Gere51 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 For those of you not sure if No Contact is the right thing to do after a break-up let me relate my experience. When my ex-girlfriend broke up with me for reasons I did not feel valid I must admit that I was a wreck. It totally stunned me and came out of nowhere, as just two hours before she broke it off we had just talked about how our days went (as usual) and she told me how much she loved me. I didn't call, beg, text or do anything to show how much I was hurt, but a couple of days later I got a text from her telling me how much she missed me and still loved me. Like an idiot, I tried to call her with no response. A couple of weeks later we finally talked and she reaffirmed her decision. I didn't argue, rather I said "I'm ok with it, see you later". Of course, I got the "let's be friend" thing. Over the next six weeks she would call on occasion, or send a text. I made the mistake of responding to her calls and/or texts, and it made me feel worse each time. The last straw was when she would call and tell me how great her life was, about some of the guys she had met that weren't measuring up, etc. I got tired of it, decided to "man up", and inititated No Contact. Last contact I had was over two months ago, and since then I have ignored every text and call she made. For about a week after I began the NC, she started texting telling me that she was worried because I wasn't responding, was I still alive, etc. Needless to say, this has helped me get through this immensely. I have not heard from her in about a month now, as I think she's probably figured out that I want nothing to do with her. Bottom line; No Contact will help you heal like nothing else. After your ex tells you it's over don't answer the phone or respond to any other form of communication. I only wish I had done this earlier. Keep in mind; this was a person that I truly loved and would have done anything for. I hope this helps all that are going through a break-up, as I know how difficult it is. I know this is long but if it helps just one person it's worth it.
yongyong Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 so you figured she wouldn't come back anyway and it's better to move on with your life?
sid3 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 Well OP, I think your one of the lucky ones that has the strength to stick to ignoring the conact an ex makes. Good for you. I haven't been in your shoes, but it must have been pretty hard hearing from her and the bs she was saying. It sounds like your doing well. Keep it up and thanks for sharing something positive. Most posts are due to those of us that are having a hard time and/or bad experiences. I appreciate your taking the time to share your story:)
Author Gere51 Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 Thanks, sid3. I won't lie, it has been extremely difficult and I still have my good days and bad days, but I really feel this is the best healing tool for anyone going through this. yongyong, I did have some "blind faith" during the first six weeks we were broken up that maybe she would have a change of heart, but came to realize that it wasn't going to happen. Yes, I do believe that the best way to handle a breakup is to assume that your ex is not coming back and move on.
sid3 Posted September 6, 2008 Posted September 6, 2008 I know just how difficult it can be. I wouldn't say six weeks automatically means she won't have a change of heart. Sometimes it takes much longer for an ex to come back. Sometimes they come back for the right reason, unfortunately they also sometimes come comeback for the wrong reasons as well. I think the atittude that that aren't going to come back is the healthiest way to help your personal healing. When you found a way to move on that works for you, stick with it. We're are all different when it comes to these things, the amount of pain we each feel maybe different as well, but the fact remains, we all have to find a way to cope as best we can so we can more past the hurt and begin the healing that will lead us back to better days
wareagle Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 Yea Nc is the best thing ever!! I wish I would have found this forum a long time ago! I finally manned up the last time she broke my heart 6 months ago and went NC! I had enough of the rollercoaster ride she had put me on for the last year and half! She had tried to contact me several times early on in the breakup trying to keep her foot in the door also trying to further hurt me by telling through text she was marrying the man of her dreams and was pregnant! I'm guessing by my not responding to her attempts that she finally got the message that I was moving on with my life and whatever she said to me or did wasn't going to have the effect that she thought it would so I haven't heard from her in about 2 months! The funny thing is that I still miss her for some crazy ass reason after all the dirty things she did and said to me!! Isn't love ****ed UP!!!
Author Gere51 Posted September 7, 2008 Author Posted September 7, 2008 Wareagle, I know what you mean. I still love me ex, but even if she made an attempt at reconcilation I could never trust her again. I simply do not understand why someone that breaks it off has the need to contact their ex and tell them how great their life is going. In my case I did not beg, plead, argue or say anything nasty and I still got this treatment. It was it she couldn't stand the fact that I didn't try to get her back. Go figure.
yongyong Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 Did you feel that she was just trying to see if you were still interested in her? Did you mention about meeting other girls? if so what was her reaction? Thanks, sid3. I won't lie, it has been extremely difficult and I still have my good days and bad days, but I really feel this is the best healing tool for anyone going through this. yongyong, I did have some "blind faith" during the first six weeks we were broken up that maybe she would have a change of heart, but came to realize that it wasn't going to happen. Yes, I do believe that the best way to handle a breakup is to assume that your ex is not coming back and move on.
Author Gere51 Posted September 7, 2008 Author Posted September 7, 2008 Truthfully, I could not get a "read" on what she was getting at. She would call and tell me how great her life was, she had a new job, was taking flying lessons, meeting new people etc., then she would throw out the "I knew it wasn't going to work out between us because........", so and so said it wasn't going to work out, etc. It was as if she kept trying to justify her decision and I wasn't even arguing or talking about it, so it was confusing behavior. I do think that she fully expected me to try and beg her back as she is an absolutely beautiful women that is very intelligent. She's used to having men kiss her feet as only a couple of years ago she was a Bud Light model, so you can imagine how much attention she is used to getting. I think maybe I was the first that didn't cower down to her, who knows?
Author Gere51 Posted September 7, 2008 Author Posted September 7, 2008 Yongyong, sorry I didn't answer your question fully. No, I didn't mention anything about meeting other women. I remained low key and didn't really give up a lot of information.
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