ambied421 Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 I still feel terrible, and it is six months later. i broke up with him. It was not working, I felt that he was emotionally unavailable, and he had told me he still had his guard up. I was unbearable getting close to him, so he could only push me away. I got tired of waiting for him to get close to me. He would stand me up at will, and never return phone calls. So, six months ago, I broke it off. I knew it would hurt him, because he is quite sensitive. He had told me days before I did it that he trusted me and really cared about me, but still had his guard up. We had dated almost a year. Then he proceeded to stand me up that next night when we had plans together. Unfortunately, i work with him. I believe it has been harder for me to get over him and move on because we work in the same place. I have not talked to him since the day I broke things off. Six months of not talking to someone you work with is really hard. About 3 months ago I started noticing that he was driving past my house. I eventually was outside one day a few weeks ago and caught him doing it, and I am assuming since then he has stopped. Seeing him drive past hurt, because I have gone out of my way at work to NOT see him. I even changed my schedule so I wouldn't run into him. I just want opinions. I feel I did the right thing in breaking things off, I have never broken up with anyone and assumed the dumper always had it easier. Boy was I wrong. I feel terrible and guilty. I miss him so much, and it kills me not to see him at work, when he was the best part of my work day. I heard he was seeing someone (from another co-worker who does not know we ever dated), yet he was still driving past my house. I don't understand why I still feel the way I do, or why he was driving past even though he had moved on to someone new. Anyone have any thoughts, or any advice in moving on. I feel like I'm drowning.
citizen67 Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 I know the drowning feeling. You are doing everything right. You deserve better. I don't know what this emotional stuff is that makes us miss guys who are bad for us - shouldn't evolution be weeding out as*hol* guys allready? That sucks that you work w/ your ex, any kind of forced contact or apprehension of contact makes it soo much worse. You need to date some people - so annoying, I know . . . but it helps, actually. I'm a wreck too - my ex lives down the block and has been dating someone who lives in my bldg. - I feel my space has been invaded. It sucks. no way around it
Author ambied421 Posted September 8, 2008 Author Posted September 8, 2008 That is exactly how I feel, like I can't get away from him. I managed to get away at work, and then I turn around and he is driving down my street all the time. I just sucks.
The Collector Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 shouldn't evolution be weeding out as*hol* guys allready? The ******* gene means baby will be tough, not take crap off anyone, including woman, will survive and spawn. There's the rub. OP, was his 'guard' the only reason you dumped him? And he stood you up how many times? It's been six months and you still miss him like crazy. I say give it another chance.
Author ambied421 Posted September 8, 2008 Author Posted September 8, 2008 He stood me up twice. The first time I forgave him, but it took awhile. As far as his gurad goes, he told me that his gurad was up, but he wasn't dating other people and neither was I. As much as I would like to give him another chance, I feel maybe it is too late. Six months is a lot of time. I don't even know how to approach him after I completely cut him out of my life. Plus, should I? Isn't standing someone up completely disrespectful?
BCCA Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 Isn't standing someone up completely disrespectful? It's extremely disrespectful and shows little concern for your feelings. I think if he had any ideas of changing so that you two could try and work things out, he would have made good and sure not to stand you up.
norajane Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 Yes, standing someone up is a sign of disrespect. AND it is RUDE!! With all the ways we have to communicate, there is NO REASON not to let someone know you won't show up. Everyone is tied to their cell phone. He CHOSE to stand you up. You can't become close to someone who makes those kinds of choices.
Author ambied421 Posted September 8, 2008 Author Posted September 8, 2008 Thanks. I feel better in my choice. Some people say I should have forgave him again, and others said no way. I figured if I had forgiven it once more, it would set in motion a bad pattern..one that he could disrespect me and leave me hanging whenever it was convenient for him. I think the only reason why this is so hard for me is because I am forced to see him everyday at work. I go out of my way to avoid him, and I haven't spoken to him at all since I broke things off. We just completely avoid eachother. It is awkward and uncomfortable. It really doesn't seem to be getting any better, unfortunately. And his driving past my house all the time makes me feel bad too. I wish he would stop driving past.
norajane Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 I guess you've already thought about moving to a different department, or even a new job to start fresh?
Author ambied421 Posted September 9, 2008 Author Posted September 9, 2008 Definitely, but right now it is not possible (I have looked...very hard). I am returning back to school in less than a year, and I don't think it would be possible to find another job that pays the same within that time. Though I would love to leave. Going to work everyday is like torture. It is emotionally tiring. I figured in 8 months I'll be quitting anyways, so I guess I have 8 months of hell left.
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