4givrnt4gtr Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 I am so frustrated...i guess i just want to vent.... Im very sick, i got a horrible cold, ive been sick for a few days and its killing me. So obviously it makes it all even more horrible than it would normally be. Yesterday my bf went to play his sport during the day. He usually does that so its not a big deal. He had told me after the game he was goin to come over but then he called me saying his friends wanted to go have a few beers. I was fine with that because we've seen each other almost every day we can so I didnt mind the change of plans. I told him he could come over afterwards if he didnt want to drive out to where he lived. He called me at 1 saying he was dropping his friend off and then he was going to be on his way. I noticed he was a bit drunk so I asked him to stay at his friends and to call me in the morning. He called this morning and asked if i wanted to come down to watch his match today. I agreed and meet up with him at the park. Once there i noticed he wasnt too comfortable with me there. He and his friends speak in another language i dont understand so I dont really get to interact much with him and his friends. On top of that there are no other girls around and he seemed to be uncomfortable because I had wore very short shorts and apparently some of the guys were eyeing me. As i said I have been feeling very sick for a few days so after his game he said he was gonna hang out with his friends and have a few beers. He asked if I wanted to go, that it'll be fine, that he would catch up with me in a few minutes when his ride decided to leave. I was a bit annoyed that he would send me away after I stayed for the whole game but I understood that it was because i wasnt feeling good. I then asked if we could go have dinner at this restaurant near my place and he said yes, that he would call me when he was on his way. About an hour or so later he called me and left me a message saying that his friends wanted to go grab dinner and he was going with them so to call him back and tell him what i wanted him to grab for me. I was soooooo mad!!! I called him back telling him not to worry and that id be getting myself some dinner. I was in tears. Not only was I feeling sick, but then my bf stood me up. (this is when I dont know if im exaggerating and being extra dramatic...what do you think??) He called back and asked me if i was mad. I said that well he had to do what he had to do, and he said that he had no choice since he didnt drive. I had forgotten about that little detail, but still, Im irritated. I told him that this was the second time in a row that he canceled plans with me and that i really didnt want him to make it a habit. I didnt like how the conversation ended so I sent him a txt saying that i was sorry for being a b itch but that being sick makes me cranky. He responded saying he understood and that he had given in to peer pressure but that those were his buddies and only got to see them during the weekend (true). That he had gotten me a really good dish and that he was very grateful for having come down to see him. Am i being unreasonable? am I being a B** for being mad that he chose to go to dinner with his friends instead of with me especially since im sick??
JoeNewbie Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 Assuming you two are in a relationship, I honestly see nothing wrong with what he did.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted September 8, 2008 Author Posted September 8, 2008 Assuming you two are in a relationship, I honestly see nothing wrong with what he did. I honestly think that my problem is that Im sick and I want him to take care of me somehow, even if it is just by coming with me to dinner... again, as i said it might be me feeling miserable that is making it worse...i dont know
JoeNewbie Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 I honestly think that my problem is that Im sick and I want him to take care of me somehow, even if it is just by coming with me to dinner... again, as i said it might be me feeling miserable that is making it worse...i dont know I guess it depends on the way that he treats you on a longer period of time. I don't think we can have a real opinion based on the two events you described. Take it easy.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted September 8, 2008 Author Posted September 8, 2008 I guess it depends on the way that he treats you on a longer period of time. I don't think we can have a real opinion based on the two events you described. Take it easy. I guess my point is.....when your bf/ gf is sick, and she asked u to have dinner with him/her...wouldnt that be a priority? or at the very least a concern? I know he had no ride, but if that were me Id tell me ride, u know, thanks for the invite but i told CC that Id have dinner with him. Am i wrong about this???? (then again, there were a bunch of guys and Im sure he would have been upset at missing that.....but then...why am i the payee in all this? Its 10pm and I still havent had dinner!!!!! )
JoeNewbie Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 I guess my point is.....when your bf/ gf is sick, and she asked u to have dinner with him/her...wouldnt that be a priority? or at the very least a concern? I know he had no ride, but if that were me Id tell me ride, u know, thanks for the invite but i told CC that Id have dinner with him. Am i wrong about this???? (then again, there were a bunch of guys and Im sure he would have been upset at missing that.....but then...why am i the payee in all this? Its 10pm and I still havent had dinner!!!!! ) I see your point but if you were really sick, what were you doing at the game? As for your asking to have dinner with him, again it depends on your relationship. If you are seriously dating and already see each other every day, then I don't think this is a big deal.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted September 8, 2008 Author Posted September 8, 2008 I see your point but if you were really sick, what were you doing at the game? As for your asking to have dinner with him, again it depends on your relationship. If you are seriously dating and already see each other every day, then I don't think this is a big deal. Being a doormat, thats what. I should have said I couldnt go cuz Im sick. And you know i disagree with you...It doesnt matter how long you've been with someone. If they ask you to do something with them and you agree, I dont see why it would make a difference wether u are in a established relationship or not. Unless something really serious happened, you better be there. Not "oh a better plan came up so I guess i wont be seeing you after all" yup, thats why im pissed
JoeNewbie Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 Being a doormat, thats what. I should have said I couldnt go cuz Im sick. And you know i disagree with you...It doesnt matter how long you've been with someone. If they ask you to do something with them and you agree, I dont see why it would make a difference wether u are in a established relationship or not. Unless something really serious happened, you better be there. Not "oh a better plan came up so I guess i wont be seeing you after all" yup, thats why im pissed It's ok to disagree... My point is, if I have dinner with my GF every night and cancel every now and then, that is perfectly normal. I wouldn't date someone who would get pissed if I spend a bit of unexpected time with my friends.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted September 8, 2008 Author Posted September 8, 2008 It's ok to disagree... My point is, if I have dinner with my GF every night and cancel every now and then, that is perfectly normal. I wouldn't date someone who would get pissed if I spend a bit of unexpected time with my friends. Nope we dont have dinner every night, we dont see each other every day. The past two weeks have been an exception because I just came back from a two week trip. But usually we see each other once a week or 2 at most. You know, im getting irritated at how I dont know what feelings are ok for me to feel. As in I often wonder if Im being too touchy or sensitive about this or that. Its irritating to not know which ones of your feelings are appropiate
Jersey Shortie Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 First, you're a little whiney about being sick. People suffer greater injustice and pain everyday. So seriously, man up a little on that. Secondly, regardless if you are sick or not, he agreed to plans with you then ditched you for his friends. Not too cool and I would be upset as well. Is this something he regularly does? Was this a first time thing? I would talk to him about it and cut him slack if this is the first time he has ever done something like this. It's one thing for you to ask him to dinner and for him to say "Hey, I can't tonight because I'm are planning on grabing a bit to eat with the guys". That's understandable. It's a totally different situation to make plans with you then back out because of "peer pressure". Come on, little boys in 10th grade submit to peer pressure. Hopefully not grown men. And guys, seriously take note. Peer pressure is not a good excuse for anyone over the age of 17. It makes you look like a whimp who can't stand up to his friends. You might think it makes you looked kitty wiped to your friends, but it makes you look like a whimp to your girlfriend as well. He should have honored his commitment to you because he made it to you first. If this is the first time he did something like that I would give him a break. If this is something he keeps doing, he need to have a serious talk about him and respecting your relationship. Making plans witha girlfriend and boyfriend and then ditching them for friends isn't respecting your relationship.
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