I should just date within my own race.

[xpaperxcutx]

I'm starting to think my mom was right when she told me that I should date someone my own race. I never had a problem with interracial dating but from the moment I could be allowed to date, she was constantly at my throat that I should date someone asian, emphasis on the Chinese. She wants me to date someone like my cousin's fiance, who is a nice guy and all, but he reminds me of a Peter Griffin character without the wise-crack mentality. He's very loyal and loves my cousin very much, but I can't imagine myself being with a guy that has no backbone.

I've dated caucasians, greek, and spanish, but I've never once been with a asian guy. I've been attracted to a few guys before, but I've never saw myself with any one of them. But now since most other guys only see me as a booty call because they have an asian fetish, maybe I should just settle for dating a asian guy that my mom will approve of. I mean it wouldn't be so hard to find one since I live in a mostly asian neighborhood. I'm not happy, not happy at all.

[LoveDeluxe78]

But now since most other guys only see me as a booty call because they have an asian fetish, maybe I should just settle for dating a asian guy that my mom will approve of. I mean it wouldn't be so hard to find one since I live in a mostly asian neighborhood. I'm not happy, not happy at all.

 

I'm curious by why do you think most guys who date you are only doing so because they have an Asian fetish and want just a booty call? I'm just asking because there are many guys who date intra-racially and still only want girls for booty calls. Heck, at a certain age, most guys only really want girls as booty calls (Ok, I'm generalizing, but there are lots!). Are there are ways to tell he has an Asian fetish? What if you wait on the sex and see if he sticks around. Perhaps because you are Asian, it is unfortunate, that sometimes it can be because of a fetish so if you really liked the guy and wanted to know for sure that he's into you as a person and not just because you're Asian, that you should err on the side of caution and wait on the sex? And if it's just sex that you want and don't care why he's with you, then you can just have sex with him right away too, but wait on the ones you do like and see what happens....

 

Just my 2 cents for what it's worth....

 

As for dating Asian guys, you do not sound happy so why subject yourself to something that seems to make you miserable! lol Finding the right chemistry with someone is hard enough, why limit other racial groups? That's my perspective anyway!

[The Collector]

The asian fetish thing is annoying. My (actually-now-ex-) gf is asian, and she knows what you mean. There are plenty of guys who just see you as a peccadillo to explore. It's a problem us English guys have to put up with from many yank women - 'ooh, you're accent is so cute...' hey what about the real me! Stop unzipping my trousers!

 

Just weed out the asian fetishists. Ask potential suitors if they've had an asian gf before - I know people who have had three or four one after the other, and this must be quite objectifying for you.

 

Or just count your blessings and be glad you're not scotch.

 

Don't report me Taramere I only put that in to annoy you.

[Tomcat33]

- 'ooh, you're accent is so cute...' hey what about the real me! Stop unzipping my trousers!

 

 

Your crotch can talk? And with an accent?

 

Fwwaaaaaaaa sweet!!

[MalachiX]

Guys don't think of a girl as a booty call because she's asian, black, white, hispanic, or purple. They do so because she's easy or seems like easy prey. I also doubt settling for someone your Mom will approve us is going to lead to happiness.

 

I don't know why you're having problems in your dating life but it sounds like you're looking for a quick fix and deciding the problem is race is a way for you to avoid actually exploring your problems.

[norajane]

ALL Asian guys aren't doormats, I'm sure. Give it a try! You don't have to date them if you don't like them, but if you meet someone that seems interesting, don't categorically rule them out right away. Get to know them - they might surprise you.

 

I can tell you there are a lot of very cool Asian guys out there.

[xpaperxcutx]

I'm curious by why do you think most guys who date you are only doing so because they have an Asian fetish and want just a booty call? I'm just asking because there are many guys who date intra-racially and still only want girls for booty calls. Heck, at a certain age, most guys only really want girls as booty calls (Ok, I'm generalizing, but there are lots!). Are there are ways to tell he has an Asian fetish? What if you wait on the sex and see if he sticks around. Perhaps because you are Asian, it is unfortunate, that sometimes it can be because of a fetish so if you really liked the guy and wanted to know for sure that he's into you as a person and not just because you're Asian, that you should err on the side of caution and wait on the sex? And if it's just sex that you want and don't care why he's with you, then you can just have sex with him right away too, but wait on the ones you do like and see what happens....

 

Just my 2 cents for what it's worth....

 

As for dating Asian guys, you do not sound happy so why subject yourself to something that seems to make you miserable! lol Finding the right chemistry with someone is hard enough, why limit other racial groups? That's my perspective anyway!

 

Love, I've been approached on several occasions by guys who were white who told me that they've never been with an asian girl before. Adding to the fact that they were more or less nonchalant when they would tell me they think alot of asian girls are very beautiful. This is the part where the alarm in my head goes off, and I run away.

 

I can always tell whether they want a booty call or not, and I can't seem to stop attracting guys that just want to sleep with me. I admit I'm a sexual person but I really don't want to end up like one those girls that constantly expects the guy to call and commit to them. I don't want to limit my racial dating pool, but I've yet to meet anyone who can over look my race and like me for my personality not the country where my parents are from. I'm an american as much as the next person, so why the need to constantly stereotype me?

[The Collector]

I also don't think asians are more likely seen as 'booty calls.' It's an honour that women of all races enjoy. Less so the scotch, obviously. OW TAR CUT IT OUT!

[xpaperxcutx]

The asian fetish thing is annoying. My (actually-now-ex-) gf is asian, and she knows what you mean. There are plenty of guys who just see you as a peccadillo to explore. It's a problem us English guys have to put up with from many yank women - 'ooh, you're accent is so cute...' hey what about the real me! Stop unzipping my trousers!

Just weed out the asian fetishists. Ask potential suitors if they've had an asian gf before - I know people who have had three or four one after the other, and this must be quite objectifying for you.

 

Or just count your blessings and be glad you're not scotch.

 

Don't report me Taramere I only put that in to annoy you.

Collecter, I doubt I would like their answers even if they tell me. Sometimes I don't whether to take offense that I'm the first asian they've dated, or that they've already dated several asian girls before.

 

Guys don't think of a girl as a booty call because she's asian, black, white, hispanic, or purple. They do so because she's easy or seems like easy prey. I also doubt settling for someone your Mom will approve us is going to lead to happiness.

 

I don't know why you're having problems in your dating life but it sounds like you're looking for a quick fix and deciding the problem is race is a way for you to avoid actually exploring your problems.

 

I'm not having problems in my dating life M, I would just want guys to stop constantly asking me whether I'm freaky in bed just because I'm asian.

[trubella]

Guys don't think of a girl as a booty call because she's asian, black, white, hispanic, or purple.

 

dont agree with that, alot of guys i know of go into it with preconcieved notions about a certain race of woman and it becomes their main objective to "try" it out. ive had alot of guys outside my race contact me because of what they might have heard about blk women being freaks in bed etc.

 

which is just plain ignorant.. thankfully not all guys are like that, to the op you dont have to settle with just dating an asian guy, im sure there are men out there who are genuine and not just trying to get into your pants.

 

took me a few tries but i met one who looked passed the stereotypes.

[xpaperxcutx]

ALL Asian guys aren't doormats, I'm sure. Give it a try! You don't have to date them if you don't like them, but if you meet someone that seems interesting, don't categorically rule them out right away. Get to know them - they might surprise you.

 

I can tell you there are a lot of very cool Asian guys out there.

 

BUT nora, most asian guys are doormats. Even my best friend who's korean has her bf whipped.

[ed-205]

There is only *one* race on this planet, and it's called the "Human Race". The fact that we all come in different styles and colors makes us no different than dogs, cats, cars, motorcycles, socks, and everything else.

 

As for fetishes, *everybody* has one. They range from common to arcane, simply weird to totally sick. Having an Asian fetish, I would think, is fairly benign and doesn't necessarily make you a "booty call" to a guy that has one. It's simply part of what attracts him to you. If all he wants is "booty", it's not because he has a fetish, it's because he's a creep.

 

Your mother may never approve of the man you choose to spend your life with, but where will she be on your 50th Wedding Anniversary?

[xpaperxcutx]

There is only *one* race on this planet, and it's called the "Human Race". The fact that we all come in different styles and colors makes us no different than dogs, cats, cars, motorcycles, socks, and everything else.

 

As for fetishes, *everybody* has one. They range from common to arcane, simply weird to totally sick. Having an Asian fetish, I would think, is fairly benign and doesn't necessarily make you a "booty call" to a guy that has one. It's simply part of what attracts him to you. If all he wants is "booty", it's not because he has a fetish, it's because he's a creep.

 

Your mother may never approve of the man you choose to spend your life with, but where will she be on your 50th Wedding Anniversary?

 

I don't really care what my mother thinks, I was very rebellious back in high school. It's just I hate that she's always right about things especially about the guys in my life. She's constantly lecturing me that all Caucasian men are playboys and that I should just settle for a Chinese guy that's compatible with our lifestyle.

[cheezy100]

I'm starting to think my mom was right when she told me that I should date someone my own race. I never had a problem with interracial dating but from the moment I could be allowed to date, she was constantly at my throat that I should date someone asian, emphasis on the Chinese. She wants me to date someone like my cousin's fiance, who is a nice guy and all, but he reminds me of a Peter Griffin character without the wise-crack mentality. He's very loyal and loves my cousin very much, but I can't imagine myself being with a guy that has no backbone.

I've dated caucasians, greek, and spanish, but I've never once been with a asian guy. I've been attracted to a few guys before, but I've never saw myself with any one of them. But now since most other guys only see me as a booty call because they have an asian fetish, maybe I should just settle for dating a asian guy that my mom will approve of. I mean it wouldn't be so hard to find one since I live in a mostly asian neighborhood. I'm not happy, not happy at all.

 

I'm Chinese and I personally would prefer dating someone Chinese cuz then we can speak in Chinese and my family can speak to him as well. But I'm currently dating a Korean guy, and me and him just click. Better than my ex-Chinese bf. Although we can speak the same language, it didn't work out. My dad says that Korean guys are very prideful, needs to be a MAN, needs to lead, women does the housework...that type. He wants me to find a Chinese guy. But honestly, it's all about the feeling cuz you're the one that's dating him not your family. If you end up getting married, you're the one living with him, not your family. You should date someone who you CLICK with and who you like. My entire family disapproves my korean boyfriend not because he's korean, but because he's a drinker and a partier. At times my dad would say, "dating someone of your own race is the best because we share the same culture." First of all, I think my dad's racist. That just pisses me off. I will go for Asians only--Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Viet. I used to be attracted to white boys, but then I got over it. But I'm willing to accept him for who he is, I made that choice. It's you who are with him, not your family. You got to remember that. If you're not happy, then why do something like that.

[xpaperxcutx]

I'm Chinese and I personally would prefer dating someone Chinese cuz then we can speak in Chinese and my family can speak to him as well. But I'm currently dating a Korean guy, and me and him just click. Better than my ex-Chinese bf. Although we can speak the same language, it didn't work out. My dad says that Korean guys are very prideful, needs to be a MAN, needs to lead, women does the housework...that type. He wants me to find a Chinese guy. But honestly, it's all about the feeling cuz you're the one that's dating him not your family. If you end up getting married, you're the one living with him, not your family. You should date someone who you CLICK with and who you like. My entire family disapproves my korean boyfriend not because he's korean, but because he's a drinker and a partier. At times my dad would say, "dating someone of your own race is the best because we share the same culture." First of all, I think my dad's racist. That just pisses me off. I will go for Asians only--Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Viet. I used to be attracted to white boys, but then I got over it. But I'm willing to accept him for who he is, I made that choice. It's you who are with him, not your family. You got to remember that. If you're not happy, then why do something like that.

 

My mom is very racist as well, and her views are similar to your dad's. But it's frustrating how our parents can't overlook their own racism and try to embrace other cultures. They try to hold on too tightly to everything that makes them chinese and then expects us to embrace their ideals despite the fact that we're born here and we're very open minded thinkers.

 

I know that I don't need my parent's approval, and sometimes it infuriates my mom more than anything else that I would go against her wishes. She'll always want to play the culture card on me and blame me for being unfilial.

 

So why do you only date asians now?

[Shygirl15]

I think you have to be there, to know what she really talks about. I also go through the stereotype thing everyday and it's just so very depressing how people are excited by what they see on the surface rather than getting to know the 'real' person inside you.

 

However, like Trubella said, there are still a few out there who will overlook these silly stereotypes and would regard you for the person you are.

[cheezy100]

My mom is very racist as well, and her views are similar to your dad's. But it's frustrating how our parents can't overlook their own racism and try to embrace other cultures. They try to hold on too tightly to everything that makes them chinese and then expects us to embrace their ideals despite the fact that we're born here and we're very open minded thinkers.

 

I know that I don't need my parent's approval, and sometimes it infuriates my mom more than anything else that I would go against her wishes. She'll always want to play the culture card on me and blame me for being unfilial.

 

So why do you only date asians now?

 

I used to be infatuated with white guys. I had a crush on this one guy for 3 years. He knew it, but I've never had the confidence to officially confess. then he went out with a white girl (my classmate), and I just got over it. Moved on and found another white guy of interest. But this guy was nice at the beginning, but after he found out that I liked him and that I used to like his friend, he made my life miserable at school. All his friends knew and it was just embarassing. So from then on, I just gave up on likeing white guys. I know not all of them are JERKs, but I'd rather not get hurt again.

 

Plus with the whole Taiwanese and Korean drama wave...I just find Asians very attractive nowadays regardless if they are skinny or buff. I've always wanted a korean boyfriend, but meeting him just happened unexpectedly. I thought he was CHinese at first. I just tend to like Chinese and Koreans. This is my first time dating a korean guy. Honestly, I have really low confidence in getting guys I like because of past experiences. So I always wait till a guy approaches me and then I consider if I want to go out with them or not. I met my guy at a club, so coming from a conservative Chinese family, IT'S TROUBLE for them...and my family thinks it's NOT GOOD. It's a risk I made. But honestly, after going out with him, I'm happy and stress-free. That's why I say, go with your feelings and see if you two CLICK. Doesn't really matter about dating within your race. If you read my thread "My entire family dislikes him" you'll know what I mean.

[MalachiX]

I'm not having problems in my dating life M, I would just want guys to stop constantly asking me whether I'm freaky in bed just because I'm asian.

 

That's odd. If you're considering cutting out all guys who don't happen to be your race and making comments like "I'm not happy, I'm not happy at all," one might assume that you're not quite thrilled with your dating life...

 

And once again, guys are going to ask you if you're freaky in bed no matter what. They're not doing it because you're Asian, they're doing it because they're horny and rude. Commenting on you being Asian is just one aspect of you that happens to turn them on.

 

To be honest, most guys I know don't really think of Asian girls as freaky. Yes SOME have a fetish but most tend to assume that they're rather up tight since they often have rather up-tight/racist parents like the ones described in this thread.

 

You seem to think that, because some guys are turned on by Asians, that being Asian is your enemy or you need to date only other Asians. Guys are also turned on by a lot of other things. I hope you don't plan on horribly scaring your face or gaining a couple hundred pounds just to keep the creeps away.

 

Every half attractive woman gets hit on by creeps. It's not nice, it's not fair, but it's a fact of life. You seem like a fairly smart girl and it really does sound like you're frustrated with something else in your love life (I can't say what) and you're trying to shift focus to this whole racial thing to avoid dealing with a bigger issue. Just consider it at least.

 

dont agree with that, alot of guys i know of go into it with preconcieved notions about a certain race of woman and it becomes their main objective to "try" it out. ive had alot of guys outside my race contact me because of what they might have heard about blk women being freaks in bed etc.

 

Once again, the preconcieved notion about Asians isn't that they're freaky. Sadly, our culture tends to portray them and view them as up-tight and very studious (not easy lays). It is true that men are often turned on by other cultures because genetically we are programmed to seek variety. Nevertheless, if I guy is a creep, he's going to be creepy to women of his own race and others.

[norajane]

Nevertheless, if I guy is a creep, he's going to be creepy to women of his own race and others.

 

 

That's so true!

 

That same guy who's asking if you're freaky in bed because you're Asian, is also going around and asking other girls if they are freaky in bed because they have large breasts or a J Lo ass or whatever. Creeps are equal opportunity creeps.

[LoveDeluxe78]

 

Your mother may never approve of the man you choose to spend your life with, but where will she be on your 50th Wedding Anniversary?

 

I love what you wrote! Great line! My mom has always disapproved of the guys I've dated as well because she has this exact idea of who she wants me to date or marry, so you are right, I'll be stuck with that person, not my mama! But again, great line!

[Lights]

I'm starting to think my mom was right when she told me that I should date someone my own race. I never had a problem with interracial dating but from the moment I could be allowed to date, she was constantly at my throat that I should date someone asian, emphasis on the Chinese....

 

I've dated caucasians, greek, and spanish, but I've never once been with a asian guy. I've been attracted to a few guys before, but I've never saw myself with any one of them. But now since most other guys only see me as a booty call because they have an asian fetish, maybe I should just settle for dating a asian guy that my mom will approve of. I mean it wouldn't be so hard to find one since I live in a mostly asian neighborhood. I'm not happy, not happy at all.

 

"Settle" for dating who you actually like. To hell with the racists and any fetishists.

[LoveDeluxe78]

 

That's so true!

 

That same guy who's asking if you're freaky in bed because you're Asian, is also going around and asking other girls if they are freaky in bed because they have large breasts or a J Lo ass or whatever. Creeps are equal opportunity creeps.

 

Haha, equal opportunity creeps! I agree with that. As for the poster who stopped dating white guys; not all white guys are like that, you just happened to have met some jerks, and you can ask ANY woman, regardless of age, race and her preferences in men, and she'd tell you the string of jerks she's encountered in her dating history!

 

As for guys stereotyping, I do agree it goes on, but that usually comes to light pretty quickly, so just drop their asses the moment you see it happening! Good riddance; you don't want a guy who can't look past your outer shell anyway regardless if you're Asian, Black, Hispanic, White, have Big Boobs, Big Ass, Blonde, Brunette, Redhead, etc.....

[Mako482]

I'm starting to think my mom was right when she told me that I should date someone my own race. I never had a problem with interracial dating but from the moment I could be allowed to date, she was constantly at my throat that I should date someone asian, emphasis on the Chinese. She wants me to date someone like my cousin's fiance, who is a nice guy and all, but he reminds me of a Peter Griffin character without the wise-crack mentality. He's very loyal and loves my cousin very much, but I can't imagine myself being with a guy that has no backbone.

I've dated caucasians, greek, and spanish, but I've never once been with a asian guy. I've been attracted to a few guys before, but I've never saw myself with any one of them. But now since most other guys only see me as a booty call because they have an asian fetish, maybe I should just settle for dating a asian guy that my mom will approve of. I mean it wouldn't be so hard to find one since I live in a mostly asian neighborhood. I'm not happy, not happy at all.

 

I think you're tossing a huge generalization here. No different than a woman who has been done wrong saying all men only want one thing. I think Asian women are beautiful, and would date any woman of any race anyway. I am white and was married to a black woman for 10 years. I'm sure not all men who find you attractive have an Asian fetish, you are just meeting the wrong men in my opinion.

[The Collector]

Again, speaking for papercutx, my gf, and her friends - there are a lot of creepy asian fetishists out there right now. It does not compare with guys who like redheads, etc.

 

For the females, obviously, no one's interested in the poor asian men.

[almost famous]

Hey don't worry, there are hot Asian guys out there, especially some of the divers at the Olympics and that one speedskater who was also on Dancing with the Stars. HOT.