Girl who's trying to become independent looking to date guy who's already independant

[mswonderful]

I just graduated college, I have a temp job which is pretty low pay, but I am actively and aggressively looking for better work. Since I don't have the right job, I'm stuck in my parent's house for the time being.

 

I've come to be interested in a guy that is in his late 20's, has a good job, nice car, and lives alone.

 

I'm really interested in him, and I know that emotionally I am mature for my age and I have full intentions of moving out and I'm not settling, but I am ready to be in a relationship again and want to be, and I feel like I shouldn't limit myself and count myself out before I give the scenario a chance.

 

Do you think a guy would be understanding of this or would it be way too awkward? Is there harm in letting him take me out on 1 date and telling him how things are or is it useless? I'm not sure.

 

I'm ready to enter his kind of world, but the job is holding me back from everything.

 

I guess the essence of this question is: Is there ever a right time for love or should I just accept it when it presents itself if I'm feeling it?

 

Is denying possible relationships self punishment and a display of low self worth/shame?

[Tomcat33]

I don't think there is any harm at all. I say go out with him and be honest with him in terms of casually letting him know what your goals are but don't bring it up as if you are trying to win him over, be cool about it. Guys are very forgiving in this sense, though if you were just hanigng by the pool all day at your folks' eating bon bons that might be a complete turn off to a guy, don't know too many people that want a bum for a partner.

 

I say go for it if he asks you out, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain!

[rod_in_gtown]

Go for it, guys will relate to this, we've all been in the situation when we've been stuck at our parent's basement and it sucks but it doesn't mean that we don't have goals or that we're not ambitious enough. It just means that we haven't made the move yet.

 

This would not be an issue for me, I'm 30 and if I was going to date a girl it wouldn't matter to me if she still lived at her parents because she just graduated from college and hasn't had the chance to move out. If she has a curfew then that might be an issue, but one that If I liked her enough, I would be willing to put up with it. Think about moving in with a roomate, living by yourself straight out of college is very difficult by yourself and most guys would be understanding of this.

 

The flip side is generally very different, if a guy lives with his parent's it's a dating death sentence. I never felt I could really date when I was living with them. In a way I got married so that I could feel I could get out of the house... but not really... I was really in love... and so was she... but I digress.

 

Go for it. I can almost guarantee that he'll be ok if he's into you.

[spookie]

I think there are definitively right and wrong times for love - it's impossible to have a good relationship when you are feeling like crap about yourself - but your situation doesn't sound all that bad. You've got the degree, the ambition, a supporting family... it sounds more like everything's in place and you're just looking for your big break, as opposed to that your life is in shambles.

 

I don't think this dude will care too much.

[monkey00]

If the guy likes you, he won't mind your situation. Just be honest when he asks about your goals and your job. In 2008, it's more acceptable for a woman to be living at home and trying to make it in the real world than it is for a guy...so be glad you're a girl.

 

I know women who are in worse shape than you and older..so believe me, you're doing pretty well.