stillafool Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 So you'd be completely fine with your H reconnecting with a previous lover? One that he was seeing while the two of you were seperated? No worries at all that they might resume their relationship? How many times have we seen stories on this site where WS's have wandered back and forth between the affair partner and their betrayed spouse? Absolutely not. All I'm saying is the H obviously loves his W more than LF or he wouldn't have left LF to move back with his W. Especially since his W is a cheater. I'm saying LF is no threat to his W because if the H had wanted LF he could have had her but chose to go back to his cheating W. If I were the W I wouldn't have gotten upset because LF is so jealous of me that she started looking me up on line. I would laugh at her and think it was pathetic. I would think "be gone, you have no power here, I cheated on him but he still chose me over you." That's all I'm saying. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Absolutely not. All I'm saying is the H obviously loves his W more than LF or he wouldn't have left LF to move back with his W. Especially since his W is a cheater. I'm saying LF is no threat to his W because if the H had wanted LF he could have had her but chose to go back to his cheating W. If I were the W I wouldn't have gotten upset because LF is so jealous of me that she started looking me up on line. I would laugh at her and think it was pathetic. I would think "be gone, you have no power here, I cheated on him but he still chose me over you." That's all I'm saying. I would agree that he's made his choice. Unfortunately, people often waffle on their choices. Having cheated herself, she's probably well aware of how easy it would be for contact between LF and her H to turn into an affair (not knowing LF well enough to know that LF would never accept that). Given that they've already seperated once as well...she probably IS insecure to a degree...rightfully so. I personally can understand her desire not to put her marriage at risk by remaining complacent with the potential renewed contact between LF and her H. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Notice she DID catch him in a lie...he'd signed himself up as a friend on the OP's page, and not told his wife. You seem to think that this distrust lasts forever...but it doesn't. The trust can be rebuilt. With time, and with effort on both parts. And what great progress is being shown here, to continue to catch him in lies! Wow, I can completely understand how the trust is being rebuilt here. I would laugh at her and think it was pathetic. I would think "be gone, you have no power here, I cheated on him but he still chose me over you." That's all I'm saying. And what a lucky girl you'd be indeedy. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 OB, if you ever are lucky enough to meet a couple that really has recovered a marriage from infidelity, then you might understand the process it takes to get there, and the rewards that can be found in it. Until then, I think you'd best be served by realizing this is obviously a subject which you simply don't have enough information to provide any relevent posts about. I'm not sure if sarcasm would be considered relevent or not. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 OB, if you ever are lucky enough to meet a couple that really has recovered a marriage from infidelity, then you might understand the process it takes to get there, and the rewards that can be found in it. Until then, I think you'd best be served by realizing this is obviously a subject which you simply don't have enough information to provide any relevent posts about. I'm not sure if sarcasm would be considered relevent or not. Au contraire, mon frere. Lookingforward posted this thread in order to garner feedback from any interested poster here. I happen to like LF, and I wanted to provide my perspective on her situation. I'm calling it the way I see it. I stand by my post, and by my belief that her MM and his W have a very sick situation going on in their M. Your patronizing and arrogant attitude toward my posts is impotent, as far as I'm concerned. It's all hat and no cattle. But I'm glad to see I'm getting under your fingernails. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 And what a lucky girl you'd be indeedy. Isn't she! She can cheat with whomever she pleases and he still comes running back to her, wow what game she has. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lookingforward Posted September 12, 2008 Author Share Posted September 12, 2008 Actually it was his KIDS he went back for....... not his cheating W. Thanks for the input all, I've decided as I said to just not reply....period. She obviously hasn't taken it up with him as he hasn't removed himself from my contacts (or me from his, however that works on that site). Sucks to be her I guess, to be so terrified he might resume contact, but that's her problem, not mine. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 You definitely got the best end of the deal, LF. You're not stuck trying to deal with the aftermath of all this wonderous fun. At least it worked out well for someone. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 She obviously hasn't taken it up with him as he hasn't removed himself from my contacts (or me from his, however that works on that site). Have you deleted him though? If not, do so. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lookingforward Posted September 12, 2008 Author Share Posted September 12, 2008 Have you deleted him though? If not, do so. nope, why should I ? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Why wouldn't you? If you want MM and his wife to leave you alone, then delete him and be done with it. If you don't, it's like you're playing a game with him. I mean, you could've denied the friendship request when he tried to add you as a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Why wouldn't you? If you want MM and his wife to leave you alone, then delete him and be done with it. If you don't, it's like you're playing a game with him. I mean, you could've denied the friendship request when he tried to add you as a friend. Exactly. If you want out of this drama as you claim...you take measures to remain out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 nope, why should I ? Exactly, don't! I'm glad you came to that realization. And given that some of us have direct experience in this it makes more sense that you go with those of us that can actually comment on this as opposed to those that live it from the outside looking in "pretending" to know what's what. Glad you came to your senses LF. Let her H explain it, and let her figure out if it's true or not. You owe them NOTHING. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Exactly. If you want out of this drama as you claim...you take measures to remain out of it. She HAS taken measures to stay out of the drama, she opted not to respond. You can't stay anymore out of it than that really! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 You can't stay anymore out of it than that really! Actually she can by deleting him. What is the point of her NOT deleting him? SO he can delete her? That's just a stupid game, like if you want me out of your life, you're going to have to delete me, otherwise we stay as friends on the reunion site. She KNOWS it's bothering his wife, yet she is choosing not to delete herself off MM's list. Why? Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Actually she can by deleting him. What is the point of her NOT deleting him? SO he can delete her? That's just a stupid game, like if you want me out of your life, you're going to have to delete me, otherwise we stay as friends on the reunion site. She KNOWS it's bothering his wife, yet she is choosing not to delete herself off MM's list. Why? this is what I say. It this woman has SO MUCH PSSY power of this man she should make her H delete LF. End of story. Put her real power to the test. No? I mean he IS trying to "recover the marriage, and he IS there for her right?" or maybe not LOL I say stay put LF. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Then she is asking for more drama and she knows it. If she truly wanted him OUT of her life in everyway, out of their so called "sick sick" marriage and life, then she can delete her name off his list. You make it sound like a game now, making my point exactly of WHY LF isn't going to delete him. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 WWIU, I'm glad SOMEONE gets it. She doesn't want to delete him because she KNOWS it bothers his wife. She's delighting in the drama. I wonder if she's hoping that it'll result in him resuming contact with her as well. Not doing anything is DELIBERATELY CHOOSING to leave a door open for the chaos to continue. This IS a "step more" that LF could take, but chooses not to. Why would she not WANT to remove him from her page???? If not for the continued drama, or hope of resumed contact? Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 So its a "pssy power" battle? Sheesh...that's simply pathetic. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Because it seems she wants to see how this plays out.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lookingforward Posted September 12, 2008 Author Share Posted September 12, 2008 Why wouldn't you? If you want MM and his wife to leave you alone, then delete him and be done with it. If you don't, it's like you're playing a game with him. I mean, you could've denied the friendship request when he tried to add you as a friend. there WAS no "friendship request" - I'm guessing that this site it was on assumes that if you're searching you're okay with being added by the searchee. I never said I wanted "them to leave me alone" or even that it was bothering me - simply asked for input on whether I should respond to her msge. As for playing games, why the hell not - I'm entitled to a little amusement at her expense, considering. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 Then she is asking for more drama and she knows it. If she truly wanted him OUT of her life in everyway, out of their so called "sick sick" marriage and life, then she can delete her name off his list. You make it sound like a game now, making my point exactly of WHY LF isn't going to delete him. Ahhh no because the drama is not affecting her in any shape way or form it is THEIR drama. If she and her H are truly on the same page it should not be up to LF to remove herself it should be up to the H to remove LF. That's it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lookingforward Posted September 12, 2008 Author Share Posted September 12, 2008 Frankly, if I were her, I'd be worrying more about who else (new) he may be talking to rather than someone with whom he's maintained the NC he promised her he would. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 there was no "friendship request" - i'm guessing that this site it was on assumes that if you're searching you're okay with being added by the searchee. I never said i wanted "them to leave me alone" or even that it was bothering me - simply asked for input on whether i should respond to her msge. As for playing games, why the hell not - i'm entitled to a little amusement at her expense, considering. wow!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted September 12, 2008 Share Posted September 12, 2008 So its a "pssy power" battle? Sheesh...that's simply pathetic. As pathetic as reaching out to LF to see if she is still with her H. As pathetic as cheating on your H and chasing him away and calling him back when you realise he is actually worthy of real love from someone else. but who's keeping tabs really? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts