I feel like I'm his "Just for Right Now" GF

[Tabatha]

When I ask him what he wants out of his and myself's future, he says...I don't know.

 

When I ask him if he sees me in his future, he says....I don't know.

 

We've been dating almost 10 months...and he's uncertain about me.

 

Is this normal for a guy?

 

I don't feel as though we are a couple working towards a goal, I feel we are just "Here".

 

Maybe it's because he doesn't have his life in order, nor do I. I hope when we do, things will be better. But, for right now, I ask him to atleast dream about what he wants us to do, or be, but he can't even do that.

 

I feel as though we are the only couple who don't talk about our future, atleast Hypothetically.

[Ronni_W]

Tabatha,

You've only been dating for 10 months. It is possible that you are putting way too much pressure on him by asking him to figure out a mutual future for the two of you. You need to PARTNER with him in that process...only if and when you BOTH are ready to make a commitment beyond dating.

 

Whether or not you end up dating for 10 years or getting married in another 10 months, YOU are always going to be responsible to figure out your own goals and plans, independent of your partner. YOU are in charge of and accountable for your life and who you are at any stage, and for what you will be, do and create for yourself in the future.

 

As you say, right now, neither one of you has the information, resources or skills to even sort out your current lives. Demanding yourself or him to be able to conjure up a vision for any type of futures is futile and counter-productive.

 

You may find it more effective to just start getting your own life on track, suggest that he do the same, and decide together how you can each support and encourage each other in those individual goals -- going about it this way will also strengthen your ability to collaborate successfully when both start determining and working towards mutual goals...if your relationship does get to that point.