife last year sometime- and then found me on plenty of fish- and messaged me there every few weeks teling me I was missing out. D, if a man tells you that you're missing out by not dating him, you ought to know right there that you're not missing a thing.
Author D-Lish Posted September 14, 2008 Author Posted September 14, 2008 D, if a man tells you that you're missing out by not dating him, you ought to know right there that you're not missing a thing. LOL.... yeah- I am realizing that. Gawd... I don't need the games. Ask me again or don't... I don't care. I won't chase after anyone though!
Jilly Bean Posted September 14, 2008 Posted September 14, 2008 He sounds like Milton Bradley to me. I'd lose his number D. I am sure he will resurface to make a date as soon as he realizes you are gone, but gosh - would be just more of the same, right? Bleh.
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