smorge Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 when me and my boyfriend got intimate we had sex every night for the first month or so well some personal things happened between him and his ex involving his kids and ever since then hes never in the mood. im lucky if we do it once every 3 weeks or so. he says its cause he is stressed out but i cant help but wonder if its because he is no longer attracted to me. how can i tell if he is still into me or not?? im new to this whole thing and dont have a clue. he told me if he lost interest in me he would tell me but i dont know what to believe.i tried talking to him about it but he just says hes not into sex cause of stress. i know he has been very stressed lately because of the things he is going through but its like i have taken the back burner cause of his problem. he tells me all the time that when things are done with his ex that things between me and him will get back to normal. but i just wonder if he is still attracted to me. i just dont know and i dont want to bring it up cause i dont want to upset him.
Lucky_One Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 Are you in month 2 now? Or has time progressed between daily sex and tri-weekly sex? How, um, "personal" did things get with his ex? Are they divorced, or just separated? Did they have sex?
Author smorge Posted September 8, 2008 Author Posted September 8, 2008 his ex walked out on him and his kids after like 6 years on mothers day. well she left him with the kids and on july 22 she came to the house and took them from him. they worked out the whole custody thing and they have 50-50 custody of the kids. me and him have been together almost 4 months and for the last 2 months im lucky if he is in the mood once every 3 weeks. its driving me crazy and i dont know what to do anymore.
Lucky_One Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 He's only been separated since May 11? That is only 4 months. It sounds like you jumped into a still-warm bed. Personally, I would give him lots of space. I have learned never ever to date a recently separated man. They are damaged goods - at least for a while.
Author smorge Posted September 8, 2008 Author Posted September 8, 2008 thats the thing i thought it was to soon for him to get into another relationship but he is the one that asked me out. after about 3 weeks of us dating it got serious.i moved in with him and his kids. everything was fine until his ex did what she did. i asked him if he thought it was to soon and he said that he was ready to move on. he said he doesnt want anything to do with his ex cause of how bad she hurt the kids by walking out on them. i have been giving him his space for the past month and we dont even sleep in the same bed no more. he falls asleep on the couch and i end up going up stairs to bed. i just wish i knew what has changed between me and him.
Lucky_One Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 If I were you, I would think about moving back from where I came from, until he gets his head straight. You are right - that is WAY too soon to move in with him, esp if he has children. Those kids must be so completely confused. This guy may want to date, or he may want to try to reconcile with his wife. That is the vibe I am getting. You may have just been a revenge thing.
Author smorge Posted September 8, 2008 Author Posted September 8, 2008 should i ask him about that?? i mean im totally confused. now i known him for a year before we got together. he used to work with me and he told me that he liked me since the first time he we met. his daughter just turned 4 and his son just turned 1. his daughter knows that her mom and dad aint getting back together and she has already said that she dont want nothing to do with her mom. i believe him when he says he wouldnt get back together with his ex girlfriend. i just want to work out this problem so things can go back to the way they were between me and him.
gummybear Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 thats the thing i thought it was to soon for him to get into another relationship but he is the one that asked me out. after about 3 weeks of us dating it got serious.i moved in with him and his kids. everything was fine until his ex did what she did. i asked him if he thought it was to soon and he said that he was ready to move on. he said he doesnt want anything to do with his ex cause of how bad she hurt the kids by walking out on them. i have been giving him his space for the past month and we dont even sleep in the same bed no more. he falls asleep on the couch and i end up going up stairs to bed. i just wish i knew what has changed between me and him. key quote --> 'he's ready to move on' Ready to move on is VERY different from 'already moved on'. He's ready to move on which means he is just starting to move on. He's not over his ex yet and unless you want to have your heart severly broken, I recommend you consider leaving the relationship. Give it maybe a few more weeks and if things don't improve or get worse, be ready for yourself to move on.
bliscio Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I agree…[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]It’s funny I thought all women were nuts!! ( from some an ex)[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Until I went through some sh**. And I was the one spacing out and forgetting[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]simple things. Seeming like I didn’t care, But it’s hard to enjoy yourself when you still have a knife still stuck in your back. I think a little time & if he can’t pull it together. You need to think of your life.[/sIZE][/FONT]
jen's mind Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 You have put yourself in a bad situation, and unless you want to prolong a bad situation and screw yourself, you really need to leave now. Take it as a learning experience. Next time you'll know that anytime kids are involved, there's no such thing as "me and him."
sultry33 Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 should i ask him about that?? i mean im totally confused. now i known him for a year before we got together. he used to work with me and he told me that he liked me since the first time he we met. his daughter just turned 4 and his son just turned 1. his daughter knows that her mom and dad aint getting back together and she has already said that she dont want nothing to do with her mom. i believe him when he says he wouldnt get back together with his ex girlfriend. i just want to work out this problem so things can go back to the way they were between me and him. a 5 yr old knows nothing about feelings believe me.. 2 months in an the sex is dried up.. because of stress.. not good you need to talk to him.. i think you deserve better and he was on the rebound.. id be hitting the door now saying sort your life out when he is ready then you will know x
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