Should I or Shouldn't I?

[Trialbyfire]

As some of you know, I tend to date men who I've known for quite awhile in a "friends first" situation or at minimum, have a way to vet their backgrounds through assorted friends and connections. It's not always the case but most often.

 

For the past week+, I've been seeing a guy who moved in next door, who coincidentally is a friend of a friend, going to mutual friends' parties for years. In the past, we've always been otherwise committed, so we've never been anything but friends. We've gotten together for four dates now in a week. Quite a bit.

 

He's a relationship-style guy, a great guy. Smart, funny and a gentleman. We're obviously not at any serious stage, definitely not exclusive, just casually dating.

 

I was running out quickly tonight to pick up some dinner, waiting for the elevator to arrive, when I noticed someone coming out of another unit, a few doors down from mine. I recognized him as a screen actor, not leading man but not a bit part actor either. We made eye contact and started chatting. We rode down the elevator together and by the end of the ride, he asked me out. I turned him down more out of reflex than anything else so he gave me his business card, to call him anytime. Very smooth and charming.

 

So here's my conundrum. Should I or shouldn't I call? I'm curious since he was very interesting, witty, smart and articulate and yet, the rep of most actors isn't great, not that I would expect anything serious with this man, for certain.

[JoeNewbie]

I would DEFINITELY call.

[CaliGuy]

As some of you know, I tend to date men who I've known for quite awhile in a "friends first" situation or at minimum, have a way to vet their backgrounds through assorted friends and connections. It's not always the case but most often.

 

For the past week+, I've been seeing a guy who moved in next door, who coincidentally is a friend of a friend, going to mutual friends' parties for years. In the past, we've always been otherwise committed, so we've never been anything but friends. We've gotten together for four dates now in a week. Quite a bit.

 

He's a relationship-style guy, a great guy. Smart, funny and a gentleman. We're obviously not at any serious stage, definitely not exclusive, just casually dating.

 

I was running out quickly tonight to pick up some dinner, waiting for the elevator to arrive, when I noticed someone coming out of another unit, a few doors down from mine. I recognized him as a screen actor, not leading man but not a bit part actor either. We made eye contact and started chatting. We rode down the elevator together and by the end of the ride, he asked me out. I turned him down more out of reflex than anything else so he gave me his business card, to call him anytime. Very smooth and charming.

 

So here's my conundrum. Should I or shouldn't I call? I'm curious since he was very interesting, witty, smart and articulate and yet, the rep of most actors isn't great, not that I would expect anything serious with this man, for certain.

 

Ummm, what about the friend, TBF? You just going to ditch him?

[Trialbyfire]

Thanks JoeNewbie.

 

No Cali, if I do call, I'll mention it to the other guy that I'm going to be multi-dating and let him make his own decision from there.

[JoeNewbie]

Thanks JoeNewbie.

 

No Cali, if I do call, I'll mention it to the other guy that I'm going to be multi-dating and let him make his own decision from there.

 

I don't think you should say anything to anyone, but that's just me. Unless the guy is your BF, what you do when you're not with him is not exactly his business. I mean, should you really pass on a potentially good opportunity for some guy you've been dating for a very short period of time?

[Trialbyfire]

While I understand what you're saying, I can't not say anything. It's the way I've always rolled, letting guys know upfront. This way, they can decide if they still want to date or not. It's fairplay.

[JoeNewbie]

While I understand what you're saying, I can't not say anything. It's the way I've always rolled, letting guys know upfront. This way, they can decide if they still want to date or not. It's fairplay.

 

Alright that is very fair and honest indeed...

[Trialbyfire]

Thanks Joe. That's nice of you to say.

[vonerik012]

Just curious, how does it work out casually dating a next door neighbor?

 

I ask because I have a cute neighbor who flirts with me, stops over etc, but I would feel kind of odd dating someone who lives 10 ft away.. Always seeing them, see where each other is going, what they are doing, etc.

[Storyrider]

TBF, would you have felt OK if he came to you and said he was going to multi-date after having met someone interesting, or would you have been miffed?

[Star Gazer]

I would absolutely call.

 

Not all actors warrant the reputation the profession has earned. It's the few that give them all a bad name.

 

(Not unlike attorneys. )

[Trialbyfire]

von, I've done it before. Not a big deal. We're all grown ups here.

 

Story, I hear you and understand.

 

Star, thanks. Wish I knew more about him. I've already googled him and have found nothing of any import...yet!

[almost famous]

Ummm, what about the friend, TBF? You just going to ditch him?

 

She stated that they were just casually dating and not exclusive.

[Prodigal Princess]

I would absolutely call.

 

Not all actors warrant the reputation the profession has earned. It's the few that give them all a bad name.

 

(Not unlike attorneys. )

 

100% agree with Star.

 

TBF, you have absolutely nothing to lose here and everything to gain. You're going in with a guarded heart so you won't even get hurt until you decide he's worth the risk.

 

I'd be careful with the googling, though. I once went on a first date with a very famous actor and in conversation, accidently spilled too much and it became obvious I had google-stalked him. Some of the information I had wasn't even correct. The shame!

 

Anyway, good luck and please keep us updated!

[Trialbyfire]

Yes, that's true almost famous. We've only been dating for a week+, casually and non-exclusively.

 

PP, if I do decide to go ahead, shield up for certain! He's no rookie at this from what I experienced in a very short time.

[Nemo]

If you're in the mood, just yell "action," and he'll be ready to go.

[Trialbyfire]

To give the grips some time, at minimum, 3,2,1 would be necessary.

[2sunny]

i'd just wait a bit and see if i run into him again. if he wants to see you - it is amazing how they end up accidentally bumping into you... :lmao:

 

in the meantime - can you keep your eyes and ears open to see if anyone around can tell you anything about his personality/character? you may hear something about him that would eliminate him from being a consideration at all.

 

in the meantime - enjoy the company of the next door neighbor. don't blow that one just yet - because you know enough about him to have enjoyed him and his company already.

[D-Lish]

Actor's do have that bad rep of sleeping with copious amounts of women... Pretty much because it's easy for them- and they rarely get turned down.

 

Pretty smooth to ask you out so quickly- even smoother my friend that you turned him down!

 

I would suspect that dating the actor would be short and fleeting.

SO- I'd weigh out what this new guys offers you and whether or not you can juggle both and save the neighbour for a possible relationship- yet have some fun with the actor.... or just not call the actor at all....

 

Imagine that- a girl turned him down- he's never forget you!

 

What are your thoughts about neighbour?

Truly.... is he worth more of an investment?

Are you ready to settle down- or do you want to have some more fun?

 

What are you thinking?

Please tell me it's not Nicholas cage- because he's ew. haha just kidding:lmao:

[Jersey Shortie]

Just curious, how does it work out casually dating a next door neighbor?

 

I ask because I have a cute neighbor who flirts with me, stops over etc, but I would feel kind of odd dating someone who lives 10 ft away.. Always seeing them, see where each other is going, what they are doing, etc.

 

You do realize, that even though she lives next door to you, she is going to age like all the rest don't you?

 

 

To Trial, I would totally call him. You said you are dating this other guy causually. You never know what could happen. He hasn't staked a claim on you so you shouldn't close the door on other prospects until he has. That is if he even want him too. I think meeting new people always teaches us something about ourselves anyway.

[Trialbyfire]

Good thoughts 2sunny! I can't ask around since I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone where he lived. He's been stalked before. Yes, my neighbor is a great guy. No complaints at all.

 

The entire acting thing concerns me D-Lish. Haha...wish it was intentionally smooth but more reflex action than anything else. The word "no" seems to have become part of my vocab! Yes, I've been evaluating this since it happened. I do like my neighbour, always have liked him but as a distant friend, in the past. He's got a lot going for him. I'm in no hurry to settle down with anyone. I've learned to value my freedom a lot. No, it's not Nicholas Cage...

 

JS, while my neighbor is a great guy, the actor is intriguing. Something about him. Very charismatic, very sexy, even more so off-screen. His presence hits you like a ton of bricks. If I were in an exclusive, committed relationship with my neighbor, this wouldn't even be an issue. The door's closed when that happens, no matter what. That I'm not in a hurry to get into a relationship with anyone, is part of the problem, I think.

[Storyrider]

Now we're all absolutely dying to know who it is!

[Trialbyfire]

Story, I will describe him but beyond that no more. He's 6'+, blond-haired, blue-eyed, born a Canadian, tanned, grooved dimples on his cheeks, lean and fit, and is over 35.

[Storyrider]

Story, I will describe him but beyond that no more. He's 6'+, blond-haired, blue-eyed, born a Canadian, tanned, grooved dimples on his cheeks, lean and fit, and is over 35.

Sounds very nice...but I have no clue who he might be. I guess that is for the best.

[Nemo]

His presence hits you like a ton of bricks.

I would prefer a ton of pricks.

 

If this guy has a chameleonic, yet recondite, character, then it will be so much fun to uncover his multifaceted, mosaic personality. Just as long as he's not pretending to be bigger than he really is.