watermeloncandy Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 i stopped in at Chapters the other day to see if i could find the perfect book for me to read. Like something called "How to cope with breaking up when you both still love each other, and how to say goodbye" or "How to make a relationship work with someone who has anger managment problems without having to break up with them". Unfortunately I couldn't find anything for exactly my problem... anyone read anything good that helped? i guess it's impossible to find the perfect book - you pick out of it what you need.
Tony T Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 You can read every book on the planet but if the OTHER PERSON has anger problems your reading will have no affect on that. Why would you want to go through major psychological adjustments in order to better tolerate the situation rather than finding someone who is psychologically stable and rational? Makes no sense whatsoever to me! The reason we love somebody is because of their behavior. Obviously you don't like this anger behavior. Therefore, it's my guess that you aren't in love at all but infatuated in some way or simply used to the situation...a really bad reason to stay in a sucking relationship.
sedgwick Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 You can read every book on the planet but if the OTHER PERSON has anger problems your reading will have no affect on that. Why would you want to go through major psychological adjustments in order to better tolerate the situation rather than finding someone who is psychologically stable and rational? Makes no sense whatsoever to me! Very wise words. Thank you.
Author watermeloncandy Posted September 7, 2008 Author Posted September 7, 2008 You can read every book on the planet but if the OTHER PERSON has anger problems your reading will have no affect on that. Why would you want to go through major psychological adjustments in order to better tolerate the situation rather than finding someone who is psychologically stable and rational? Makes no sense whatsoever to me! The reason we love somebody is because of their behavior. Obviously you don't like this anger behavior. Therefore, it's my guess that you aren't in love at all but infatuated in some way or simply used to the situation...a really bad reason to stay in a sucking relationship. sorry tonyt, i disagree. i do love him. his anger management problem is a 'part' of him but doesn't make up the whole. everything else about him is wonderful. he has a psychological problem that stems from years ago, and he needs help. and i can't stay in a relationship with him until he has control of his problem. and you love someone for more than just their behaviour. at least i do....i love him, but not his temper (which is only a part of him, as i said, it doesn't make up his entire 'being'). and i was being facetious about the book titles. maybe i should have said "How to make a relationship work with someone who has anger managment problems (while they are getting therapy) without having to break up with them".
LateBloomer Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 Letters To a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke. Actually, you don't have to buy it, but makes for great coffee shop reading. Here's an online translation: http://www.sfgoth.com/~immanis/rilke/letter1.html Letter 8 in particular ...
Author watermeloncandy Posted September 8, 2008 Author Posted September 8, 2008 thank you walking away and latebloomer - i will definitely check these out.
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