Should I or Shouldn't I?

[vonerik012]

Is it just me, or doesn't one have to date someone (I know it's not a date, but simply a dinner ) to determine if someone has morals, integrity, and honesty? Again just me, but doesn't there have to be some sort of "attraction" to even want to go forth with a date?

 

I'm a serial "emotionally suicidal" person, but I don't think I could have figured any of that out without at least giving a person a chance. Maybe because to me a few calls just isn't the same as being eye to eye and believing what is said and believing a person to be sincere.

 

Did you say that you have proof that he has a girl in every port? I was under the impression that those thoughts were more of an assumption based on his profession and stature.

 

I can't help but think of Matt Damon and Luciana (Lucy.) She served him drinks in a Miami bar, was skeptical of who he said he was, and they have married and just had yet another child.

 

While I don't know the Damon's personally, he dated many starlets and chose to marry a person of a more common stature.

 

I suppose in this circumstance I would guard my heart even more, wondering what a man who could have anyone would want with me (other than the obvious.) I don't think you, TBF, have the esteem issues I have suffered from. You come across as confident, not one to be played for the fool. I don't worry about you or your heart. You have your head on your shoulders, still.

 

Me? I'd sleep with him, regardless, just so I could say I did! If he seemed to be so inclined, that is.

 

Well, maybe not if I really liked him. That's the way I usually go. I certainly never went nearly two years without. None of them were even close to famous. (I mean that as a compliment to you.)

 

I can't wait to hear how things go because I trust your judgment and honesty above all. Even if you show an impulsive side!

 

What? Another American woman who sleeps with men they DO NOT want to date? lol What is this all about?

[Trialbyfire]

ddl, those are total assumptions on my part about a girl in every port. He's really hot and charismatic in person, hence my assumption. My cuz will find out more for me by tomorrow. While I normally don't get involved in Tinsel Town gossip, I do know that she's got her finger on the pulse, if need be.

 

I normally presource out all my dates, usually knowing them for years or at minimum, being able to find out more, previous to accepting a first date. As melody matters calls it, logical love.

 

In many ways, that's what I'm doing with A., with my cousin, although this won't be as accurate as I'm used to. If she turns up anything really, really bad and is certain of the accuracy, I will cancel tomorrow night, hormones or not.

[dropdeadlegs]

What? Another American woman who sleeps with men they DO NOT want to date? lol What is this all about?

Yep, I admit I'm American, for one, and I have certainly slept with men I felt nothing more than a sexual chemistry.

 

Not everything I admit honestly is a point of pride, but it's all true.

 

However, I don't see TBF as actually going through with that if she doesn't feel something far more than chemistry. I predict that any chemistry will hold her hormones at bay that much longer.

[D-Lish]

I can't help but think of Matt Damon and Luciana (Lucy.) She served him drinks in a Miami bar, was skeptical of who he said he was, and they have married and just had yet another child.

 

 

She was a "dancer".... so she'd had some experience with acting/showmanship etc. It's cool though- she's pretty average looking. And he also dated a shoplifter....

 

But hey- I love Matt Damon. He's my "hollywood crush". He's never liked blondes though:mad: Matt has never dated any "hot-hot-hotties" he seems to be into the girl next store type. Winona? Clair Danes? Both pretty- but not the tip of the hotness ice-berg in hollywood.

 

TBF is no Lucy- she's way hotter... (did you see her pics?)

 

As I said before... if I was in an elevator, I'd probably ask her out too.

So would VON....lol.

[Prodigal Princess]

Well I don't have much to add at this stage, only that I got all excited this morning thinking that you would be going on your date tonight, then I realised that due to the time difference I was about a day early.

 

I will be sending you happy vibes when I wake up tomorrow, because that's about the time you will be going to bed after your date... Alone or not!

 

(Oh, and your outfit sounds like a total slayer. )

[vonerik012]

Exactly.. Matt Damon married a foreign woman who was a bartender in Miami, and a single mom..Yes, average looking.

 

I just find it odd that so many American women sleep with men they do not want to date, and withhold from men they do want to date.

 

After living in a few different countries I find that to be unique to the USA. If you sleep with a woman in other places, you better be her boyfriend.

[Tomcat33]

I know I am right, so say whatever you like to save face..

 

You are completely giddy about going on a date with a man who you perceive to be a womanizer. He even reminds you of your cheater ex. You are insinuating having sex with him, and giving him your body.

 

In the past, you said men who sleep with a lot of women are a turn off. I called BS. You stated you have strict moral requirements in a potential date. I called BS.

 

And from the tone of your words, you already seem pretty emotional. I do not for one second believe that you would be content having one good date, and possibly one night of sex and never hearing from him again. That is not how you tick.

 

 

He makes some very valid points. Not to be a Debbie Downer but I sort of saw this too.

 

I know you are just wanting to have fun and I think that's great! I think you should, you should let loose and have some fun and enjoy the attention of this new and exciting guy. But there are a few things that I see as alarming from your stand point TBF as I have read this thread through now and that make me wonder, as Von says, if you really DO know what you want.

 

1) if it is just a fun situation and you are not looking for this to be more than it is why did you let the other guy know that you would be dating this guy? There is no need to be honest about wanting to have a fling with another guy, especially if you were dating a guy that seemed like a much safer bet

 

2) if you really ARE looking at this as a casual situation (and to me this is the most important thing I am seeing looking from the outside in) why are you googling the crap out of this guy to get juice on him and reaching out to your cousin etc. to get the dirt on him? If you want a casual thing then who cares about all that, as long as he is not married, which you already know that, so why even go deeper to find out stuff you will find out eventually by dating him?

 

I can seen what Von is saying and why when reading something like this it confuses men and it says "women say this but really the MEAN this".

I never could understand women that go out with a guy with a "he's just going to be fun" attitude but that also get super into the whole idea almost to the point where it seems they are hoping it CAN lead to more?

On some level you must feel that, I just hope you are aware of that.

[Trialbyfire]

Thanks PP! I'm really excited about tomorrow night.

 

This thread isn't for the benefit of men who read it. More things I don't give a crap about! It's for my benefit or has everyone forgotten that?

[D-Lish]

Exactly.. Matt Damon married a foreign woman who was a bartender in Miami, and a single mom..Yes, average looking.

.

 

My best friend always says.... date someone who isn't as hot as you are so they are less likely to cheat and more likely to covet you.

[dropdeadlegs]

 

I just find it odd that so many American women sleep with men they do not want to date, and withhold from men they do want to date.

 

I can only speak for myself, but sex on a first date with a man I'm interested in doesn't hold the same anticipation factor. I've actually explained that because I'm interested, I withhold. They keep coming back, so it says as much about American men as it does about American women.

Thanks PP! I'm really excited about tomorrow night.

 

This thread isn't for the benefit of men who read it. More things I don't give a crap about! It's for my benefit or has everyone forgotten that?

Sweetie, you have the hot thread, few go past a page or two. I don't think anyone has forgotten that it is for your benefit, despite some of the "asides" the thread has prompted. C'mon, you've been guilty of an aside or two....

 

My best friend always says.... date someone who isn't as hot as you are so they are less likely to cheat and more likely to covet you.

I've heard this, too, but doesn't that "rule" always leave the less-hot person feeling vulnerable? I think cheating is about a person's (the cheater) ego more than their partner's hot-ness.

 

You mentioned TBF's pics, and she's certainly hot (yes, I've seen the pics) and yet she was cheated on. So was Halle Berry, Uma Thurman, and many other beauties.

 

BUT, all this digresses from the point at hand.

 

You go girl! I'm happy to see you opening up enough to date at all. I know how much it took to take these chances after what you've been through. I'm seeing a healing process taking place, and that can never be bad.

[Trialbyfire]

For those of you who are sincerely interested in what happens tomorrow night, PM me and I'll share an update on Friday morning.

 

I'm irrevocably sick, sick, sick and tired of the gender wars that pollute all the threads on this site, so I'm going to ask the admin/mod team if they would please lock this thread.

[Trialbyfire]

I can only speak for myself, but sex on a first date with a man I'm interested in doesn't hold the same anticipation factor. I've actually explained that because I'm interested, I withhold. They keep coming back, so it says as much about American men as it does about American women.

 

Sweetie, you have the hot thread, few go past a page or two. I don't think anyone has forgotten that it is for your benefit, despite some of the "asides" the thread has prompted. C'mon, you've been guilty of an aside or two....

 

 

I've heard this, too, but doesn't that "rule" always leave the less-hot person feeling vulnerable? I think cheating is about a person's (the cheater) ego more than their partner's hot-ness.

 

You mentioned TBF's pics, and she's certainly hot (yes, I've seen the pics) and yet she was cheated on. So was Halle Berry, Uma Thurman, and many other beauties.

 

BUT, all this digresses from the point at hand.

 

You go girl! I'm happy to see you opening up enough to date at all. I know how much it took to take these chances after what you've been through. I'm seeing a healing process taking place, and that can never be bad.

Thanks love. I'm not talking about you in the least. I'm sincerely fed up with the gender wars and women bashing on this site. What started out as some confusion on my part to go or not go, turned into members being interested in the outcome, wanting updates. Now it's once again turned into a female bashing thing. I won't put up with it, in one of my threads. The asides themselves don't bother me at all.

[D-Lish]

For those of you who are sincerely interested in what happens tomorrow night, PM me and I'll share an update on Friday morning.

 

I'm irrevocably sick, sick, sick and tired of the gender wars that pollute all the threads on this site, so I'm going to ask the admin/mod team if they would please lock this thread.

 

Never give a S^*t about what anyone else thinks- and just enjoy yourself. I think it's a freakin shame when people invade a thread and make the op feel uncomfprtable.

 

I've asked mods to stop a thread for me before- and they did not.

;-) But often- if people are being retarded... I don't go back to my original threads.

 

I'll Pm ya tomorrow.

Good luck- and never give a crap what other's think.

[Trialbyfire]

Never give a S^*t about what anyone else thinks- and just enjoy yourself. I think it's a freakin shame when people invade a thread and make the op feel uncomfprtable.

 

I've asked mods to stop a thread for me before- and they did not.

;-) But often- if people are being retarded... I don't go back to my original threads.

 

I'll Pm ya tomorrow.

Good luck- and never give a crap what other's think.

Hey D, I don't really care what these guys think, what I care about is this thread and how it's flowing. I really am tired of the gender bashing. It's annoying in its droning. It's like having a toothache or wanting to vomit and being unable to.

[Nemo]

Oh! I am so glad you are going to go!

You'll have a blast!

Was that an ejaculation reference? Nicely done.

[Tomcat33]

Thanks love. I'm not talking about you in the least. I'm sincerely fed up with the gender wars and women bashing on this site. What started out as some confusion on my part to go or not go, turned into members being interested in the outcome, wanting updates. Now it's once again turned into a female bashing thing. I won't put up with it, in one of my threads. The asides themselves don't bother me at all.

 

 

How has this turned into a gender war????

 

Some people are seeing from the ouside in, something that you might fail to see.

I'm curious why would you even post this situation for the public to comment on if you don't want that??

 

 

Was that an ejaculation reference? Nicely done.

 

:lmao::lmao:

[Mending1985]

Maybe because a lot of the replies have nothing to do with whether or not she should date him, but to do with how women apparently think and what they do wrong (vonerik - sounding familiar yet???) - I think that's what TBF is getting at...

[D-Lish]

How has this turned into a gender war????

 

Some people are seeing from the ouside in, something that you might fail to see.

I'm curious why would you even post this situation for the public to comment on if you don't want that??

 

 

 

 

:lmao::lmao:

 

It's Vonerick TomCat..... and he's draining.

I told her to put him on ignore......

We always want people tp comment on out posts- when certain posters get "mean".... freakin unload them.

"ignore button"....

[Tomcat33]

Sorry but in this instance I don't see how what he said is getting mean, if she asked should I date him or not and people are pointing out the obvious inconsitencies in her comments then isn't that in the hopes that she can work out why she would give up on going out with a guy that was safe with a guy that pretty much stands for (on paper and on preconceived notions) everything she tends to disrepects in men?

 

It is a valid observation.

 

Personally I found this thread to be a bit shocking myself.

[Mending1985]

Who mentioned giving up?

 

Last I read it was about multi-dating...? Or did I get lost

[Nemo]

This thread is like a theoretical exercise in stupidity. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

[Tomcat33]

Who mentioned giving up?

 

Last I read it was about multi-dating...? Or did I get lost

 

 

Well she said she was going to tell the other guy to leave it up to him and be honest. So she was willing to have him walk in order to date this new guy, it just so happened the other guy still wants to see her.

 

Whatev that's irrelevant really, she is entitled to date as many guys as she wants when she pleases no questions or explanations asked. Period. The point was that Von's observation was that women will give up on something safe for something not so safe, despite how they say on the forefront what the most important things are. This thread is a good example of that.

 

The bottom line is we all make exceptions when we are excited about someone that rocks our world, despite how much they really "do fit" into our ideal expectations. It was an interesting observation I also noticed. It played out nicely here and I think it is very much ON topic.

 

She had hesitations about what she is doing (or she did earlier in the thread) and she said she is over her head with this guy because he is so flirty etc and she also is saying that she is not serious about him and only wants fun and there is a lot of contradiction going on.

SO this could be a recipe for heartache if she is not realistic in what she is doing. Googling someone to death is not the behaviour of someone who is just looking for some fun.

[Trialbyfire]

TC, I don't date nutbars or strangers or any combination of the two. If I'm going to spend an evening alone with anyone, I want to know more. It's called common sense.

[Nemo]

nutbars

You're making me hungry.

[vonerik012]

TBF. stop complaining..

 

It is not a gender thread. Weak excuse.

 

It is your own words. You are enamored with a "player". The same type of guy you always said you would never date... Remember "honesty, integrity, morals" are what is always important .. And of course you always said you would not date a man that slept with a lot of women lololol..

 

Sorry if you are called ut on what you are always against...